Freddie P had a nice little entry on his blog about MOJO Radio, which launched seven years ago this week. 640 on your AM dial, it was billed as talk radio for guys, and Humble Howard and Fred Patterson moved over from CFNY to work the morning shift.
Humble & Fred was my morning show of choice throughout the 1990s. That covered just about my entire high school and university career as well as my first full-time gig. I loved the music on 102.1 and I loved the hilarious banter between the two.
As I recall, they started simulcasting their show on 640. That meant, for a little while at least, you were hearing the exact same morning show on both CFNY and what was soon to become MOJO Radio. I should have known something was up... I was pretty ticked when I learnt Humble and Fred were leaving my radio station for some damn AM thing.
Although I tried, I had difficulty following the boys over to MOJO. To be honest, I found the whole Mojo thing to be pretty stupid. It just seemed dumbed down and annoying. Yes, Humble and Fred still had their moments, and I discovered this awesome little show by a fellow named Mike Stafford, but I refused to make time for anyone else on the station. By the time Humble and Fred left for Mix 99.9, I was already gone.
It's funny how life takes these twists and turns. I had lunch with Humble two days ago at a great little Italian Restaurant by the video production company he's working at. Then, the very next day, Humble met Freddie for lunch, their first hang time since the Valentine's Day Podcast of Love, and I was in the room with Humble, Fred and Dan Duran for that one. Speaking of Freddie P., I've been working a cool new project with him these past few weeks, something I'm hoping we'll announce next week.
They're both great guys and I like them even better in person than I did when I awoke to their voices every weekday morning. MOJO didn't work out as planned, but had it succeeded, I'd be short a couple of buddies.
Like I said, life is strange. You never know what's behind the corner...
My pal and partner in crime (more on that soon) Freddie P has unveiled "Papa's World", a potential animated series based on characters owned and voiced by Pete Cugnos. I met Pete the day we recorded the 17th annual Humble & Fred Christmas podcast back in 2006. You may know Pete best as Scary Bald Headed Pete or the voice of the new Mini-Wheats guy.
Papa's World, in its current carnation, is a series of trailers for shows that are written but not yet animated. I've got pals in animation (Alexi, I'm thinking of you) who can throw this entry to those with influence to see if there's a series here. Alexi, forward this link!
Here are the first five trailers for Papa's World.
Humble wrote a nice little piece about Dan Duran today. Dan Duran is 50.
I don't know Dan the way Humble knows Dan, but we are neighbours, our kids go to the same school and I've crashed his home for a few podcasts and software demo recordings.
On Dan's 50th, here's Dan Duran saying "The Humble Report".
If it seems I'm neglecting my duties here, it's because I'm pretty busy right now working on a new site. I've partnered with Fred Patterson from the Humble & Fred Show and FreddieP.ca on this new project and I'll divulge all details as soon as it's ready to launch.
Fred recognized something was missing in the Canadian blogosphere, we hooked up at Kelsey's to exchange ideas and a collaborative partnership was formed. I'll be hacking away at it this weekend between Easter egg hunts, brunches, slo-pitch tournaments and hockey games.
I've got a radio in my shower and this morning it was tuned to 102.1. At about 7:40am or so, I heard a familiar voice. Freddie P was in the studio, chatting with the crew that took over after Humble & Fred left CFNY for Mojo.
Freddie P was in the building because he was scheduled to appear with John Derringer on Q107, but Dean Blundell showed some class by letting Fred be heard on 102.1 for the first time since the spring of 2001. It was great hearing his voice again, I'm just sorry it was only for a few minutes and that it wasn't accompanied by another dude.
Fred Patterson, one half of the former morning show tandem of Humble & Fred, wrote an entry on his blog this morning about viral growth. Fred understands content is king, and he was writing about what someone wrote about his blog on Facebook. Here's how Fred ended his entry.
I put a lot of work into this site. I figure if you're going to do it, you might as well put some effort into it. Rather than fill it with useless crap off the internet or nothing but a steady stream of boring shit about myself.
Exactly one hour earlier, Howard Glassman, the other half of Humble & Fred, wrote an entry on his blog that pokes fun at his blogging style. Beneath a cartoon with the caption "I have nothing to say, I say it regularly", he wrote the following.
This pretty much sums up the world of Blogging. Yes I know I'm the only one who puts up drivel most days. All the other Bloggers out there are saying relevant, issue based-life changing things that their friends are already sick of so they have to foist them on us! Yes sir I said foist. I'm not even sure if that's a word. It should be. Maybe I should blog about it. Or not.
Those two entries say everything about the blogging styles of these two radio personalities. Fred spends a great deal of time and effort managing his blog entries, touching on current events and expressing pointed opinions on various and sundry items of the day. Howard, I know for a fact, prides himself on how little effort he devotes to his entries. He throws down what he terms "drivel", which is stream of consciousness thoughts about whatever and "what I had for breakfast this morning" type tidbits. Howard is also a fan of OPC, or "Other People's Content" in which he'll toss up a YouTube clip he received from a reader or borrowed from another blog, usually this one. Fred rarely does that.
The blogosphere has room for both styles. I love reading Fred's opinions on heavier topics, even though we rarely agree with one another, and I love reading Howard's humourous drivel and quirky observations. Fred's blog can be some pretty heavy lifting and Howard's blog is an easy and breezy read. They complement each other perfectly, which might explain why their on air chemistry isn't matched by any morning show currently airing in this city.
As for me, I like to think I swing both ways. But make no mistake about it, it's still all about Mike.
Today, a couple of my world's collided. Seinfeld fans understand the importance of keeping the world's apart, but I've failed to follow George's good advice.
I was part of a team putting together an online Flash software demo for my 9-5 gig. Yes, I have a 9-5 gig as this Toronto Mike blog thing doesn't quite pay the mortgage. We needed a voice over guy to narrate the thrilling video and I ended up hiring Humble Howard. Then, we needed a producer and sound studio, so I ended up hiring Dan Duran.
