One unexpected perk in driving this new car for ten days is getting a chance to sample Sirius satellite radio. The first morning I popped over to Sirius to give it a listen, I shot straight for channel 100. That's the Howard Stern station.

At some point after Humble & Fred left 102.1 for Mojo, I found myself spending more and more time listening to Howard Stern on Buffalo's WBUF 92.9. The show was simulcast here in Toronto on Q107, but I always found Q107 censored more of the show and aired longer commercials than they did on WBUF.

Before I had ever heard a minute of Stern's radio show, I saw him on the big screen, catching "Private Parts" at the Uptown theatre. I loved the film, loved the radio show and seriously considered (no pun intended) coughing up the coin for satellite at the end of 2005.

For the first time in over two and a half years, I heard the show. It still sounds great and it still makes me laugh my ass off. The addition of George Takei and the uncensored production just makes things better. I don't know which I'll miss more, the awesome Sync technology or Sirius radio.

Oh yeah, there were other great stations too, but I found myself always returning to channel 100. Hey now!

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When radio host Don Imus referred to the Rutgers University women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hos", his face got plastered all over the media. There are Imus articles on every site, he's on CNN and everyone's got an opinion on whether he should be canned or not.

Everything I know about Don Imus I learnt from Howard Stern. Stern hates Imus and this hate on goes back to his NBC radio days when they worked together. The Imus character shows up in "Private Parts" and when I listened to Stern it was a frequent rant. If it wasn't for Howard Stern, I'd have had no idea who Imus was before this controversy exploded.

I no longer hear Howard Stern's radio show, but I was naturally curious what he's been saying about this Imus mess. This article gave me a taste and even included some quotes from the king of all media. If you're curious about Stern's current state of schadenfreude, read on.

• "He does nothing. He mumbles, he can't speak English, he can't be understood. He was never funny. You listen to the show, I defy you to laugh."
• "He's completely insane."
• "Go away. Really. It's time."
• "There's probably a 70 percent chance [CBS Radio and MSNBC are] going to have to fire this guy.... He's in for a shitstorm because the girl's basketball team is going to have a press conference, and that's going to look real bad."
• "I guarantee you the wife leaves him. If he loses his job, she leaves him within a year. [And if that happens,] I will leave Beth to fuck her."
• "If it was me and I did something stupid like that I would just go on and say, 'I'm not going on Al Sharpton's show. Al Sharpton is a piece of shit. He's just a human being that is bankrupt, and he should pay his bills.... I would rather just leave the radio than apologize to that man.... I like Al Sharpton, by the way."
• "I mean, come on, Al Sharpton. Imus, get some fucking dignity."
• "I've never seen a 67-year-old guy look that bad."
• "Imus is a moron."
• "Imus had a perfectly nice life, he had no listeners. No one ever bothered him. Now all of a sudden he's getting all this attention, he's cracking. He handled that like shit."
• "How is Imus on the radio? Do you understand a word he says?"
• "He looks awful. How old is Imus for real? Doesn't he look 80?"

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Howard Stern, the man who said he would never again marry, is getting married. He proposed last night to Beth Ostrosky, his girlfriend of the past six years.

Stern is a master manipulator of the media, and another Howard Stern has been in the news lately for all the wrong reasons. Howard K. Stern was married to Anna Nicole Smith and with her death his name was all over the press, sometimes with the "K" omitted.

I don't mean to be overly cynical here, but it's no secret shock jock Howard Stern hated the other Howard Stern being all over the press because many confused the two. Announcing an unlikely engagement to 34 year old Beth O was a slick move that will clear up any confusion about which Howard was married to Anna Nicole and named in the paternity suit.

When Howard K. Stern is implicated in Anna Nicole's death, Beth O will just have to announce she's expecting.

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Sirius Canada will add Howard Stern to its lineup starting next week. This is a reversal of an earlier decision. I don't understand why he was left off the Canadian lineup in the first place.

I was forced to find an alternative way of hearing Stern's show, and I've been enjoying it every morning for weeks now. That's all I'm going to say on the subject.

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Howard Stern Don't Bleeping Miss This - In 44 minutes Yahoo! is covering the Howard Stern festivities on the streets of New York as he concludes his career on terrestrial radio.

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While we slept last night, it snowed in Toronto. That meant a morning of shoveling and slower-than-normal traffic. Creeping along a highway can be hell, but I didn't mind. I was enjoying the Howard Stern radio show.

I've got five more mornings of this and then I'm S.O.L. Five more mornings of Stern on WBUF and then he's off to Sirius, but only in America. He's not part of the initial Sirius Canada lineup which means there's really no way I can continue to enjoy his program.

Helping someone forget they're battling deranged drivers in slippery, icy snow during a painful commute to work is a truly priceless service. Five more mornings and counting...

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Sirius Canada announced their 100 channel lineup the other day. Here are some quotes from the CBC write up about the story.

Music channels on Sirius Canada's lineup will include U.K. music from BBC Radio 1, Stephen Van Zandt's Underground Garage, Jimmy Buffet's Radio Margaritaville and Eminem's Shade 45.

