Jays concede season after opening day blowout

(St. Petersburg, FLA) After game 1 of the 2014 regular season, Major League Baseball’s Toronto Blue Jays have admitted the season is lost. “We’ll get ‘em next year”, says Jays Manager John Gibbons. Toronto was optimistic just days prior to the season opener, which engineered a winning record in pre-season matchups.

However, things began poorly Monday for starting pitcher R.A. Dickey who was roughed up by Tampa Bay’s unrelenting offense, despite ideal indoor conditions at Tampa for knuckleballer Dickey. Dickey spoke to reporters after the 9-2 drubbing at the hands of the Rays. “We gave it our best this season, so we’ll just need to re-group over the next seven months and over the winter to prepare for 2015.”

Some baseball analysts debated the depth of the Jays, now toiling in last place in the ultra competitive American League East. A key concern for the squad from the 2013 campaign was whether or not they could stay healthy. Manager Gibbons went on record to lament about how injuries played a factor last year, specifically with shortstop Jose Reyes. At his first plate appearance at the afternoon matchup, Reyes re-injured a hamstring that had been nagging him over the last 2 weeks. “Well with Reyes out of the lineup we just won’t be able to manufacture any runs this season”, Gibbons noted. Addressing the media scrum around him, Gibbons added: “So, unless you guys have any ideas, I just don’t see any point in continuing”. When a reporter asked about how other players could fill in for Reyes, Gibbons replied: “I’m serious. Do you guys have any ideas?”

After Monday’s loss, every Jays player came out of the dugout and waved goodbye to the Toronto fans in attendance, thanking them for their support despite another losing season. As players threw batting gloves and other paraphenelia into the crowd, centerfielder Colby Rasmus was clearly emotional. Afterwards, Rasmus commented that the whole team “is clearly exhausted” and needs a break after a grueling 1-day roadtrip to Tampa Bay.

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Comments (9 - click here to join in!)

Eekan Boo

Very nice.

April 1, 2014 @ 9:56 AM


That's funny!

April 1, 2014 @ 10:35 AM

519 Rob

At least they'll only finish the year 1 game under .500. A VAST improvement over last year!

April 1, 2014 @ 10:36 AM


If not the team, their fans should concede the season. Why bother watching them when all they're going to do is finish 4th (at best) and under .500???

April 1, 2014 @ 10:46 AM

Another Boomer

Glass half full: only 1 game under .500!

Glass half empty: a .000 winning PCT!

April 1, 2014 @ 10:48 AM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

On the bright side, Erik Kratz just had a season for the ages.

AVG: 1.000
OBP: 1.000
SLG: 4.000
OPS: 5.000

April 1, 2014 @ 10:52 AM

this guest

they gave it
a shot

April 1, 2014 @ 12:26 PM

Al Coholic

Does this mean my $ 10.00 bet at 25 to 1 that the Jays finish the first week of the season with 2 wins and 5 losses is now void?

April 1, 2014 @ 1:00 PM


Keep this post. It may end up being very prophetic. :)

April 2, 2014 @ 11:57 AM

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