Open Mike

Welcome to this week's Open Mike. I'm Mike and I'll be your master of ceremonies for the day.

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Open Mike on Toronto Mike

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My Indians lost. That is no good about my Indians. They got clobbered 7 to 0. That's no good. Can Jose Ramirez post here again and tell me why he isn't hitting as well lately. I want my Jose. Well, none of my other teams played. My Indians and Diamondbacks will still be in the World Series.

August 24, 2018 @ 7:54 AM

Jose NOmirez

Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.

August 24, 2018 @ 8:55 AM

Not Molly

Did I ever apologize?

Just curious.

August 24, 2018 @ 9:05 AM

Jose Ramirez

Im having an MVP caliber year and about to join the 30 30 club....

August 24, 2018 @ 9:36 AM

Jose Bautista

I'm the only Jose who matters in Canada!

August 24, 2018 @ 9:38 AM

Jose Canseco

The one true Jose is in the house!

August 24, 2018 @ 9:45 AM

Jose Cuervo

With all due respect JoeyB, you are mistaken!!!

August 24, 2018 @ 9:47 AM

Ryan G

"clobbered" is a word i haven't heard in ages.

Here's another old-timey phrase, uttered by the great comedian Bill Burr on his podcast recently. Years ago..maybe it was just in the movies, it was ok for a dude to say this sort of thing to a woman: "kiss me, before I sock ya". I guess it's not too different than the honeymooners thing "one of these days of these days..pow..right in the kisser"

Of course, nowadays, tables have turned. In commercials and media, dudes are morons and imbeciles. There's even one spot i saw recently where a woman is super angry and violently throwing her bf's clothes and junk outside the window onto the street. If it was the other way around, imagine the tidal wave of protests. Then there's the cloying morning shows on tv and radio, where the woman berates the buffoon male host.

At the end of the day, I find it a little patronizing to women actually.

August 24, 2018 @ 9:47 AM

José Feliciano

Feliz Navidad

August 24, 2018 @ 9:58 AM

Jose Bautista

@Jose Curevo #batflip that is all

August 24, 2018 @ 10:22 AM

Jose Mourinho

The chosen one is here. No Jose can match my intellect!

August 24, 2018 @ 10:24 AM

Jose Cruz Jr.

JoeyB, while your HR was great at the time, eventually time will dilute it. Trust me on this ... I know.

And if you forget that all-important lesson, turn to Ms. Jackson for a teachable reminder.

August 24, 2018 @ 10:37 AM

Jose Can You see

By the dawns early light

August 24, 2018 @ 10:58 AM

Ben V

I thought the drug dealing/ gang world had a saying that "Snitches get Stitches". I figure since Dougie remembers how to sell weed, he wouldn't setup a snitch line for teachers......

I guess he's still pissed for detention he received in high school or perhaps had his stash confiscated and he's getting back all teachers now.

Good on all the "Smart voters" who chose Doug as the better way

August 24, 2018 @ 12:18 PM

The outlaw Jose Wales

Bring it

August 24, 2018 @ 12:55 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

Ok, the Jose jokes were very funny but you can stop now.

- The Management

August 24, 2018 @ 1:23 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

@Not Molly

No word yet from Molly, but now that a week has passed I think I'll reach out and suggest a re-do.

August 24, 2018 @ 1:57 PM


I liked the Major League reference.

How's your trip going Mike ?

August 24, 2018 @ 2:40 PM


Another day today & another 2 more homicides.
Record now broken for homicides in 1 year.
Thanfully you Mike are on vacation.

August 24, 2018 @ 5:21 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike


Back in Toronto now... are you in Coburg or Colborne? I know the one with the big apple is east of the other... we actually stopped in Brockville on the way home to tour Canada's first railroad tunnel and it was way better than it had to be. It's a great stop if you're breaking up a trek to Ottawa or Quebec.

The escape to Mont Tremblant was fantastic. It was all six of us in a chalet we rented via Airbnb right in the village and it was perfect. So much hiking at the resort and in the National Park... just a lot of fun.

August 24, 2018 @ 7:05 PM


+1 more tonight.

August 24, 2018 @ 7:23 PM

Urooj Islam

Glad you and the family had a great time, Mike.

We don't talk enough about just how damn beautiful this country is.