Sports channels will include three dedicated play-by-play stations for NHL, NBA and NFL games as well as ESPN News.

News services include National Public Radio Now, Bloomberg Radio, CNN and BBC World News.

Martha Stewart Living Radio, Laugh Break, Maxim Radio and E! Entertainment Radio are among the other offerings.

Controversial but popular DJ Howard Stern, who joins Sirius Satellite Radio in the U.S. in January, will not be in the initial Canadian lineup, according to Sirius Canada.

Back in June when the CRTC first approved satellite radio in Canada, I wrote that a key difference between Canada and the USA would prevent Canada from ever hearing an uncensored Howard Stern radio show. Whereas the FCC in the United States doesn't police satellite radio the way they do terrestrial radio, the CRTC here treats them both the same. As I wrote back in June, this is bullshit. Adults will subscribe to the service and buy special hardware to receive the signal. Considering these facts, a subscriber would be well aware as to what kind of content they will be exposed to, which may or may not include a little "obscene or profane language".

At least this eliminates a decision I was due to make in approximately eight weeks.

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The other day Infinity Broadcasting Corporation's chairman and CEO Joel Hollander hosted a conference call in which he announced who or what would be replacing Howard Stern in the mornings in their 27 markets. I've been listening to Howard Stern since his show first launched on Q107 and when they dumped him for John Derringer I found Howard on Buffalo's 92.9.

During this conference call, Hollander made the following statement about Stern's replacements on Infinity. "Twenty-four hours of farting and mental illness, you won't get that here." Somebody is either bitter or simply doesn't get it.

I don't listen to Stern to hear farting or to laugh at someone's mental illness. I'm not there every morning to hear lesbians or strippers either. Those who haven't listened or simply wish to denounce his show as immoral trash are quick to harp on these points as proof his show is guttural when in reality it's quite the opposite. I don't have the interest, time or patience to listen to a show like that, and Howard Stern's morning show isn't a show like that.

Howard is the great communicator of our time. The way he relates to his audience and tells stories drenched in honesty and full of integrity is unmatched. A great deal is quite funny, but the show is at its best when it's simply Howard riffing, spontaneously talking with us. It's absolutely compelling and it has nothing to do with "farting and mental illness".

They can fill his morning time slots with the likes of Adam Carolla and David Lee Roth, but they can't replace Howard Stern. I've never heard anyone like him and I strongly doubt there's another Howard Stern out there. With Stern's 27 Infinity stations expected to lose $100 million in revenue without him and with only five per cent of his estimated 12 million listeners planning to stick with his ex-stations once he leaves for Sirius, I suppose you can't blame Hollander for being bitter.

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Matthew McGrory was 32. He was the deep-voiced 7-foot-plus actor who moved from appearances on Howard Stern's radio show to a high-profile role as a gentle giant in the movie "Big Fish."

As a fan of Stern's morning show, I was well aware of Big Foot, but "Big Fish" earned him a special place in my heart. That movie really struck a nerve with me, in a very, very good way. I can watch it over and over again and be deeply affected each and every time. Big Foot was Karl the Giant, and he was befriended by a young Ed Bloom. It was an exceptional performance and one that I will never forget.

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I love the idea of satellite radio. Dozens and dozens of stations for every taste, sounding great and without the inane commercials. Furthermore, Howard Stern is heading that way at the end of the year and I've been a big fan for a decade now.

Today, the CRTC made their landmark decision and approved satellite radio. This is good news, but read the decision and you'll find the following paragraph under "Adherence to the Regulations and Industry Codes".

The Commission notes that both CSR and Sirius Canada committed to be accountable for the content of the programming contained on all Canadian and non-Canadian channels distributed by their undertakings. In this regard, the applicants have undertaken not to broadcast anything in contravention of the law, any abusive comment, or any obscene or profane language. CSR and Sirius Canada have also committed to adhere to the Canadian Association of Broadcasters' (CAB) Sex-Role Portrayal Code for Television and Radio Programming, and CSR has further committed to abide by the CAB's Broadcast Code for Advertising to Children. Accordingly, the Commission has imposed conditions of licence requiring adherence to the relevant sections of the Radio Regulations, and to the aforementioned codes. The Commission notes that both applicants committed to take whatever action is necessary to ensure adherence to the regulations and codes including, if necessary, the removal of a channel from their program offerings.

It appears as if the content on satellite radio will be regulated the same as it is currently on terrestrial radio. In the United States, Howard Stern's jump was to avoid the FCC as satellite radio there is essentially a safe haven for explicit content and language. Up here, it doesn't sound like that's the case which means the new Sirius radio Howard Stern show can't air here uncensored. Canadian subscribers to the Sirius/CBC offering won't hear the Howard Stern show that airs in the United States, if we hear it at all.

Satellite radio will be a paid service. Adults will subscribe to the service and buy special hardware to receive the signal. Considering these facts, a subscriber would be well aware as to what kind of content they will be exposed to, which may or may not include a little "obscene or profane language". We're big boys and girls, I'm pretty sure we can censor the content ourselves. The CRTC has over extended their bounds, grossly encroaching upon our freedom to subscribe to satellite radio and hear an F-bomb or two.

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