Toronto Mike

How to Talk Blue Jays Baseball With Bob McCown


Dave just left an awesome comment on my Bob McCown vs. Bill Watters entry. It's a list of 8 things you should do if you want to talk baseball with Bob McCown, host of Prime Time Sports of The Fan 590.  I like this list because it's both well written and pretty accurate.

Want to talk baseball with Bob--this city's sports demagogue. Do the following:
1: Refer to the thirty-seven, fifty-nine, or eighty-four third  basemen brought in by Ricciardi. It doesn't matter if the real  number--excluding subs--is something like three or four. The higher the  number, the more Bob likes you.
2: Say something like, "This guy hasn't done/brought in anyone." Bob  likes that. Don't mention Lind, Hill, Purcey, Snider, Cecil, Marcum,  Litsch, Accardo, Tallet, Downs, etc. Bob doesn't know who they are.
3: Say "I mean," and "C'mon." Say them a lot. Here's a template for  you to use when you're talking to the screener: "I mean, c'mon, what'  this guy doing. I mean, c'mon. Who's he drafting? C'mon, I mean."
4: Tell Bob that this team "has no one" and could never "make a  run." Wells, Rios, Hill, and Overbay are .260/10/70 hitters. Not much  they can do over a complete season. "How are they gonna compete with  Wells and Hill? They got no one there at the corners. They, I mean,  they got no one. I mean, they can't make a run."
5: Ignore everything positive about this team. The fact that they're  third in the AL (and 6th in MLB) in team ERA? It doesn't matter.  "C'mon, I mean, Wells isn't doing anything. C'mon."
6: Banish logic from your argument. The Jays lost two one-run games  to Boston, and have already played ten one-run contests. Since they  lost said games, they're awful. Had they won said games (by one run)  they'd be a great defensive/pitching team.
7: Pretend that slumps never happen: Say something like, "Stairs is on pace to go .300/15/40 this year."
8: Say something that shows your baseball knowledge. Something like,  "My buddies and me were talking baseball. Now we know a lot about the  game. We follow it. We're experts, you know. But that there Jays third  basemen, know...that guy...oh, I can't remember his name.  But I know a lot about baseball. Now I don't like him."
Now you're on. OK. Wind him up, and watch him go.

Sometimes comments are too good to keep buried.  This one deserved some front page exposure.

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