Toronto Mike


So I''m writing this guest entry to solicit some of your best..and when you were growing up. A guy I went to university with was so broke he participated in those pharmaceuitcal testing weekends. He was paid handsomely, but sprouted a tail about 2 years later. Good for balance, bad for meeting girls.

Here are some of my early gigs with some positives and negatives.

+ Free hot dog and coke at 9th hole
- Lining up along a wall at 6am to get selected by old white a slave auction

+ Little kid allowed to swing axe at stuff - what's not to like?
- The pay was an ice cream cone

Newspaper delivery boy
+ Independence
- 5am wake up to start prepping papers / collecting - some pricks would dodge paying by saying they didn't receive their paper

McDonald's - Quarter Pounder grill
+ Made my own (free) big macs with 4 or 5 patties and a hundred pickles on it
- You are coated by grease and smell like meat... all the time.
Bonus fact! I once had to dress up as The Professor character and along with others like  Grimace and Mayor McCheese, I was sent outside to greet kids, none of whom had ever heard of The Professor character

Coat check at Royal York Hotel
+ Easiest fucking money ever
- 8am Saturday morning shifts after Friday night fraternity parties
Bonus fact! One older guy who worked there wanted to watch me have sex with his wife

Security Guard
+ Look tough in uniform
- Was told once to go look for a crazy hobo who was somewhere on the 10th floor of a darkened office building...who was armed with an 8 inch screwdriver

Private Investigator
+Lived at a hotel in Ottawa for a summer, fantastic dough, killed many
- If people knew who I really was, could have been many

Retail sampler
+Met lots of chicks
- Standing all the time, pretending to give a shit about the product

Pizza delivery
+Free pies
-Giant risk of being shanked delivering to rathole apartment buildings

+Working outside in the summer
- Hard bloody the summer

Hobo Gauntlet Radio Episode 6 is now online for streaming or download. These 1 hour shows include a bit of commentary, but I mainly spin some of my favourite alternative tunes that span the decades. Episode 6 features Tones on Tail, Lemon Jelly, The Pogues, James, The Propellerheads and more. Get the link at my blog at or directly at

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About Toronto Mike
I own TMDS and host Toronto MIke'd. Become a Patron.