Later this month, this blog will celebrate its 7th birthday. Seven years of constant blogging means this blog is older than the vast majority of blogs you read each day. Name a blog... I'll bet I beat it to the blogosphere.
I've had this site for ten years, and I remember well making the decision to turn the site into a blog. During the summer of 2002 I discovered a few blogs, back when the mainstream didn't know what a "blog" was, and it seemed ideal for my writing style. There weren't many blogs back then, and here in Toronto there were very, very few, but there was one local blog by a young woman who threw it all down online. She's still blogging today, and this entry is about her.
Raymi was also blogging in late 2002. I interviewed her back in 2005 and again in 2006. She's still blogging at raymitheminx.com, but lately her entries have seemed uninspired and forced. They've seemed... fake... highly unusual for someone so incredibly forthcoming and honest for years. Now we know why.
do you want to know the honest truth? i became ornamental and allowed it. i became alone and it felt normal. i gave up on myself, on being myself. i became callous. i forgot what romance was, passion. it got lost. real world stresses took it away and in its place we put booze and companionship and familiarity. thought we’d have the rest of our lives to work it out, he did. he feels that was such a gaff, and i agree. i said (and am saying way too much now) you are going to lose me and not even notice. the last two weeks of it, personal shit (though there was always something), were very fucking hard on the both of us, for two different reasons. the short of it is i could no longer tolerate being shut out emotionally, my spirit had had enough. i actually once daily said to myself the words i want to die. over-melodramatic words, that i meant, but i could never do that. but daily i felt it. i think i even said it to a few deaf ears. i know i did.
Her entry today about the demise of her relationship with her fiancée is why we're glad Raymi still blogs. It's real. It's honest. It's raw.
Throw it all down, Raymi. Throw it all down...