An Open Letter To Jack

Driving to work yesterday, I had a fun little interaction with a prick on wheels. The two wheeled variety. Let's call him by name. Let's go with Jack. Jack Ass.

See, Jack Ass incorrectly concluded that I had violated his asphalt real estate while driving by him, so Jack decided to spit on my car, which is when I decided to pull over and confront Jack.

Jack immediately pulls out a phone to film the entire incident, repeatedly citing "you can't split the lane, you can't split the lane." And you know what else you can't do? Spit on someone's car without expecting that someone's blood to get up.

Jack, I'm not a religious man, but I advise you to count your blessings. You seem like the antagonizing type who's done this sort of thing before, so it's only a matter of time before you come across a person who is just a little more volatile than me, and in the heat of the moment, between your bicyle and a vehicle, you will lose. Oh sure, you could take legal action and would probably win some kind of cash settlement, which would allow you to spend the rest of your days gloating gleefully while sitting comfortably in your very expensive wheelchair.

Ryan G /

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Comments (15 - click here to join in!)

James Edgar

When will people figure this out? I've ridden Bicycles downtown and now I ride a real mans bike everywhere and it's obvious who loses in a confrontation. It's just not worth your life .

This story shows what can happen.

NOT that i'm putting an ounce of blame on the rider. the point is you never know what kind of a psycho you could run into.

Your incident could have been bad news for you both. It simply not worth it.

June 4, 2015 @ 12:06 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

@James Edgar

Take back that "real man's bike" comment!

June 4, 2015 @ 1:01 PM

33 rpm

I always advise against confrontation because..............nut cases with weapons, you never know
who you're going up against.

June 4, 2015 @ 5:39 PM


hmmm you might be jackass number 2 for confronting him.
just. not. worth. it.

June 4, 2015 @ 6:23 PM

Lou Sipher

Just last weekend driving Lakeshore.../Browns line
I come to a stop as rules of the road ,two bikes wiss past a RED light..Ok
Dumb lights...i carry on ,pass the people on bikes,get another Red light,STOP
People on bikes AGAIN Wiss right past no regard for the red light...
Then i come to 30 th street i stop again (I Have to)
OOO did i say there is a CLEARLY MARKED bike lane yet they were in a live lane??

Soo stopped at 30th street as i should obeying the rules of the road..
One of the bikes comes to a compete STOP right beside me and yells at me

THERE are bikes on the road "U phucking A_whole.....

RUN two drop dead red lights,then take the time to com to a COMPETE stop to swear at me

real nice...OH and i had a small child in the back seat...


I apologize i assume you guys were in a hurry !!!!!!!!

June 4, 2015 @ 6:33 PM


I hate the whole "the other side is just as bad" argument. Can we agree that people potentially of all 'groups' can be shitty?

June 4, 2015 @ 8:47 PM

Ryan G /


I respectfully disagree. Certain people, like this twat, have a gigantic fucking chip on their shoulders.

I assure you that in no way did I endanger him in any shape or form, yet he decided to spit on my car. This man needed to learn a lesson for his own good, which was the point of my post. In future, Jack Ass will think twice about spitting. It is the most disrespectful, vile thing someone can do.

You call me an asshole for confronting him, but you know what, this ass hat cowardly banked on the thought that I wouldn't stop and get out of my car on a busy road in rush hour, which is precisely why I did get out of the car. I wasn't trying to be tough - it was a matter of principle, plain and simple.

June 4, 2015 @ 9:20 PM


Headline reads:
Cyclist runs the gauntlet, spits on hobo's car.

Toronto Mike spits on Ryan's car! You heard it here.

June 4, 2015 @ 9:46 PM

James Edgar

@Mike LOL

June 4, 2015 @ 9:52 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

Two things:

1. I would never spit on a car. If a car encroaches, I'll yell at the driver, but I'll never spit.

2. If a cyclists spits on my car, I let it go. It's just not worth it.

June 4, 2015 @ 10:13 PM


No I didn't call you an asshole. I called you a jackass.
However, now I read this addition to your story.... "get out of my car on a busy road in rush hour, which is precisely why I did get out of the car" .... maybe you are an asshole (?) because now you have put other people in danger too.
Cyclist is a pig and a 'twat' to be sure - but you made it worse.

June 4, 2015 @ 10:22 PM


I got spit at for minding my own business, biking along the Gerrard bike lane yesterday.

Never happened in Toronto, but in Ottawa, several times people rolled down their windows to call me a "fucking faggot" or something else along those lines. Good times.

June 4, 2015 @ 11:21 PM


You getting out was a no win. A guy (lets call him Phill) that worked on the same job as me would yell constantly and belittle his underlings. I've always figured it be a matter of time before one takes a swing. Well one day he hired a new guy, yelled and belittled him, this new employee had an enough and knocked Phill out with one punch. Obviously the young man lost his job but Phill wasn't transformed by the experience...every job I see him he behaves the exact same way.

You getting out and punching him has way too many avenues for you to lose. You're not going to humble the guy and you're going to open yourself up to lawsuits. On top of the potential health risks. The only benefit to getting out is your personal pride.

June 5, 2015 @ 8:53 AM

Mark H

It seems the default mode for a chunk of cyclists is set to confrontational. Oh, they feel righteous in what they are doing, but as has been stated above its a game they're going to lose.

Similar to the original poster, I had a cyclist a little while back that felt I had violated some sort of code that he lived by. Rather than spit, he instead decided to cycle in front of my car at a light and ride in the middle of the road basically attached to my right bumper.

When I rolled down my window to confront him, he pulls out his camera and starts snapping pictures.

He's probably a pretty fortunate man that as a man approaching 40, I have no interest in starting physical altercations.

June 5, 2015 @ 11:37 AM


Spit on your car? R u gonna confront a seagull when it shits on your car too? Take some valium, douche.

June 7, 2015 @ 3:48 PM

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