This morning I found myself at Dan Duran's house with Howard Glassman as he read our script for this Flash demo. It was a paying gig for all three of us and these two worlds, normally completely separate, collided like a sonuvabitch.
Dan makes a great cup of coffee and Humble makes corporate performance management software sing. Here's the least funny Humble audio you'll ever hear.
A year ago this week, Humble and Fred recorded together for the last time. When we were recording the Valentine's Day Podcast of Love, I assumed there would be a fourth podcast. There wasn't.
The archivist that I am, I'm hosting all the Humble and Fred podcasts, including this one. They're now living at http://www.torontomike.com/humbleandfred/. As you'll hear, I wasn't just in the room for this Humble and Fred finale, I was a part of the show.
As I wrote last week, Humble Howard Glassman was a guest on The Debaters this past weekend. While The Debaters aired on Saturday night, Humble was devouring my wife's lasagna (not as dirty as it sounds), so I didn't get to hear the show.
Luckily for me, Humble had a buddy record the whole thing to MP3 so he could share it on his site. Here it is in all its hilarity.
The Debaters is the hit CBC Radio show that features Canada’s hottest comedians going toe to toe, debating topics in the news and on the minds of Canadians. This week's episode is Valentine's Day themed and love is in the air. It also features my good friend Humble Howard Glassman as he takes on Judy Croon.
In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love... but how about the young women?
Romantic realist Judy Croon tries to convince author and comedian "Humble" Howard Glassman that Valentine's Day does nothing to promote love.
Next up on our hearts and flowers episode, surprisingly romantic Al Rae does his best to prove to newly single Deborah Kimmett that "till death do us part" is still relevant.
Life is like a box of chocolates, and so is The Debaters -- it's sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter and occasionally filled with nuts. Tune in with your sweetheart and fall in love with The Debaters all over again.
Airs Saturday, February 9th at 6:30 PM and Monday, February 11th at 8:30 PM on Radio One.
This will be fun. Here's a taste of the humble one.
For over a year I've been trying to get Humble Howard to tell me what look he likes for his blog. We modelled a look that resembled the cover of his book "The Slime That Men Do" but it's been in need of refreshing for a while now.
Ok, I didn't mimic it. I essentially stole large chunks of the HTML and CSS and made modifications from there. Bob Odenkirk, David Cross, I'm admitting I didn't reinvent the wheel on this one and remember, imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
Check out the new HumbleHoward.com when you get a chance. It's still a work in progress, I still have some fine tuning to do, but you'll already see the uncanny resemblance.
When I listed my favourite "snow" songs the other day, Phil left a comment reminding me about "Snow Removal Machine". "Snow Removal Machine" was Fred Patterson's parody of The Cult's "Love Removal Machine" and was often played at this time of year during the CFNY morning show. I remember it from the Humble & Fred show, but I understand it's older than that.
From Freddie P. himself, "This is the shortened version.. the long original version is on a tape that I can't transfer until I find an old "cart" machine." By the way, we played this during the 17th Annual Humble & Fred Christmas podcast last year. Enjoy.
As promised, here's a bunch of old Christmas bumpers heard on the Humble & Fred Morning Show. Share this link with fans of the show and help make it a Humble and Fred Christmas after all.
Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Let It Snow
Carol of the Bells
Little Town of Bethlehem
Little Drummer Boy
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
Three Kings
Three Kings 2
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Heretic Jew
Building A Snowman
Joy To The World
Deck the Halls
Christmas Morning
Holiday Bonus: Norm Spencer Saying "The Humble Report"!
A Humble & Fred holiday tradition may be dead and buried, but that doesn't mean Toronto Santa Mike can't dig into his holiday sack of MP3s and throw a whole wack of Humble & Fred holiday-themed jingles at you. I've got lots, and one day next week I'll write a monster entry in which every one of them is playable.
For a taste of things to come, here's one of my personal favourites. This is the Humble & Fred take on Carol of the Bells.
Now that both Humble and Fred have publicly stated it, I can finally write this entry. There will be no 18th Annual Humble & Fred Christmas show. Not on the radio or in podcast form. After 17 years, this annual Toronto tradition has come to an end.
Fans of the show will tell you this streak wasn't really in tact anyway. Back in 1991 Humble was at CKFM-FM while Fred was still at CFNY and in 2005 the show went on without Fred who had been relieved of his duties at Mix 99.9. Still, we all got together for the 18th annual show last December, against all odds, and it felt awfully special.
That's right, I said "we". I was invited to Dan Duran's house that Saturday morning we recorded the podcast and I took a bunch of pictures. Although I've known there would be no 18th Christmas show for some time, I had no idea I was witnessing the end of an era on December 16, 2006. At the time, I assumed we'd be doing it all again in December 2007. I was wrong.
As a fan, this truly sucks. The on-air chemistry between Humble Howard and Freddie P was awesome. They complemented each other so well, and watching them do their thing was like watching a long-time married couple complete each other's sentences. As a fan, I think it stinks that I can't hear another podcast and laugh my ass off.
On a personal level, it saddens me. I've grown quite close to Howard, we chat often about a variety of subjects and hook up whenever possible, and lately I've spent more time chatting with Fred and getting to know him. Both guys are solid citizens with unique talents and it would be a treat to watch them share a mic one more time. I root for both in their post-Humble & Fred careers, but it's tough when you think they're better when they're together. Like a long-time marriage, it's not necessarily forever. They've moved on, and so must we.
As I mentioned last month, I secured a complete backup of the old humbleandfred.com and I'm hosting it for posterity's sake. You can revisit the 17th Annual Christmas Show web page and listen to last year's podcast. You can stream it from that page, subscribe to the podcast or download the MP3. I covered all the bases. Trust me, it's a year old, but it's still hilarious. And now, it's bitter sweet.
