Roll Up The Stress

Roll Up The StressBy now we’re all aware that Tim Horton’s is part of the fabric of this great nation. At least, that’s what their ad agency tells us. So like a lot of Canadians, most days on my way in to work I stop at T-Ho's for a coffee. I'm not surprised this ritual is a cultural institution, but I am surprised by human behaviour.

Tim Horton's locations are notoriously rammed, and this includes their drive thru’s as well. Each morning when I drive in to the lot, 99% of the time it’s blocked solid. So as I first enter the parking lot, I quickly peer into the window to gauge the gong show within. If the lineup is moderate, I’ll park and go inside. If not, I’ll keep driving and settle for the reasonably hand-drawn facsimile of a coffee I can get at my work cafeteria. This is what I don't understand about us silly humans. When the drive thru is nuts and not so bad inside, you can park, walk 20 feet and get your coffee in 3 minutes. Or, you can sit in your car, listen to terrible morning radio hosts and get your coffee in 10-15 minutes. And, aren’t most people, on average, “running a little late” in the mornings and in a hurry to get to work? I‘d hazard a guess that despite the probability of being late for work, most people wil still opt to sit in a drive thru.

And, I’m sure you’ve all seen this before, but at my particular Tim Horton’s, there are two entrances. As such, two lines form to enter the single drive thru lane, which of course increases blood pressure and causes localized road rage. Cars slowly inch forward to passively aggressively signal to the enemy in the other converging lane: “hey asshat - I was here first and you better not fuck with me by trying to slip ahead in the line” This reaction is understandable, since that would mean that the other guy gets his coffee 57 seconds earlier than you did. It really is quite comical how stress-inducing this is for people. I can see it in their faces and hear it in their horns and screams out their car windows.

See I figure life is stressful enough. We’ve got bills to pay and dick bosses to deal with. So, why place an additional layer of stress onto yourself every single morning when it’s so unbelievably easy to avoid?


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Comments (34 - click here to join in!)

markosaar

Gives people a story or something. I'm with you, I don't understand it at all.

I don't MIND take-out coffee, though Timmy's is toward the bottom of my favourites, but it's just so much cheaper to make vastly superior coffee myself. Takes less time, and is an enjoyable experience throughout the process.

I guess it's just become ingrained as routine, but I think it's a dumb habit.

March 4, 2014 @ 10:22 AM

Justin

I can't stand the new roll up the rim cups. All it means is you lose twice instead of once.

March 4, 2014 @ 10:38 AM

Lorne

It all comes down to a disconnect with reality. It's the same people who honk at you when you brake. You're slowing them down! You're costing them VALUABLE SECONDS OF THEIR LIFE! Never mind that all the traffic in front of you has stopped for a red light, you dared to brake in front of them.

Same thing here. Getting out of the car would cost VALUABLE SECONDS-- despite the fact that you can get in and out of the Tims five minutes sooner by counter than drive through.

I don't get it.

March 4, 2014 @ 10:51 AM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

I never use drive thrus. Never.

And I prefer McDonald's coffee to Tim's, so I just go there and keep the stickers. When my card's full, I get a free coffee.

March 4, 2014 @ 10:55 AM

Brian

Never in a rush to get to work in the morning (last place I want to go really) and I enjoy my AM640 and/or FAN590, so I am happy to stay in the car and wait.

March 4, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

mrmojorisinca

one word..Lazy
its the only reason.

March 4, 2014 @ 11:29 AM

Curmudgeon

I walk to work downtown, and I see people lined up out the door at Tim Hortons every morning in -1000 weather. I love coffee, but I don't understand getting frostbite for a double double. I think some folks just want to do anything but get to work. Even if it means losing an ear.

March 4, 2014 @ 11:41 AM

Derrick

I'm with Mike, McDonald's coffee is better. And quicker. The line ups aren't nearly as bad.

March 4, 2014 @ 11:44 AM

Anon&on

Drive thru people know what they want. I cant believe how many people line up for ten minutes inside, get to the counter, and have no clue what they want. I's as if they didnt know what they were lining up for. Pairs of women are the worst. High percentage of seniors go inside, they are never concerned with time.

March 4, 2014 @ 12:26 PM

this guest

it's like how
budweiser and
mcdonalds
made you feel all
patriotic during
the olympics

wtf

tim hortons
as a national icon
with that
mashed cardboard
dreck they
call coffee

wtf

March 4, 2014 @ 1:26 PM

Rob

I don't mind Tim Horton coffee. I hear a lot of people ragging on it but the taste is fine by me. Maybe I'm used to it.

I am fortunate I leave work at 6am when there is no line ups. There is no way I'd waste five-ten minutes waiting in a line. If that's the case I'm better off making the coffee at home.

When there is a line up I used to do your idea Mike. Walk in opposed to the drive through. But the service inside would be hit and miss. I find they stack their employees on the drive through and are short staffed at the counter. Smaller lines but similar wait in inside I typically noticed.

Their food is horrendous though. Their sandwiches are expensive and as plain as you can get.

March 4, 2014 @ 1:35 PM

NW

You are absolutely right about drive-throughs. I think even if I had a De Tomaso Pantera, I'd park the car and walk into the store.

Regardless of what you think of their coffee and other products I cringe every time I hear somebody refer to Tim Hortons (or Tim Horton's with the apostrophe as it used to be) as "Tims", "T-Ho's" and especially "Timmies".

I wonder how many of their customers and servers know who Tim Horton actually was?

