Toronto Mike

Roll Up The Stress

Roll Up The Stress

By now we’re all aware that Tim Horton’s is part of the fabric of this great nation. At least, that’s what their ad agency tells us.  So like a lot of Canadians, most days on my way in to work I stop at T-Ho's for a coffee. I'm not surprised this ritual is a cultural institution, but I am surprised by human behaviour.

Tim Horton's locations are notoriously rammed, and this includes their drive thru’s as well. Each morning when I drive in to the lot, 99% of the time it’s blocked solid. So as I first enter the parking lot, I quickly peer into the window to gauge the gong show within.  If the lineup is moderate, I’ll park and go inside. If not, I’ll keep driving and settle for the reasonably hand-drawn facsimile of a coffee I can get at my work cafeteria. This is what I don't understand about us silly humans. When the drive thru is nuts and not so bad inside, you can park, walk 20 feet and get your coffee in 3 minutes. Or, you can sit in your car, listen to terrible morning radio hosts and get your coffee in 10-15 minutes. And, aren’t most people, on average, “running a little late” in the mornings and in a hurry to get to work?  I‘d hazard a guess that despite the probability of being late for work, most people wil still opt to sit in a drive thru.

And, I’m sure you’ve all seen this before, but at my particular Tim Horton’s, there are two entrances. As such,  two lines form to enter the single drive thru lane, which of course increases blood pressure and causes localized road rage. Cars slowly inch forward to passively aggressively signal to the enemy in the other converging lane: “hey asshat - I was here first and you better not fuck with me by trying to slip ahead in the line”  This reaction is understandable, since that would mean that the other guy gets his coffee 57 seconds earlier than you did.  It really is quite comical how stress-inducing this is for people.  I can see it in their faces and hear it in their horns and screams out their car windows.

See I figure life is stressful enough. We’ve got bills to pay and dick bosses to deal with.  So, why place an additional layer of stress onto yourself every single morning when it’s so unbelievably easy to avoid?

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About Toronto Mike
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