Below is me, Bingo Bob, Fred Patterson, Dan Duran, Scary Bald Headed Pete and Humble Howard Glassman after we recorded the 17th and final Humble & Fred Christmas Show on December 16, 2006.
For waking me up every weekday morning of the 90s, for making me laugh and for helping me through both high school and university, thanks...
The tickets actually belong to former Toronto Maple Leaf Stew Gavin, but he gave them to Gavin Management Group client Humble Howard who took me along for the ride. I wasn't just going to a Leafs game, I was getting a chance to hang in the Alumni Lounge.
Donning my #5 Bill Barilko jersey, we got there nice and early to watch the pre-game skate. Actually, it was more like the pre-ceremony skate. Mark Messier, Al MacInnis, Ron Francis, Scott Stevens and Jim Gregory were introduced before the game and then there was a solemn Remembrance Day ceremony before the puck actually dropped. The first period wasn't particularly noteworthy, but then we made our way to the Alumni Lounge.
Stew Gavin greeted us there and he was with his buddy Jim Peplinski. Peplinski played for the Flames and co-captained the Calgary team that won the Stanley Cup in 1989. It was very cool to hang with both Gavin and Peplinski, but once in the lounge, it was Nick Kypreos who made a bee-line for us. Apparently Kypreos, a genuinely engaging and swell fellow based on our brief convo last night, is rather grateful for the broadcasting experience he gained on the Humble and Fred show. Now that Kypreos seems to be everywhere, hosting a radio show and appearing regularly on Sportsnet, this earned Humble a big hug from the big guy. I was distracted the entire time by his massive Stanley Cup ring.
Although he wasn't a part of our little circle, I couldn't help but notice that Eric Bana was hanging in the Alumni Lounge as well. I'm pretty sure he never suited up for the Leafs, but I suppose he knows people. Maybe he knew Gavin?
While we were walking from the Alumni Lounge to our seats, the Rangers scored two to go up 2-0. We came back thanks to a pair of Poni goals and I got to witness my first ever shootout live. Shootouts are exciting as all hell, but there should be five shooters instead of three. It was over in seconds...
It was a great night. Humble was fantastic company, even buying me a hot dog and Coke, and I got to meet a couple of former Leafs and a former Flame. Here's a photoset of pics I took during the night. Thanks HH!
I spent Saturday morning at Humble Howard's place where he showed me some cool Blackberry shortcuts, we discussed potential Internet ventures and I got to hear all about his top secret wheelings and dealings with Insight that very well could make him the next Simon Cowell. Unfortunately, I'm sworn to secrecy and he'll withdraw the Leafs tickets he's offered me for next Saturday if I even drop a hint as to what the show he's pitching is all about.
In his entry about my visit, Howard mentioned the fact I passed on the goat cheese. I was served a great breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, bread, coffee and goat cheese, and anyone who knows me could probably guess I'd pass on the goat cheese. I'm sure goat cheese is lovely, but I didn't feel a need to find out. As he says, when it comes to food, my tastes are old school.
So yes, I passed on the goat cheese. And I'd do it again, too.
When people learn I'm friends with both Humble and Fred, I'm almost always asked what they're up to. The fact is anything I'd be allowed to share would probably already be on their respective blogs, but it's a fair question and I do my best to answer it. Humble and Fred were the morning guys throughout the 90s on the radio station of choice for most of us born in the 70s, so there's naturally a great fondness for them and a genuine interest in their whereabouts.
Humble, who I'm hanging with on Saturday, will be appearing on an episode of the CBC radio comedy show "The Debaters". He'll be taping that in Saskatchewan and he'll be debating Judy Croon who worked with him on Mix 99.9. Fred will host the Bill Watters Show on AM 640 tomorrow and Friday. That starts at 4pm and runs until 7pm.
Another question I'm often asked by fellow fans of The Humble and Fred Show is whether there will be another podcast. Humble and Fred recorded three podcasts following their departure from radio, starting with last year's awesome Christmas show. I was lucky enough to be in the room while two of the three were recorded at Dan Duran's house and I was responsible for making sure you guys could hear it online. I don't know if the guys know I did this, but I grabbed a copy of the old humbleandfred.com and archived it at http://www.torontomike.com/humbleandfred/. You can actually go there and hear all three hilarious podcasts and then you can wonder why the hell these two no longer have their own show.
My answer to this podcast question isn't really an answer but a suggestion they ask Howard or Fred. If it were up to me, there would most definitely be an 18th Annual Humble & Fred Christmas Show. Unfortunately, it's not up to me.
Now get over to http://www.torontomike.com/humbleandfred/ and enjoy some great Humble and Fred from the past year. It's uncensored, cocked and loaded. And it's hilarious, dammit!
Humble Howard Glassman and I were just chatting, and he spilt a few more beans about his role in Repo! The Genetic Opera!.
Repo! The Genetic Opera! is currently filming here in Toronto and is some sort of a funky horror/musical hybrid. The plot outline on the IMDB page is as follows: "A worldwide epidemic encourages a biotech company to launch an organ-financing program similar in nature to a standard car loan. The repossession clause is a killer, however."
It stars Paul Sorvino and Paris Hilton and earlier this week Humble Howard blogged about his day on the set. It seems he's got a part in this film, so I hit him up for additional details.
Toronto Mike: why don't you give me an exclusive on this paris hilton movie role - are you playing a newsman or dj? Humble Howard: neither. I'm playing a Talking head that floats around a giant blimp-like structure and lords over all the plebes below... sort of a play by play of the Opera
i think! Toronto Mike: who are the other talking heads? John Gallagher is one, right? Humble Howard: just john and I and we're the only speaking roles in the thing. everyone else sings, for the most part...
I think John is great in it and I know he'll be at the wrap party.. Toronto Mike: we're talking about the same John Gallagher, right? Humble Howard: he couldn't ask enough people where/when it was going to be!
