I just wrote the sweet as all hell recap of the 2010 Santa Claus Parade. That's the one you can show your kids or little nephews and nieces or cousins. This is the snark version.
I'd like to know how much DreamWorks had to pony up for the massive Shrek DVD push that opened the parade. In addition to Shrek himself, every kid at the parade got a little gift pack complete with Shrek ears. There were more Shrek ears than reindeer antlers and Santa hats combined.
Hey, celebrity clowns. I don't mean to look a gift horse in the mouth and all, but where was the chocolate? It was all candy, no chocolate, and I friggin' love those holiday eggs you've handed out in previous years. Couldn't you have taken some of that DreamWorks money and scored some chocolate?
The first real float was called "Rob Ford" and it passed without any fanfare. It was surreal, really.
Poor Blinky... he doesn't even blink anymore. First he stops driving himself, then he stops talking, but now that he's not blinking, is he really Blinky anymore?
Nothing says Christmas like Lady Gaga!
So very, very creepy.
These guys just stink.
Really, Ken? A pink tie?
I don't know what these things are, but I hate them.
These guys might be creepier than the upside down clowns.
I for one am sickened by the continuous and overt sexualization of animals in this parade.
A notorious criminal celebrated in front of our precious children? Disgusting.
Blowing through walls just got a little easier.
Somebody has an ego!