How to Talk Blue Jays Baseball With Bob McCown
Published May 2, 2008 @ 18:49 in Radio, Toronto Blue Jays
Dave just left an awesome comment on my Bob McCown vs. Bill Watters entry. It's a list of 8 things you should do if you want to talk baseball with Bob McCown, host of Prime Time Sports of The Fan 590. I like this list because it's both well written and pretty accurate.
Want to talk baseball with Bob--this city's sports demagogue. Do the following:
1: Refer to the thirty-seven, fifty-nine, or eighty-four third basemen brought in by Ricciardi. It doesn't matter if the real number--excluding subs--is something like three or four. The higher the number, the more Bob likes you.
2: Say something like, "This guy hasn't done/brought in anyone." Bob likes that. Don't mention Lind, Hill, Purcey, Snider, Cecil, Marcum, Litsch, Accardo, Tallet, Downs, etc. Bob doesn't know who they are.
3: Say "I mean," and "C'mon." Say them a lot. Here's a template for you to use when you're talking to the screener: "I mean, c'mon, what' this guy doing. I mean, c'mon. Who's he drafting? C'mon, I mean."
4: Tell Bob that this team "has no one" and could never "make a run." Wells, Rios, Hill, and Overbay are .260/10/70 hitters. Not much they can do over a complete season. "How are they gonna compete with Wells and Hill? They got no one there at the corners. They, I mean, they got no one. I mean, they can't make a run."
5: Ignore everything positive about this team. The fact that they're third in the AL (and 6th in MLB) in team ERA? It doesn't matter. "C'mon, I mean, Wells isn't doing anything. C'mon."
6: Banish logic from your argument. The Jays lost two one-run games to Boston, and have already played ten one-run contests. Since they lost said games, they're awful. Had they won said games (by one run) they'd be a great defensive/pitching team.
7: Pretend that slumps never happen: Say something like, "Stairs is on pace to go .300/15/40 this year."
8: Say something that shows your baseball knowledge. Something like, "My buddies and me were talking baseball. Now we know a lot about the game. We follow it. We're experts, you know. But that there Jays third basemen, that...you know...that guy...oh, I can't remember his name. But I know a lot about baseball. Now I don't like him."
Now you're on. OK. Wind him up, and watch him go.
Sometimes comments are too good to keep buried. This one deserved some front page exposure.
andrew
May 2, 2008 / 20:06
I've played BBall for 10-12 years & I know more about the sport than MR.C. an A$$h0!e.