Dear Courtney,

Dear CourtneyI don't like you and I wish you'd just go away.

Thankfully, my favourite radio station doesn't play "Mono" very often, but when they do I change the station. While browsing the Rolling Stone CD reviews, I came across their review of America's Sweetheart, your solo debut. Out of morbid curiosity I had to read what they thought of it. I'm glad I did.

Their review states "despite all the producers and song doctors, Sweetheart seems tired". It goes on to say "no matter what you've heard about her real-life problems, nothing could prepare you for how busted up she sounds". My favourite line is this: "Her best riff shows up on "I'll Do Anything," which sounds like an old song you may remember called "Smells Like Teen Spirit.""

So, you've released a crap CD and are even busting a style from Kurt. If you're going to steal riffs, I suggest victimizing a slightly less worshipped tune. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is holy land and we won't tolerate you disrespecting it so.

If you don't mind, I'd like to close this letter in the same fashion Rolling Stone closed their review of your CD. "On America's Sweetheart, she can't find the emotional intensity that made her a star. So she settles for the role of a hapless circus act staggering down the red carpet -- and Paris Hilton does it better."

Later,
Mike


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