Yeah, Spike Loud Guy Gallagher. this part is perfect for him...anyways I know a lot of people don't like him but he was always good to me. Toronto Mike: I don't mind him, I only know him from his CityTV sports days - he is what he is Humble Howard: true true. Toronto Mike: anything else before I make ya famous? Humble Howard: sure I met with a media giant at his house yesterday...i can't say who it is but his name sounds like Closes Miner!
So there you have it, Humble Howard and Spike Gallagher are floating heads who narrate this genetic opera. Chicago was a musical filmed in this city that won Best Picture at the Academy Awards. Will Repo! The Genetic Opera! be as successful?
Fred Patterson, or Freddie P as he's often called, is best known as one half of the Humble & Fred morning show. I met him through Humble Howard and helped him with his popular blog, FreddieP.ca.
Fred's a gracious guy, and he was nice enough to grant me an interview. Here's my interview with Freddie P.
Q: How did Fred Patterson get his start in radio? Tell us about breaking into the biz and that little yellow house in Brampton. A: After leaving Seneca College in 1978 I took a job at CKFH (now the Fan) writing traffic reports for the morning man who at the time was Brian Barker.
I worked three hours a day for $2.50 an hour. I had to walk half a mile from my house in Scaborough to the bus stop at Birchmount and Eglinton at 4:30 in the morning. CKFH was basically at Yonge and College.
I went all that way to earn $7.50 a day but it was worth it because it put me in the environment of a radio station that leaned heavily towards sports.
Before long I was working the board for Blue Jays baseball and helping out on Bob McCown's original sports talk show, "Talking of Sports."
It was great but I wanted to be "on air" at the folks at FH thought I was too young and green, so at McCowns urging I started to look around and that's how I ended up in Brampton at CHIC 790 - a disco station that needed a news and sports announcer.
It wasn't long before David Marsden hired me to do sports on CFNY (CHIC's sister station) and that's where I stayed for 22 glorious years.
Q: We're missing your voice on Toronto radio. What's next for Freddie P? A: I have no idea. I'd love to get back into radio but I'm a realist. It's a different business today with less competition and way more interest in bottom line. Ideally I dream of having my own talk show in Toronto, but so do four thousand other people.
I miss the radio station environment and the interaction with people. I'd love to get up each day and have a show to create and present in my own way.
People might laugh at the comparison, but my website has been great therapy for me and in a way constructing it is much like you would a radio talk show. Take a subject, analyze it, give your opinion, piss off a few people, and then wait for the response.
Q: People my age are particularly fond of Mr. Goohead. I want to know the origin of Mr. Goohead and when we can expect a major motion picture featuring the character. A: When someone makes me an offer. Fat chance.
Mr. Goohead was a real spring board for me. It was his creation that led to my move from sportscaster to morning show co-host. It showed that there was another side to me.
The first episode happened in 1987 with the "Time Change" episode on the Steve Anthony morning show. The clocks and just changed and something inspired me to call a Chinese restaurant and screw with the guy. The voice just came out and the name came from my brother in law who used to call people gooheads.
It got such a great reaction I just kept thinking of concepts and doing them.
At the same time, it was one of those things that after 15 years I grew tired of. Morning shows changed and so did the Humble and Fred Show and prank calls simply didn't inspire me any more.
I still have over a hundred episodes and feature them on my website. freddiep.ca
Q: What happened to that BBQ show you hosted on television? Admittedly, my memory is a little hazy, but I remember you giving grilling tips. Was that a cool gig? A: The money and the experience were fantastic. The product wasn't so great.
I was hired with the understanding that CTV wanted Fred Patterson, the down to earth every day guy who worked on CFNY. I was going to do a relaxed presentation, very casual and off the cuff.
But then the sponsor got involved.
Chinette plates decided they didn't want that image. They made high class paper plates so you couldn't have a guy sloppin' stuff on and off the barbeque. You know, reality.
Instead it turned into a formal and stiff segment that I wasn't especially proud of.
Q: You've done quite a bit of podcasting since you left radio. There's the work you do at beer.com and those awesome Humble & Fred podcasts we did from Dan Duran's house. Will there be another Humble & Fred podcast this Christmas? A: They were well received so It would be a shame to let the tradition die. But who knows what will be happening by Labour Day let alone Christmas.
Q: What's your favourite movie? A: The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz. Call it timing. The right movie at the right time for me and nothing has surpassed it.
Q: I've noticed a conservative slant at freddiep.ca. When did you sell your soul to the devil? A: How does the saying go. NDP at 20, Liberal at 30, then you grow up and become Conservative at 40. And I know of what I speak because I've voted for all three parties over the years.
Believe it or not, I'm not partisan. Just give me good honest government. Like that rat Mike Harris who did nothing but do what he said he was going to do. Some of it backfired, but nobody can say he lied to them.
It absolutely amazes me that after 13 years of corrupt Liberal government at the federal level, and four years of Liberal deceit at the provincial level that anyone could even dream of voting for that party.
But people seem to be so anti-conservative they're willing to forgive and forget anything.
Q: I'm a little young to remember Pete 'n Geets, but I hear amazing things. What was it like being a part of that genius? A: Pete and Geets were fantastic. They were Canada's pioneer FM morning show, and here's what I mean by that. In the early days of CHUM-FM they changed the way morning radio was done.
Less music, more talk, irreverent instead of corny and they didn't yell at you like the am morning shows did. When they came to CFNY in 1980, it got even better.
I often find it amusing how much credit Howard Stern gets for bringing a different style of morning show to radio, but his "style" was being established by Pete and Geets before Stern was even out of college. But without the tits and ass.
And of course, Pete and Geets never got the credit they deserved, mainly because they never had huge ratings. But as we've learned over the years, ratings doesn't mean quality.
