For years, I felt like I was put on this planet without instructions. Other people seemed like they knew what they were doing and knew something I didn't. I functioned well enough, got to the top of my class, and started a successful career. Yet, I was constantly exhausted.
Recently, people started to talk about neurodivergence, and these conversations felt like they were about me. I started to ask questions, "How to get tested for neurodivergency?" but the answer was far more complicated than expected.
Not only does the process of diagnosing neurodivergency differ depending on state and insurance type, but the process itself feels quite intimidating. In this article, I'll share my experience step by step to clarify how neurodivergence is diagnosed in adulthood.
My Neurodivergent Traits That Pushed Me to Seek a Diagnosis
Short information for better understanding: Neurodivergence doesn't exist as a separate diagnosis. It's a descriptive term to describe people with neurological conditions and differences. According to the "What type of neurodivergent am I?" quiz, the neurodivergent spectrum includes. ADHD, autism, OCD, dyslexia, etc. So, when I say I was seeking a diagnosis, I mean the conditions above.
For a long time, I assumed I was simply “bad at life.” I was still effective: met deadlines, had friends, and enjoyed life. But the amount of energy it took to function felt unfair. Chronic overwhelm was my basic condition. When I realized I have these traits, I started to look into getting tested for neurodivergence:
- I couldn't just start a task. I needed to come up with strategies and hacks to actually get down to doing something.
- I had very specific food requirements that other people didn't understand.
- Concerning sensory sensitivity, I also didn't like certain textures. When I got in contact with them, I became disproportionately angry.
- I either was very interested in the difficult task or couldn't bring myself to answer a text.
- I didn't enjoy social situations whatsoever, especially with strangers.
- I constantly questioned whether I behaved normally or appeared "normal."
- My emotions are very intense, and they tend to linger for days.
- These feelings and neurodivergent traits have accompanied me since childhood.
Step-by-Step Process of Diagnosing Neurodivergence
Learning how to get tested for neurodivergence is rarely straightforward. I learned that if you're an undiagnosed adult, a diagnosis won't be a piece of cake.
Preparation matters. Here's a general guide on how to test for neurodivergent that I compiled based on my experience. Keep in mind that this experience can differ in details.
#1 Completing an Online Assessment
Before moving towards an official diagnosis, I decided to see whether I am not lying to myself about a potential neurodivergent diagnosis. So, I took an online screening.
Educational assessments are not diagnostic tools, but they were perfect for me to understand whether neurodivergency is the origin of my feelings. To structure my thoughts, I started with a "What type of neurodivergent am I" quiz grounded in evidence-based frameworks. The self-report indicated a higher likelihood of certain conditions that I took into consideration for the next step.
#2 Researching Neurodivergent Symptoms
After completing an online assessment, I researched diagnostic criteria for conditions I had a higher risk of. In clinical practice, professionals often rely on the DSM-5.
For the sake of privacy, I won't share the conditions I researched, but I wrote down the symptoms that felt the most relatable. And of course, I structured them by intensity and their impact on my daily life.
Reading formal criteria helped me understand how neurodivergence is diagnosed beyond internet discourse. I also explored lived experiences in community forums to see how symptoms present in adults, especially in people who mask a lot. That combination of clinical knowledge and real-world stories gave me a more realistic picture of what might come next.
#3 Reaching Out to My GP
Contacting my primary care doctor felt like the most intimidating step. Although we've been through a lot, I still worry my concerns would be dismissed or minimized. Undiagnosed neurodivergent adults aren't treated the best in the medical field, you know.
Preparation made the difference. I kept notes from the previous steps and focused on the impact symptoms had on my life. These notes actually made a significant difference, and I felt validated, which was the nicest I ever felt.
My GP conducted an initial screening and ruled out potential physical conditions that could cause these symptoms. There were some lab tests that confirmed that I don't have thyroid issues or cardiovascular diseases. From there, I received a referral to a specialist.
