You thought it would be awesome, but it's not. It's like a Bosh.
The Raptors suck this season. Even die-hards have to admit it. We're 1-7 and look terrible.
When your team is in the dumps, it's fun to hate on other teams. This season, I've decided to root passionately against the Miami Heat. The whole Lebron / Wade / Bosh trifecta has me angry. And Bosh... I'm glad he's struggling. He went from being the guy here in Toronto to being third fiddle in Miami. That tells you all you need to know about his character.
Bosh is facing the Raps on Saturday. It will be fun to root against #4 and his unholy Heat alliance. But first, there's a certain artist formerly known as Air Canada tonight as we face Vince Carter's Magic.
Sweet, sweet schadenfreude.
I'm just coming up for air and catching up with some of the news from this past week. One item on Chris Bosh is really bugging me.
When Bosh signed with Miami, I defended his legacy in a Raptors uniform.
He was our best Raptor for 7 years, and unlike Vince Carter, he never quit on us.
Appearing on the FAN 590, Bryan Colangelo said Bosh wasn't the same player toward the end of the year. In essence, he quit on us.
Colangelo said on Monday's show that whether Bosh was "mentally checked out or, you know, just wasn't quite into it down the stretch, he wasn't the same guy. And I think everybody saw that, just no one wanted to acknowledge it."
I hate quitters.
I've already said goodbye to Chris Bosh. There was no doubt he'd sign elsewhere. His announcement today that he's joining Dwyane Wade in Miami makes it official, but it's hardly a surprise.
I should preface the following by admitting I liked Chris Bosh. I liked him a lot. He was our best Raptor for 7 years, and unlike Vince Carter, he never quit on us. He'd rub me the wrong way with his album promos and DVD sales pitches, but he was a bona fide all-star and he was ours.
But with Chris Bosh as our leader these past seven seasons, our Toronto Raptors won a grand total of 3 playoff games. That's it. 7 years, 3 playoff victories.
It's a good thing Miami still has Dwyane Wade.
Hey Vince, remember me!
I loved you, man. You were our Rookie of the Year, Air Carter, you were our Michael Jordan. I was at your 51 point game against the Suns. I cheered the loudest when you won the slam dunk competition. I busted a television when you missed the buzzer-beating three in game seven against the 76ers and I constantly defended you when others called you lazy, fragile or worse. You remember me now, don't you?
Here are a few entries I wrote about you. As you'll see, there were peaks, followed by a rather deep valley. I'll let you catch up on our tumultuous history before I get to the point of this letter.
- The EA Sports Jinx - October 2, 2003 @ 12:53: I'm concerned that Carter is on the cover of EA's NBA Live 2004. There is that jinx and I want Carter to stay healthy.
- Mike's Mailbag - October 29, 2003 @ 15:03: I inaccurately predict the Raptors will make the playoffs in 2003/2004. I add a caveat that Carter must remain healthy for this to happen.
- Vintage Vincent - November 27, 2003 @ 08:04: I'm gushing over the great Vince Carter after he scores 43 and carries the Raps on his back. I also reminisce about the 51 point game of his I attended.
- Not In-Vince-able - January 17, 2004 @ 14:00: Carter injures himself once again and I brace for the worst. I even compare him to Wendel Clark.
- Mr. Popular - January 30, 2003 @ 11:09: Carter leads the league in all-star votes for the fourth time and I try to figure out why he's so damn popular.
- Guest Blog Entry - January 30, 2004 @ 15:45: For the first time, I publicly admit in this space that Vince could be traded. I also admit that he's not the second coming of Michael Jordon. "If you had brought up the subject of trading Vince Carter a couple of years ago, I would have laughed in your face."
- It. Is. Over. - March 27, 2004 @ 11:04: I was pissed when I wrote this entry. The Raptors were going to miss the playoffs yet again and I knew something had to give.
- Vin-sane - July 2, 2004 @ 09:04: ESPN reports that Carter wants to be traded and I try to digest the news. "Vince is our star and it will hurt to watch him suit up for another team."
- The End of an Era? - July 14, 2004 @ 10:55: Rumours were swirling that Carter was on his way out and I thought we were in the final hours of the Vince Carter era in Toronto. "The writing's on the wall and we have to accept it."
- Carlos and Vince - July 16, 2004 @ 21:37: I found it interesting that it was becoming incredibly likely that both Carlos Delgado and Vince Carter would be leaving Toronto. Still, I held on to a semblance of hope that Carter could stay. "It's entirely possible we're cheering Carter's name on opening night as he stays with the Raps. I'm hoping he does because players with his talent are few and far between."
