Keswick Virgin

Published by Toronto Mike on September 20, 2008 @ 12:02 in Miscellaneous

carI have never been to Keswick, Ontario. That's right, I've lived in Toronto for all of my 34 years yet I've never set foot in the Town of Georgina.

Today, that streak comes to a grinding halt as I've been invited to a BBQ in the birthplace of Curtis Joseph. And yes, I'm familiar with all the Keswick jokes and slightly concerned that I'll be turned away at the Keswick border for having too many teeth.

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14 Responses to "Keswick Virgin"

Megan
September 20, 2008 / 16:49

Good luck to ya! I'm sure you won't be in "the bad part" so you should be fine. Actually it's not so bad anymore even though it was the murder capital of the world at one moment in time. I live just south of Keswick in East Gwillimbury.

Roshan
September 22, 2008 / 11:45

When I hear Keswick, I think Cujo. Granted I don't hear about Keswick a lot.

Annemarie
September 24, 2008 / 15:08

My "boss" lives there & commutes in everyday. I have a 7-10 min./no highway commute. In this city, location is key, even before salary for me.

spek
August 31, 2009 / 10:42

fuck you buddy we all have teeth and you talk like that when you get down here and you'll leave with a broken jaw enjoy yourself

Andrew
March 28, 2010 / 16:19

Sounds like a nice bunch of guys up Keswick way! How's your jaw? LOL

unfortunate
May 20, 2010 / 11:38

Honestly, if anyone is going to try and defend Keswick in any way you've clearly lost any of your remaining brain cells. I had the misfortune of spending 17 years of my adolescence in that godforsaken shit hole, and I'm never going back. The amount of girls I know who are under the age of 18 and are pregnant blows my mind, the fact that over 50% of those pregnancies are due to rape. I have never seen so many sketched out crackheads lurking despirately around a tim hortons, sitting next to them, of course, the entire student body -- destined for greatness. not.
I mean, despite it being the one time murder capital, I have witnessed first hand bodies be dragged out of sheds, police officers vommiting on the side of the road in dismay over a burnt corpse in a forest across from the macs convineince store on the queensway.
For fuck sakes people, this town is a hole. I'm pretty sure if a Zombie outbreak every happened, it would be from some poor fuck in keswick. My family still lives there, and every day I wish them the best that they not be attacked by some toothless creep lurking in the shadows. And to buddy who claimed you all have teeth, no you fucking dont. I can send you my year book if you need something to reference. or just hit up mcluskys, i think they total maaaaybe a full set of teeth on a good night.
Good day to you.

son
December 30, 2010 / 01:31

you dumb fuck you got no idea there are sketched out rapists everywhere if you knew anything you would know it only had the highest murder rate per capita and thats because it was such a small town there was only three or four that year. if you see how many we've had in the past thirty years it would equal one year for toronto you gotta realize keswick is like anywhere else your only in as much danger as you put yourself in and its alot harder to find trouble in keswick then in a big city with actual gangs yeah we have hell's angels but its not like their gonna fuck with you unless you fuck with them and why the fuck would you do that? think about it peace queer

donny
March 7, 2011 / 14:33

ok that was keswick 30 years ago
most of the pepole from toronto
have moved here so your pretty
much making fun of yourself

donny
March 7, 2011 / 14:33

ok that was keswick 30 years ago
most of the pepole from toronto
have moved here so your pretty
much making fun of yourself

unknown
August 9, 2011 / 15:31

for fuck sakes I hate Keswick. I have lived here for just over a year. I am from Toronto and seriously this town is total shit. All of the under age girls getting knocked up because they think its cool to be a teenage redneck having a baby. It must be the water...all everyone does here is sit in their garages, drink beer smoke pot and have hoedowns. Kill me now LMAO. And even seeing the graduation rate of one of the high schools is dangerously low. Thats how you can tell that many people from here are stupid with their lack of smarts

Anonymous
November 2, 2011 / 08:01

I am an educated 28 year old mother living in Keswick, raising my growing family. All of these outrageous posts make my 'home' look bad. Please, young people, keep your rude comments to yourself. Keswick has always had a bad rep, and I'm not going to lie, there are some rough patches, but our town is evolving into quite a gem. I've lived here for 25 of my 28 years and love my community.

Anonymous
January 3, 2012 / 12:22

talk shit and get blown up ahahah

Anonymoose
February 22, 2012 / 12:18

At least it's not Sutton.

Fuck Toronto
April 16, 2012 / 01:29

I've lived in Keswick my whole life (22 years) have all my teeth, played university sports, graduated with a 90 average and lived in big cities. In my experience keswick is great. I don't know why everyone here is bashing on Keswick. Personally I have never met a pregnant underage girl in this town from rape, never seen these so called corpses everyone else has seen, never met a hells angel, never went to a hoedown and i feel safer walking around Keswick at night than another city. And no I don't stay in all the time or only go out during the day, Keswick just isn't as horrible as everyone thinks.

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