Toronto Mike

Five Christmas Songs Santa Can Keep For Himself


I've pruned my Christmas playlist down to a 430 songs.  That wasn't easy, as I've got days worth of Christmas tunage.  I'm working on the ideal holiday playlist for 2008 but this entry isn't about those 30 songs.  This entry is about the five Christmas songs I dislike the most.

#5 - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by Jimmy Boyd
This song resurfaces every December in various forms, but it's the original by Jimmy Boyd that I hate the most.  I don't know who this Jimmy Boyd was, but he sings this generally crappy tune as if he's three years old and it's as irritating as all hell.  I wish Santa Claus would stop kissing Jimmy's mom and start kicking his ass.

#4 - Chrissy The Christmas Mouse by Debbie Reynolds and Donald O'Connor
The years have not been kind to Chrissy.  I've got this on an album of classic Christmas songs but I rarely hear it in malls or on the radio anymore.   That's for the best, as Chrissy the Christmas Mouse makes Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer sound like Bob Dylan's "Like a Rolling Stone."

#3 - Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Elmo and Patsy Shropshire
On the bright side, this song's got a death count.  Granny drinks too much eggnog and gets killed by Santa.  I'll bet Santa leaned into the accelerator when Grandma staggered into his path.  Kill this song and we've got ourselves a joyous bloodbath.

#2  - Another Rock and Roll Christmas by Gary Glitter
Even before Glitter's legal troubles came to light, this one made me cringe.  This song is so bad it took another Brit to top it on my list of worst Christmas songs ever.

#1 - Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney
This is the first Christmas song deleted from my playlist and the worst Christmas song in the history of popular music.  I hear Paul was in a rather successful quartet at one time, but you'd never know it by this steaming pile of shite.

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