- Guest Blog Entry - July 20, 2004 @ 14:48: I admit I'm completely torn about the whole Vince Carter saga. "I'd like him to stay, play hard and lead us back to the playoffs where he can shine on a bigger stage."
- My Sports Wishlist - September 22, 2004 @ 08:23: Carter makes my sports wishlist as I wish he'd stop being such a suck, rescind his trade demand and play his ass off.
- 41 Reasons to Kick Ass - November 3, 2004 @ 13:11: The Sporting News ranks Carter the 41st best player in the NBA and I see this as a positive, potentially lighting a much needed fire under Carter's butt. "This gives Carter 41 reasons to kick ass this season."
- More Than 41 - November 23, 2004 @ 07:56: It didn't take long to realize that Vince Carter wasn't going to perform for the Raptors the way Vince Carter can. "When we finally do trade this major disappointment, we'll likely get little of value in return. Then, without a doubt, Carter will kick it up a notch and shoot the lights out for his new team."
- The Vince Carter Era Ends - December 17, 2004 @ 17:36: Vince Carter is traded to the New Jersey Nets. "It's time to move on my friends."
- Vince Carter Is A Dick - January 7, 2005 @ 15:36: What a surprise... Carter actually tries for the Nets and admits he didn't give his all for the Raps. "I used to defend Vince Carter when others wanted to get rid of him. Now, I wish him nothing but the worst. F him"
- Formerly Known As Air Canada - February 22, 2005 @ 12:02: The Raptors first game in New Jersey against Vince. "#15 quit on us and started lighting it up the moment he was out of here. Lets humiliate the bastard."
- NBA Championship Tonight - April 15, 2005 @ 07:52: Vince's first game in Toronto since the big trade. "Go Raps! Beat Vince!"
Vince, you've moved on to the Orlando Magic and you're in the conference final, but you're down 2 games to 0 against the Celtics. Although I'm over you and I've moved on, I'm going to ensure you never win an NBA Championship. It's not going to happen. Not on my watch.
With every vibe in my body and every ounce of my soul I'm hoping karma is a total bitch to you. I can't wait to see you eliminated once more.
Check out this tweet from Chris Bosh's Twitter account earlier this evening.
I'm so glad our franchise player has decided to ask his Twitter followers where he should play next season. He wasn't specific, so I'm not sure if the city with the highest vote total wins his services.
This is the way the Bosh era ends: Not with a bang but a Twitter.
It seems like we were just talking about the Raptors gunning for fourth in the conference and a home court advantage for their first round in the playoffs. For those who don't follow the Raps, we finished ninth in the conference and that means we missed the playoffs for the second season in a row.
At least the Raptors played a playoff game three seasons ago. Our Leafs haven't played a playoff game since 2004. That's five seasons ago and six years. My daughter's about to turn six and she's not been alive for a single Leafs playoff game.
Of course, if we're talking playoff droughts in this city, the Blue Jays are the top dogs. The last Blue Jays playoff game ended with Joe Carter touching them all, and that was back in 1993. What's that, 17 seasons ago? Do we count the year they cancelled the World Series? Is it really 18 seasons ago?
At least it's tough to make the playoffs in baseball. Our Argonauts play in an 8 team league in which 6 teams make the playoffs, and they haven't qualified since 2007. It's not looking good for next season, either.
I could drag Toronto FC into this mess, but they're only in their fourth season. We'll excuse their three years of missing the playoffs. And the Marlies missed the playoffs, but they were there last year, if we're desperate for a silver lining.
Who am I kidding... there's no silver lining. The three teams with the largest fan-base, the Leafs, Raptors and Blue Jays, have collectively been absent from the playoffs since the Raps lost to Orlando in the first round back in the spring of good 'ol 2008.
Warning: This is not for the faint of heart. Please do not watch this if you're at all squeamish.
Our Toronto Raptors mascot was caught on camera devouring a cheerleader whole. Unbelievable.
They say you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. I disagree. If the horse is a lemon, it's not gift at all. It's a big animal that you have to care for and feed and that's going to cost you lots of money for oats and a stable and such.
As part of their Experience G promotion, Gatorade took me to a Raptors game. As part of the deal, I got an Raptors cookie bundle. It's tough to explain exactly what a Raptors cookie bundle is, so here are a couple of pictures I took.
I actually ended up taking home two bundles, one for each kid. They look amazing, don't they? There's a brownie in there, and several big cookies, and each bundle retails for $9 at the ACC. As a brownie and cookie aficionado, I was quite looking forward to cracking it open and diving in.
They were so bad, even the kids couldn't eat them. How bad does a cookie have to be for a 5 year old to say no? I knew it was a weak bundle when even dunking the cookies in milk didn't improve things.
Stay away from these cookies. They look great, but they're not edible.
I've got nothing else to say.
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