"Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs."
December 04, 2025
Homer's Quote of the Week
Total 218 Posts
"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
"Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people."
"It's a good thing that beer wasn't shaken up any more, or I'd have looked quite the fool. An April fool, as it were."
"Oh, Marge, cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh."
"Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!"
"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."
"Dear God, just give me one channel!"
"Jesus, Allah, Buddha. I love you all!"
"To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems."
"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love."
"Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy."
"When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something."
"And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and madder!"
"All right brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer."
"Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep...in a giant blender."
"Weasling out of work is important to learn; it is what separates humans from animals. Except for weasels."
"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."