August 24, 2018 @ 8:17 PM


Hey Mike have you thought about a kotj with some Canadian rockers like Rik Emett from Triumph or the guys from April Wine? Something for the old farts like me

August 24, 2018 @ 9:08 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike


I'm always thinking of old farts like you! :)

August 24, 2018 @ 10:52 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

@Urooj Islam

It sure is. I'll write more about the trip soon.

August 24, 2018 @ 10:54 PM


Why all the Jose jokes. There is only one Jose I call my Jose and that's Jose Ramirez. Well, my Indians lost again last night. The game got delayed because a water pipe broke. Why do they have water pipes on an outdoor field anyway. Well, it broke. Pipes break in cold weather, not hot. Well, it sucks. Yonder Alonso homered twice, but Cody Allen blew a save again. Why is Cody Allen blowing saves? My Diamondbacks lost as well and my Orioles lost. It was a bad night.

August 25, 2018 @ 7:25 AM


Wow NOW Cheryl is a plumbing expert to go along with consistently picking NON-playoff teams in the NHL.NBA and NFL.

José Jiménez

August 25, 2018 @ 11:35 AM


The posts from all those different well-known guys named Jose are as equally genuine as all the posts in the AM640 and other radio-related threads from the supposedly different people repeating the same complaint over and over again. The difference is the Jose posting person is joking and was able to stop, while the radio posting person seems like a 7-year-old trying to be serious while unaware they're not fooling anyone, and obsessively can't stop.

Thinking about going to a music fest (but likely not as there's 80% chance of rain) in Newmarket, where I haven't been in more than 20 years, and checked public transit directions on Google and Triplinx. Strangely, I would first have to go to Union Station, to wait and then take another train going back in the opposite direction. I guess it must work out to be the quickest way for now, while that particular line still has no stop between Union and Downsview (one is apparently planned to eventually be at Bloor near Lansdowne).

August 25, 2018 @ 12:03 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike


"The posts from all those different well-known guys named Jose are as equally genuine as all the posts in the AM640 and other radio-related threads from the supposedly different people repeating the same complaint over and over again."

I disagree. The overwhelming majority of comments on those entries are from different people. They Google their grief (Stafford moves to mornings, Adam and Mel fired, Andy Frost gone from Q107), end up on my entry and share their thoughts.

The sentiments are similar because people only Google changes when they don't like them, so the visitors naturally share a negative opinion.

But I assure you, it's not one person pretending to be multiple people like with the Jose joke comments above.

August 25, 2018 @ 2:48 PM


I knew Jose Wales wasn't legit when he made an error in the spelling of his first name: It's
"J-O-S-E-Y", folks! Now that that is settled, I can get back to praying for the end of time (along
with those two crazy "teen-aged" lovers from "Paradise By the Dashboard Light", 'cept that
in their musical case, they at least had the option of a little pseudo- slap 'n' tickle first!!!

August 25, 2018 @ 2:57 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

No comment from Josie Dye or Josie and the Pussycats?

August 25, 2018 @ 5:02 PM

Jason from Sudbury

Ok the Jose jokes got old and stupid really quick.

August 25, 2018 @ 11:56 PM


Over 30 minutes of MLB Errors, Gaffes and Misplays, entertaining me this evening:

August 26, 2018 @ 12:40 AM


This is awful. My Indians lost again. Why can't they win anymore? Corey Kluber didn't pitch very well last night. That's no good at all. My Orioles lost as well as my Diamondbacks. Come on. I need my teams to win. I'm not a plumbing expert, but why did a pipe have to break in the middle of the fourth inning yesterday?

August 26, 2018 @ 7:41 AM

Jason from Sudbury

@Cheryl: Shit happens...who knows why it broke. Its just one of those things. It is what it is.

August 26, 2018 @ 10:14 AM

Jason from Sudbury

@Cheryl: Shit happens...who knows why the pipe broke. Its just one of those things. It is what it is.

August 26, 2018 @ 10:15 AM

Jason from Sudbury

Oops. Didn't think my first comment went through. My bad.

August 26, 2018 @ 10:16 AM


RIP Neil Simon a writing genius - TV & Broadway shows.

August 26, 2018 @ 1:04 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

Just chiming in to say San Remo Bakery is fantastic. We walk over there every other weekend or so and it's become a great ritual.

August 26, 2018 @ 1:43 PM

Urooj Islam

San Remo Bakery has an adult section on their website!

August 26, 2018 @ 2:00 PM



It happens. All grass fields have a underground sprinkler system. Gotta keep the field looking great somehow.