I know I was lucky. Many adults, especially women and people of color, have their doubts dismissed. Just remember: it is appropriate to seek a second opinion or consult advocacy resources if your concerns were dismissed. Knowing your rights can help you approach the process more confidently.
#4 Preparing for the Actual Assessment
You can imagine how nervous I was at the consultation. I knew that I'd forget everything as soon as I entered that office door. So, I prepared.
Adult neurodivergence evaluations rely heavily on detailed personal history. I documented concrete examples of how symptoms showed up in my life, both now and in childhood. I also gathered feedback from people close to me and reviewed my previous assessment results. I even revisited the DSM-5 criteria to better understand what clinicians will evaluate.
Equally important was emotional preparation. An assessment is not a test to pass or fail. It is not about proving you are “neurodivergent enough.” I reminded myself not to mask or downplay my problems. I reminded myself that this time was fully about my well-being and honesty, even when uncomfortable, which gives clinicians accurate information to work with.
#5 Actual Diagnostic Meeting With Psychiatrist
The diagnostic meeting was structured and thorough. The psychiatrist combined a clinical interview with standardized questionnaires and a review of my developmental history. We discussed my childhood behavior, school experiences, work patterns, emotional responses, sleep habits, and stress tolerance. Some parts involved rating scales.
The specialist also considered differential diagnoses. Anxiety, depression, trauma, burnout, and other conditions can overlap with neurodivergent traits. Hence, we met more than once to rule out alternative explanations.
I know that some mental health specialists involve family members or colleagues to have an outside perspective on symptoms. I had a detailed personal history, so I didn't need external input. Just don't be scared if a doctor asks for your significant other to come in.
What is worth remembering about meeting a specialist is that the meeting shouldn't be only about a doctor asking you questions. For example, I asked a ton of questions about how conclusions are drawn and what criteria must be met. It's your right as a patient.
#6 Waiting for the Results
After the assessment, the waiting period felt like forever. In reality, the waiting took a week. But this week was the most emotional in my life: I was relieved to finally take action, anxious about the outcome, and impatient to get the result.
The doctor gave me some instructions on what to do in the waiting period to support my well-being. The primary recommendation was to take things easy. I rested more and cared about myself more than usual. The evaluation process was quite draining because it required revisiting childhood experiences and long-standing struggles.
To be completely honest, I reminded myself that there are multiple possible outcomes. I could receive a diagnosis and finally have an explanation. Or I could be told that another condition better explains my symptoms and that I need to take additional assessments. My psychiatrist told me that every outcome is a valuable finding.
#7 Getting a Personalized Treatment Plan
I got diagnosed with a suspected neurodivergent condition. It was my first attempt, and I am grateful to the medical team who took great care of me.
A formal diagnosis opened access to practical tools. My psychiatrist discussed evidence-based options, which could include medication, therapy, coaching, behavioral strategies, or workplace accommodations, depending on individual needs. We decided to experiment with therapy being the central component of my treatment plan.
How Testing for Neurodivergence Helped Me Improve My Life Quality
Of course, getting diagnosed with a neurodivergent condition didn't magically fix my symptoms. But it changed how I view myself. Instead of constantly asking, “Why can’t I just be normal?” I realized that I am biologically different and it's okay. I am not a failure for the way my brain works.
The diagnosis allowed me to build routines that matched my cognitive style instead of copying systems that worked for others but consistently failed me. New routines helped me with:
- Self-criticism. I stopped assuming that I am incompetent, but that certain strategies are not for my brain. I just chose new strategies.
- Productivity. I finally stopped relying on my inconsistent motivation and started to lean into ways that help me to actually do things.
- Self-esteem. I finally believe that I am worth compassion. Not because "I have a condition," but because I needed to be self-compassionate from the beginning. It's a basic human need.
- Healthier routines. Sleep, reminders, simplified systems worked like a charm.
- Less masking. I stopped performing because I realized I was wasting my energy. I'd rather be weird and quirky, but sincere and energetic.
Most importantly, testing reframed my narrative. A diagnosis did not limit me. It helped me work with my brain instead of against it.