The current ratings system is a joke and has robbed Toronto of a lot of good radio over the years.
Q: Is there anything else you want to share with the Toronto Mike crowd? A: Yea. You don't know what you've got till it's gone. Don't be sad it's over, be glad it happened. Eat lots of fibre and teach your children well.
One year ago today I detected a series of searches bringing people to this site. These searches were for statements like "humble howard fired" or "humble howard fired from mix". The first thing I did was check the local news outlets for word that Humble had been canned. Even though there was no evidence that Humble Howard was out of a radio gig, I could smell a story brewing.
I wrote this entry entitled Humble Howard, Are You Okay? that night and the very next day, a Saturday, the news appeared in the National Post. Mix 99.9 had fired Humble Howard and those searches I detected were likely from some of the people in the know, searching for leaks. Little did they know that their search for leaks would in fact cause such a leak.
Over the next few months, as people hit the web searching for Humble Howard status updates and further news on their favourite morning man, that entry I wrote became a place for people to pay homage to Humble for seventeen great years. They came to chastise Mix 99.9 management, to wish Humble well and to say thanks. The 394 comments left on that entry are the most left on any of my 6256 entries to date.
I remember writing that entry one year ago today. It was done completely on a whim, and I almost didn't write it at all. Eleven days later I first heard from Humble himself, we chatted on the phone and hit it off instantly. We've been pals ever since.
I asked Humble Howard if he was okay. I'm happy to report, one year later, he definitely is.
If you're a Humble Howard fan wondering why he hasn't updated HumbleHoward.com since Friday, it's because of a server-side technical issue the hosting company is working on as we speak.
When he's back in publishing mode we'll see if he responds to this embarrassment.
On Friday night, I heard "Jays To The Top" for the first time. This was a song that appeared on the new and improved Blue Jays compilation that was released in 1991. "Jays To The Top" was performed by my buddy Humble Howard Glassman back when he was at CFNY.
After a couple of listens, I was cringing at how bad this song was. I started to think it might be a way for me to make a quick buck. I left Humble Howard a voice mail in which I threatened to share this song with the world if he didn't pay me $10,000 in cash. If he didn't cough up the coin, I'd release "Jays To The Top" to the masses and destroy any credibility he has left.
Humble called me this afternoon refusing to pay and daring me to share it. He thinks it's pretty good, or at least not bad. He informed me it was based on a 1974 hit by Reunion called "Life Is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)" and he did the same sort of spoof for the Habs when he was working on the radio in Montreal.
Because Humble refused to pay, here's "Jays To The Top". Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is...
Now that Humble Howard has discovered Gtalk, we've had some deep, intellectual discussions via this progressive communications tool.
Last night, we chatted. Here's the transcript. It's pretty raw, and quite revealing, so consider yourselves warned.
8:00 PM Toronto Mike: you got gill deacon cancelled!
8:16 PM Howard: eat me nerdlinger
8:16 PM Toronto Mike: and it's Gill, not Gil!
8:18 PM Howard: boon, where'd ya go?
8:18 PM Toronto Mike: you logged off for a second
8:18 PM Howard: I did'n't mean too. ya ass.
8:18 PM Toronto Mike: did you get my "it's Gill, not Gil"?
8:19 PM Howard: no. but then your humour is not all access.
8:18 PM Toronto Mike: no wonder she got cancelled, even her guests don't know her name
8:18 PM Toronto Mike: did you fly today?
8:18 PM Howard: yes. very bumpy. at one point we had 1000fpm updrafts.
8:20 PM Howard: fmp means feet per minute
8:20 PM Toronto Mike: oh, b/c I thought they might have cancelled your flight
8:20 PM Howard: hahahahahah your funny even though your not a jew
8:20 PM Toronto Mike: you're not a jew
8:20 PM Toronto Mike: see - show that to Randee - it's proof!
8:20 PM Howard: your not a jew either!
8:21 PM Howard: okay i'm stumped. what the fuck are you talking about?
8:21 PM Toronto Mike: your vs. you're
8:21 PM Howard: ahh. eat jew-ass.
8:21 PM Toronto Mike: I'm partially jewish, they cut my wiener
8:22 PM Toronto Mike: I feel your people's pain
8:22 PM Howard: Lack of Foreskin does not a jewy make. your pretty funny thoug.
8:22 PM Howard: and you have suffered ..what with the leafs...40 years-40 years
8:22 PM Toronto Mike: you're right, we don't invite family to watch it
8:22 PM Howard: okay im bored now with typing ..
8:23 PM Toronto Mike: you did it again
8:23 PM Howard: okay i'm back.
8:23 PM Howard: i was refreshing something.
8:23 PM Toronto Mike: you have much to learn young jedi
8:23 PM Toronto Mike: your google fu is weak
8:23 PM Howard: btw on webalizer I had over two thousand visits today...cool huh.
8:23 PM Howard: your google fu suck donkey dick
8:23 PM Toronto Mike: go to mikeboon.com and watch pulp muppets
8:24 PM Howard: okay. I'm going to go now. your a good lad. btw how bout the pictures (Flickr) of tucker boning the slipper. GOLD!
8:25 PM Toronto Mike: that was good stuff
8:25 PM Toronto Mike: btw, according to webalizer I had 5214 visits yesterday
8:25 PM Howard: i'm watching the muppet htin
8:25 PM Howard: thing
8:26 PM Howard: you had 5214 but my visits were quality.
8:26 PM Toronto Mike: maybe
8:26 PM Howard: maybe my ass. my people love me, yours are just a quirk of google ranking. yes I used google ranking in a sentence. you have taught me much master
8:27 PM Toronto Mike: ok, your 17 years on the radio might have given you a slight edge over Toronto Mike...
8:28 PM Howard: nahhh .dude your the best and we all just bask in your shadow.
8:28 PM Howard: raptors win friday night?