August 26, 2018 @ 2:27 PM


As per Troy Tulos comments today. Next year 2019 "I'm only playing shortstop & if not I'm going home." This jerk is being paid over 20MM this year, hasn't played 1 game & wants to take a walk if I can't play SS.
He was "injured" & then surgery early season for heel problems.
Wa, Wa, Wa, Wa Wa. Take the money & run to Mommy.
Tulo=Joffrey Lupul
Hangnails & put me on the IR.

August 26, 2018 @ 6:34 PM


Congrats to Brooke Henderson on winning the CP Women's Open! She is the first Canadian woman to win an LPGA event at home since the early seventies. Brooke ranks right up there with the most successful athletes in Canada right now...

August 26, 2018 @ 6:41 PM



Best case is Tulo is healthy next year, plays well and gets the Jays a solid return at the deadline. Jays will have to eat significant salary though.

For the jays fans amongst the group yay or nay on qualifying Donaldson this offseason? I'm torn but I'm leaning towards not qualifying him. Let Martin/Drury play 3rd til Vlad gets the call. That 18 million Donaldson would get can be used elsewhere.

On the flip side if Donaldson comes back on a 1 year qualifying offer and much like Tulo rebuilds his value and gets dealt at the deadline (in an ideal world)

Also Morales tied the record for consecutive games with a homerun today. Guy was a scapegoat earlier but he's been playing well since he pitched.

August 26, 2018 @ 8:09 PM


Well, my Indians won. That's great. My Jose didn't do anything though, but Edwin Encarnacion hit another home run. It's about time he did that. Shane Beber pitched a good game. My Indians are off today. My Diamondbacks won yesterday as well, but my Orioles lost again. Anyway, my Orioles and Diamondbacks play tonight, but my Indians are off. I was wondering why the same comment was posted twice. My Indians and Diamondbacks are still going to the World Series and I can't wait.

August 27, 2018 @ 7:09 AM


@Mike It's Cobourg not Coburg. Come on Mike you are in the industry and need to be professional! :)

August 27, 2018 @ 8:44 AM


Mike I'm in Cobourg (Thanks Boomer!)

"Watch it buddy" - Peter Silverman upon seeing Mike spell his town of residence incorrect.

Colborne is close to Brighton where your friend Gail Vaz Oxlade lives :)

August 27, 2018 @ 8:52 AM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

I would pack up my gear and drive to Cobourg for a Silverman-Vaz Oxlade double header!

August 27, 2018 @ 9:04 AM


@Beatts You are in Cobourg? I'm in Cobourg. You are saying Peter Silverman lives in Cobourg too? That's a lot of Cobourgers!

August 27, 2018 @ 9:09 AM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

From now on everyone should be their city in front of their handle.

For example, Cobourg Boomer or Cobourg Beatts.

Toronto Mike

August 27, 2018 @ 9:17 AM


@Boomer I'm one of the few Port Hope people that moved to Cobourg (Keeping that small town fight alive)!

I've lived in Cobourg for almost 20 years now and still take shit from my Port Hope friends for moving here. It's so silly.

I'm actually impressed that not only does Mike have a couple followers, but two in Cobourg alone. Impressive when the over/under on Toronto Mike fans in Ontario is set at 5.

August 27, 2018 @ 9:20 AM

Not falling for your data mining tricks Beatts


August 27, 2018 @ 9:21 AM

jj from Scarborough

I managed to go to the CNE twice in less than a week - I feel bad, as I don't like the fact they have the lockout going on :-(

I do hear they're losing revenue this year though. I feel bad for the workers, they always get stuck between their unions beliefs and the employer beliefs.

August 27, 2018 @ 11:39 AM

Sid_V from NY via London

It is still August, but the Leafs coverage is already getting ramped up. Personally, I think blue and white before September is just as unseemly as white pants after Labour Day.

August 27, 2018 @ 9:33 PM


Well, how about those Orioles. That was fantastic. That's great that they won. My Diamondbacks lost though. That's no good. Well, hopefully Indians, Orioles, and Diamondbacks all win tonight and I really want my Jose to hit a home run.

August 28, 2018 @ 6:53 AM

Downtown Phil

Why does it rain so much I hate rain.

August 28, 2018 @ 10:12 AM


Sid_V from NY via London - Not a Leafs fan but a Raptors fan. I miss them during the summer, so I like the tid bits and we had a pretty dramatic off season - as did the Leafs! But I can see how it might be overwhelming to others.