8:28 PM Toronto Mike: it feels good to finally hear the truth
8:28 PM Toronto Mike: raptors will win
8:28 PM Howard: okay douche. I gotta go. I have grown up bizness to attend to.
8:28 PM Howard: later,
8:29 PM Toronto Mike: later
This morning, I was hanging with Humble Howard at his place and I decided to snap a few pics of his stuff. Here's the photoset, if you're curious.
The dude makes a good cup of coffee and Mrs. Humble lays out a mean breakfast spread. There's good tunage, too, as Humble plays Cohen's Hallelujah on piano and his daughter Spencer sings like an angel. There's a major chill factor there, no foolin'.
Checking my RSS feeds this morning, I saw a new entry on Humble Howard's blog that really spoke to me. The title, "Ripping Mike Boon off, Again!", had me highly intrigued.
In this entry Humble Howard admits to reading this blog throughout the day, borrowing from it and appreciating my help with his blog. This is where it gets rather surreal. In the blogosphere, Humble Howard is a Toronto Mike fan. I am a blogging mentor of sorts. Humble rips material off of me.
For all of the 1990s, I only listened to one morning show on the radio. I was a Humble & Fred fan, tuning into CFNY for both the music and the banter. I was a Humble Howard fan, borrowing material from him and checking in with him daily.
I'm still a Humble fan, but now it's a nice mutual love-in that exists both on-line and off. I'm hanging with the dude on Saturday and he's promised to brew me some of that New Orleans gold. Yo Humble! You can rip me off any time.
Last week Humble and I were trying to pick a day to hook up. Not that kind of hook up, but the old school hang out hook up. He advised me that this week would be tough because of his spiritual time.
I assumed he was talking about Passover and replied "oh that Jewish thing". He laughed. He wasn't talking about Passover. He was referring to a certain golf tournament taking place at the Augusta National Golf Club.
It was pretty funny but you probably had to be there.
Fred Patterson, or Freddie P as he's often called, was/is one half of the Humble & Fred radio show. He's been maintaining FreddieP.ca with a site building tool called SiteStudio and he's been leaving blog-like entries on his page on a daily basis. Every once in a while, he deletes the older entries, which has always irked me.
This weekend, I've been working on Freddie P's new blog. I helped him buy a new hosting package, I installed and configured Movable Type for him and now I'm working on the design of his new site. We spoke on the phone last night and he asked that a number of elements from his current site be brought over. To make Fred (and his wife) happy, I've mimicked the old font style, brought back his triangle menu icons and kept his colour pattern. As soon as he's ready to rock, we'll update the DNS name servers, let propagation take place and Fred will be updating his new blog in Movable Type.
For fans of Fred's rants and raves, this means you'll be able to leave comments, link to entry permalinks, subscribe to his RSS feed, view monthly and category archives and search his site for particular keywords. In other words, it's a real blog which will also please the search engines and will most definitely increase traffic.
If you want to be like Freddie P, let me know. This Movable Type installation and configuration and blog design thing is something I do, ya dig? I'll even teach you how to use this dynamic tool and manage your blog. Contact me if you want to talk about it.
While we were recording the podcast of love, Humble Howard shared a story about his friend Lou Schizas, an analyst for Report on Business Television. According to Lou, there's a particular make of sock that's like fellatio for your feet. Okay, he didn't say fellatio but used a term with the initials bj instead. The point was clear, these were special socks.
Howard gave me a pair and I'm wearing them today for the first time. They're fine socks in an ideal colour, but are they worthy of the aforementioned claim?
I just returned from a Sunday morning at Dan Duran's house where Humble Howard and Fred Patterson recorded their third podcast. This one is the Valentine's Day Podcast of Love, so we'll have to have it up at humbleandfred.com by February 14.
This time there was no Bingo Bob or Scary Pete, just the guys and yours truly. As usual, the banter was natural and funny and the discussions ranged from Bill Carroll to Karla Homolka and Anna Nicole Smith. Oh yeah, and there was a very interesting revelation about Moses Znaimer and a hilarious comment from Dan regarding the high hard one you won't want to miss.
I'll let you know when the audio is ready for your ears. A photoset of pics from the day can be found here.
"Wanna come to CFRB with me? It might be good for shits and giggles". That was Humble Howard's offer yesterday afternoon. As luck would have it, my Monday night was open and I was in the mood for shits and giggles. We agreed to meet outside 2 St. Clair Ave West at 7:45pm.
We burned an hour having coffee at the joint across the street before we entered the domain of Standard Broadcasting. This was his office before he was canned, so there was that extra element of awkwardness. We were met in the lobby by Richard the producer of the Jim Richards show and I was introduced as the embedded journalist. I love that title.
I got a tour of the on-air section and met Freeway Frank who was on the air at 99.9 MIX FM and a genuine nice guy. He's commented on this site before and even knew Toronto Mike. He was working in the studio where the Humble & Fred show was broadcast from, which made it even more eery. There was also EZ Rock 97.3, but we didn't go into their studio, and then there was 1010 CFRB.
My mother tells stories of my grandmother working at Laura Secords at St. Clair and Yonge and CFRB personalities like Gordon Sinclair and Betty Kennedy dropping by all the time, but I digress. CFRB has been a big time radio station in this market for a long time, whether we kids like it or not. It was very cool meeting the producer and board op and watching them to their thing while Humble was on the air. Dean, the board op, even answered my many questions about this crazy new medium called radio.
I took pictures, and you can see the photoset here. Jim Richards, who I sincerely think is a very funny man, was laid back cool, although we didn't get a chance to chat long. He was sorta busy workin'. The interview itself seemed to go well and Humble managed to drop a promo for this very site, which was cool. I'll share the interview here later.
At the end of the day, I enjoyed a lot of shits and giggles, and that was the point, wasn't it?
If you head on over to humbleandfred.com this morning, you'll see a new look and a new podcast.
In addition to the hour long show there's a shorter RAW file of naughty outtakes that are NSFW. Up until last night I was using a rather embarrassing shot of the boys as Sunshine Boys as the main picture. A sick and weary Humble Howard called me yesterday and begged me to remove that shot and replace it with anything else. Little did he know I chose the teal colour scheme to match Fred's shorts from the Sunshine Girl spread.
When delirious from a fever, it's wise not to blog. You should also refrain from commenting on the blogs of others. No, I'm not feverish, but Humble Howard was when he left three comment on this entry.
The comments got a giggle out of me. Here they are.
Humble
January 17, 2007 / 17:05
Uhhh yeah. Big response so far?
I will say this even though Mike Boon wasn't in the room this time the show was actually dedicated to him...you just have to listen carefully for that.
Mike Boon is soley responsible for anything you may like on the Humble and Fred Podcast of Hope, 2007.
Hh
humble
January 17, 2007 / 17:08
I left a comment, it was funny, now I can't see it.
I also can't remember what I said. I don't feel well.
H
humble
January 17, 2007 / 17:10
Okay, Now I can see it.
I have to go and lay down now.
I listened to the PodCasty thing this afternoon and I found it somewhat humourous, of course I've got some bug and I'm sweating like a Heroin Addict.
hh
That reminds me. The Humble & Fred Message of Hope 2007 podcast is only four days away. Here's the obligatory photoset, even though I wasn't there and didn't take these pics. I have heard the podcast, however, and it is funny.
As I mentioned on the weekend, there will be the podcast and bonus raw NSFW audio. When I showed Humble the new site, he asked me what NSFW meant. Is there anyone out there who doesn't know what NSFW means?
The 17th Annual Humble & Fred Christmas Podcast was an attempt to capture the essence of the Humble & Fred radio show and share it as a podcast. We went live with that show on December 22, 2006 and it was very well received.
Last Thursday, the guys returned to Dan Duran's house to record a Message of Hope 2007 show. I couldn't make it because of work obligations, but I was asked to make it all happen online again.
At some point next week, HumbleandFred.com will look quite different and will be streaming this new show. I've already permanently archived the Christmas show at http://www.humbleandfred.com/christmas2006/. I'll let you know when the new podcast is live on the home page.
I hear it's pretty funny (Dan's still polishing the production). We're even going to share a NSFW outtakes file for those of you over the age of 18. Stay tuned H + F fans...
Yikes, it's New Year's Eve. Time is running out. I can't promote a holiday podcast much longer!
If you haven't heard it yet, head on over to humbleandfred.com, click play and hear what all the fuss was about. Even if you've never heard of Humble and Fred, you must be curious what this 17th Annual Humble & Fred Gift of Christmas Podcast thing is. Aren't you?
If you need another reason to give it a listen, do it because it's free. The next podcast will cost $999.99 a download.
Here's our second last Humble and Fred holiday promo of the season. On a Christmas Eve afternoon, what would be better than thinking about Santa kissing Humble and Fred?
By the way, the 17th Annual Humble and Fred Christmas Show podcast continues...
Plan A was to have Odeo host it all. We have their player embedded on the page for streaming and the podcast and MP3 link were pointing to the file on Odeo's servers. All week long the tests were successful until last night when I noticed Odeo's servers were sputtering. It would work, then it wouldn't work. It would have a good hour and then a bad hour. I quickly went to Plan B, hosting the file at Filelodge, but I kept the Odeo player in the hopes that it would work itself out.
I'm now looking for a Plan C. If you have tons of bandwidth at your disposal and don't mind hosting a popular 42MB file, please let me know.
If you have any technical questions about subscribing to the podcast or hearing the show, leave a comment here. Consider this the Gift of Xmas technical support page.
Oh yeah, enjoy the show. It'll be up through the end of the year.
If you're wondering if every article in The Toronto Star makes it online, the answer is no. Today, for instance, there's a quick SPOTLIGHT mention of the 17th Annual Humble and Fred Christmas Podcast on page A31, but it didn't find its way to thestar.com.
In that lengthy account of the morning's festivities I failed to mention my favourite moment. During a break Humble picked up a guitar and started playing the Barenaked Ladies' "Brian Wilson", one of my favourite BNL tunes. Scary Pete was on vocals and I captured some video with Fred's digital camera which kept crashing on me. By the end of the song we were all singing along at the top of our lungs. It's a great sing-along song, and we were all doing our best Steven Page impressions. The chill factor was through the roof.
If you were too lazy to read my lengthy recollection of the 17th Annual Humble & Fred Christmas Show recording, you can listen to this little promo Dan Duran cooked up.
I was lucky enough to be a little slice of broadcast history this weekend. Regular visitors to this site have seen me write about The Humble & Fred radio show. It began in 1989 on CFNY-FM (later renamed Edge 102) and was the morning show I awoke to until it moved to Mojo 640 in April 2001. The team was broken up in the summer of 2005 when Fred Patterson was relieved of his duties at Mix 99.9. In July 2006, Humble Howard experienced the same cruel fate.
For many a Humble & Fred fan, their annual Christmas show was a highlight of the season. This Christmas marked the first time in seventeen years that neither was on the radio. The Humble & Fred Christmas Show was dead... or was it? I received a call on the QT from Humble on December 8th in which we discussed the logistics of recording a Christmas show and sharing it at humbleandfred.com. On December 10th I wrote a plan of a attack and received a late night call from Humble indicating it was a definite go. I threw a temporary countdown page at humbleandfred.com and was told to be at Dan Duran's house on December 16 at 10:30 in the morning. I was going to be the embedded journalist as history unfolded.
It had been well over a year since the two conversed on the mic as they had daily for over sixteen years, so I knew this was something special. I was also a fan of their folksy charm and humour that never failed to make me laugh. I charged the battery of my digital camera and made the short stroll to Dan's house yesterday morning unsure of what to expect but certain I'd be witnessing something extraordinary.