August 28, 2018 @ 10:56 AM


Regarding Leafs coverage in August -- why not?
Today any sport with more than a slightly moderate following has year-round coverage for anyone who is interested enough to want it. I think most people likely have something like two or three particular teams/sports they pay attention to, and can (and mostly do) ignore everything else. It's not like things were 40 years ago, when all we had was whatever the locally available TV and newspapers deemed to be worthy of attention in their small amounts of airtime and print space.

August 28, 2018 @ 12:09 PM

Urooj Islam

The Jays are bad, not entertaining to watch and will suck for another couple of years, the Argos are following up a Grey Cup winning season with a year riddled with injuries and struggles, Toronto FC is following up the best year in MLS history with a bad year and after 5 straight years of it, I think most people have had enough of the Raptors playoff letdowns.

So, I don't mind the early Leafs coverage, it's the only team left that can capture the imagination of sports fans in this city because you can let your mind run wild with their ceiling and potential especially after adding Tavares.

August 28, 2018 @ 1:04 PM


Yes, the Jays are bad. Well, my Orioles beat them twice because my Orioles are better, but they won't make the playoffs. My Indians will though. My Indians played a great game. No homer by my Jose though, but he did get a double. Carlos Carrasco pitched a real gem of a game. My Diamondbacks lost though and got shut out again. That sucks. Remember in hockey it will be the Habs and Coyotes. Carey Price will be back and be great again and shut down the Leafs.

August 29, 2018 @ 7:12 AM


Cheryl laying the troll sauce on thick this morning. lol

August 29, 2018 @ 9:34 AM


Another example of morbid irony: Last week in the early hours of Friday morning a dead body
was discovered either beside my building or across the street. Wasn't home when the cops
came to canvas, but had the great pleasure of responding to their "while you were out" letter
hours later. Happy to report that I'm in the clear on that one(!), but last night I came home to an
upcoming filming notification for a new CBC series called "Coroner." Just imagine if that filming
session had been scheduled for late last week: ( almost) SYNCHRONICITY!!! (Thanx, Sting!!)

August 29, 2018 @ 9:42 AM

Urooj Islam


Oh man, if Cheryl learns how to intentionally troll then we're really in trouble.

August 29, 2018 @ 1:49 PM


@Urooj Fingers crossed!

August 29, 2018 @ 4:08 PM


My Indians lost last night. This sucks. They were leading. Then Cody Allen had to be brought in again. When Cody Allen comes into a game, he stinks. Why can't they get rid of Cody Allen. Well, Cody Allen will not be invited to my party. My Orioles won again though. Why couldn't they win like this earlier in the season and then they would have a chance. My Diamondbacks also won as well.

August 30, 2018 @ 6:26 AM


It's for the best anyways Cheryl.

Cody Allen has a cat allergy.

August 30, 2018 @ 8:17 AM


But maybe those hypothetical cats are Hypoallergenic, so Cody will still be able to come to the

In other news, very upset that Denise A. went from CTV to CityTV. Probably a good move for
her weather career, but a real shame for me as I still live in a one channel universe. She's a real
hottie, so I now have one less reason to watch CTV News, not that she was featured all that
regularly. Ah, at least Anwar K. is still on in the morning. Now he's a real talent, seriously!

August 30, 2018 @ 10:15 AM


I just had one of the weirdest public washroom experiences of my life. Heeding
nature's urgent call, I tucked into the nearest washroom in the very barren lower concourse of
North York Centre, and imagine my complete shock and bewilderment, when I awkwardly
discovered that my urinal had a small screen embedded within, complete with advertising
brought to me by that oh-so-notable Swiss company Urimat!! Never heard of 'em before, me
neither!I I found it very hard to complete my 'mission' due to the awkward aquatic video simultaneously on display. Hint, it didn't exactly help matters much! Simply give me a urinal target
with Trump's face on it and all will be all good in my urinary tract 'hood!! "This computerized crap
ain't gettin' me off!!!" (With full apologies to Adams/Vallance and all global fans of "Kids Wanna

August 30, 2018 @ 4:04 PM


Never thought I'd see you'd link to a classic Barbara Mandrell track via your Twitter feed!!
Now I'm having non-acid flashbacks to her early '80s variety show with her two sisters. Pure Country-
Pop hokum at its finest!!!

August 30, 2018 @ 5:46 PM

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