In addition to Dan Duran who was producing the show in his home office, his wife and son were mingling about when I showed up. Soon thereafter, Humble Howard arrived with his daughter Spencer, followed by Fred Patterson, Scary Bald Headed Pete (who is no longer bald) and Bingo Bob. Dan, Pete and Bob were all former producers of the Humble & Fred show making me the one person in the room who had never appeared on the radio show. My plan was to not pollute the process, take it all in and snap a ton of pictures.
The first thing I noticed was how natural and genuine it all seemed. There was some discussion about how it would all unfold, some audio checks and arrangement of the non-live material and then it was show time. It was all so slick, Humble and Fred anticipated each other so well, it was like watching a couple that's been together so long they finish each other's sentences. Even better, it's totally organic. No scripts, no second takes, just a natural flow that's both endearing and hilarious. The warm and fuzzy nature of the hour long show is perfect for this time of year. The Baileys Irish Creme in the coffee didn't hurt either. By the end of the show, Dan's wife was literally preparing martinis. It was the most fun you can have on a Saturday morning without taking your clothes off.
The show itself included a frank discussion about what transpired since Mix 99.9, a recollection of Christmas shows past, some great performances by The Doo Wops and Barenaked Ladies, the annual favourite "Snow Removal Machine" and a number of great Humble & Fred exchanges that make you scratch your head and wonder why these two are still out of work.
On the morning of December 22, the 17th Annual Humble & Fred Christmas Show will be available at humbleandfred.com. You will be able to stream it from the site or download the MP3. If you were ever a fan of the Humble & Fred morning show, or if you're just curious what all the fuss is about and in the holiday spirit, you're going to want to check this out.
Throughout the broadcast yesterday morning I was overwhelmed with this tingling feeling that had nothing to do with Baileys or Jackie's martinis. A large media company forced Humble and Fred off of their airwaves ending a seventeen year run in Canada's largest market. Without a time slot on terrestrial or satellite radio, the Christmas show survived. Think of the Grinch stealing all the Christmas trees and presents in Whoville. The Whos' holiday spirit could not be crushed just as Humble and Fred's voice could not be silenced. You can take their jobs, but they belong to us.
HumbleandFred.com looks awfully cryptic this morning. Head on over and check it out. There's a count down, currently showing 9 days, 21 hours, 53 minutes, and 33 seconds left.
What are they counting down to? What's happening over there on the morning of the 22nd? What's with that creepy picture?
If you've never heard of Humble and Fred, this series of holiday themed jingles from the duo must be boring the crap out of you. They were on the air in this market for seventeen years and it was their morning show that woke me up every weekday morning of the 1990s.
Here is the best rendition of Little Drummer Boy since Bing Crosby met David Bowie.
I mentioned I'll be sharing all fourteen holiday season Humble and Fred radio show promo bits I have throughout this month. This jingle is a spin on Little Town of Bethlehem.
I mentioned I'll be sharing all fourteen holiday season Humble and Fred radio show promo bits I have throughout this month. This jingle is a spin on Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.
I mentioned I'll be sharing all fourteen holiday season Humble and Fred radio show promo bits I have throughout this month. Here's another one, a mock of Carol of the Bells.
Freddie P had a nice little entry on his blog about MOJO Radio, which launched seven years ago this week. 640 on your AM dial, it was billed as talk radio for guys, and Humble Howard and Fred Patterson moved over from CFNY to work the morning shift.
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My pal and partner in crime (more on that soon) Freddie P has 
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Fred Patterson, one half of the former morning show tandem of Humble & Fred, wrote an entry on his blog this morning about 
Today, a couple of my world's collided. Seinfeld fans understand the importance of keeping the world's apart, but I've failed to follow George's good advice.
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As I wrote last week, 
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For over a year I've been trying to get Humble Howard to tell me what look he likes for his blog. We modelled a look that resembled the cover of his book "The Slime That Men Do" but it's been in need of refreshing for a while now.
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As promised, here's a bunch of old Christmas bumpers heard on the Humble & Fred Morning Show. Share this link with fans of the show and help make it a Humble and Fred Christmas after all.
Now that both Humble and Fred have publicly stated it, I can finally write this entry. There will be no 18th Annual Humble & Fred Christmas show. Not on the radio or in podcast form. After 17 years, this annual Toronto tradition has come to an end.
The tickets actually belong to former Toronto Maple Leaf Stew Gavin, but he gave them to Gavin Management Group client Humble Howard who took me along for the ride. I wasn't just going to a Leafs game, I was getting a chance to hang in the Alumni Lounge.
I spent Saturday morning at Humble Howard's place where he showed me some cool Blackberry shortcuts, we discussed potential Internet ventures and I got to hear all about his top secret wheelings and dealings with Insight that very well could make him the next Simon Cowell. Unfortunately, I'm sworn to secrecy and he'll withdraw the Leafs tickets he's offered me for next Saturday if I even drop a hint as to what the show he's pitching is all about.
Humble Howard Glassman and I were just chatting, and he spilt a few more beans about his role in Repo! The Genetic Opera!.
One year ago today I detected a series of searches bringing people to this site. These searches were for statements like "humble howard fired" or "humble howard fired from mix". The first thing I did was check the local news outlets for word that Humble had been canned. Even though there was no evidence that Humble Howard was out of a radio gig, I could smell a story brewing.
Now that Humble Howard has discovered Gtalk, we've had some deep, intellectual discussions via this progressive communications tool.
When I was last at 
Checking my RSS feeds this morning, I saw 
Last week 
Happy Valentine's Day! Humble and Fred's Valentine's Day Podcast of Love is now available at 
While we were 
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A few minutes before nine this morning, we went live with 
If you're wondering if every article in The Toronto Star makes it online, the answer is no. Today, for instance, there's a quick SPOTLIGHT mention of 