March 4, 2014 @ 5:55 PM

Corey

I'm with you, NW. Anytime I hear someone say, "Can't start the morning with out my Timmie's!" I have to fight the urge to punch them in the face. I believe people wait in drive-thru lines because they don't want to get to work on time. They can delay their arrival, and then justify it by saying how brutal the line-up for coffee was. They're not even embarrassed by the fact that they're waiting in line for garbage coffee. They're not even embarrassed to admit they're incapable of making a pot of coffee at home and using a travel mug. I hate them.

March 4, 2014 @ 6:58 PM

Gump

One of the reasons I love being in North Toronto -- no drive throughs (ugh "thrus").
No one cares but here is my hierarchy :
Timothy's > McDonald's > Second Cup > Starbucks > Tim Horton's > Coffee Time!

March 4, 2014 @ 10:15 PM

Gump

@NW
I see want you did there. 40+ years ago this month.

Twice the legal limit

March 4, 2014 @ 10:29 PM

VegasGeoff

Such hate and nasty comments in here for something that affects you in no way whatsoever. If someone wants to wait in line to get a Timmie's, what's it to you? What tastes terrible to you might taste amazing to someone else. Personally, I think McDonald's coffee is awful, but I wouldn't chide you for choosing to drink it.

March 5, 2014 @ 1:47 AM

Rob

@VegasGeorff I agree. Especially Corey. You want to punch someone in the face because they want Tim Horton's in morning? If that builds that much anger in you, the problem is you, not them.

To each their own brother. To disagree with someone is great, but, to build such hate over something that has no impact on you is pathetic.

March 5, 2014 @ 5:50 AM

Rick C in Oakville

Love your postings Ryan G!
I am one of those knuckle draggers that has to have his Timmies, so I line up every morning, but driving a Hybrid I feel I get a bit of a David Suzuki pass on the environmental effects. My usual stop is Ford Drive and Royal Windsor, drive thru is far faster here as they have about 5-6 people running it, the internal line up only 2 servers and as Rob mentioned it can be pathetically slow/hit and miss.
I hate the new dual line ups (ArrGGHH!) as I usually get stuck behind the family that can't make up there mind delaying me at least another 30 -50 seconds! (That is meant as sarcasm)

March 5, 2014 @ 7:52 AM

Rob

@RickC

Be careful Rick, some people might assault you for that subjective choice.

March 5, 2014 @ 7:56 AM

Corey

Oh relax Tims fans. The punching in the face comment wasn't meant to be taken literally. The conversation is really more about people willing to spend part of their mornings lining up for coffee, regardless of brand. To say it doesn't affect anyone else is not entirely true. I knew a woman at a previous job who would arrive at work each morning at 9:10 because she "couldn't start the day without her Timmies!". She'd take a regular lunch, leave on time every day. 10 minutes late doesn't sound too horrible, until you realize that adds up to 50 minutes a week, 3.5 hours a month, 40 hours over a year getting coffee. Like smokers who are mysteriously entitled to additional break time over non-smokers, drive-thru a users (i.e. People who refuse to factor that time into their morning) are productivity black holes who should be punched in the face by every conscientious employee.

March 5, 2014 @ 8:19 AM

Argie

I'm sorry but some people really do need a punch in the face - especially those who can't recognize satire and get offended so easily. Great post Ryan!

March 5, 2014 @ 8:27 AM

Rob

@Corey

You problem is with your employer than and not the employee. That nonsense does not fly at my work. Smokers have to wait till break and people have to be at the job on time.

If you employer allows it (especially after it is brought to their attention), really it is none of your business. Deal with it or find a new employer.

@Argie

Do I think Corey would actually punch someone? Of course not.

Do I think people express a strong hate for mundane things that has no impact on them. Yes.

I don't even care about Tims. I'll take any coffee that is cheap and quick in the morning. I enjoy McDonald's taste a little more as well.

March 5, 2014 @ 9:36 AM

Argie

@Rob
Am I annoyed when repeatedly people pose a question simply to state an opinion? Yes!

March 5, 2014 @ 9:50 AM

Corey

@Rob -

While my example was an isolated event at one place I worked, years ago, it doesn't mean it was unique. I would never bother going to my employer to raise an issue like that because I'm not a busybody, and it doesn't affect my own work. Doesn't mean I didn't take note though, and if I was in a situation where I was relying on that person's contributions in order to complete my project, I would think differently. It definitely coloured my perception of her. It's great that you work at a place that enforces the rules for everyone. There are a lot that don't.

March 5, 2014 @ 9:55 AM

Corey

@speyside -

But he is fat, and he is a slob. What's the problem?

March 5, 2014 @ 10:25 AM

Rob

@Argie

I will punch you in the face.

March 5, 2014 @ 11:13 AM

Argie

@Rob
Should I be upset you want to punch me in the face? No.

March 5, 2014 @ 11:58 AM

Rob

@Argie

Is it because my arms are not particularly muscular? Yes.

March 5, 2014 @ 12:14 PM

Cheryl

I don't drink coffee at all and I work at home so no Timmies for me.

March 5, 2014 @ 6:02 PM

Lorne

Wow, 29 comments in a coffee thread, and barely any of the troll archetypes have come out to play?

The ONLY good coffee is the one you make for yourself at home, not that *I* would know because I don't drink that poison I just have detox green tea each day (except COLD brewed over night the way the ancient Chinese did it not using a plug in kettle ).

Did I miss any?

March 5, 2014 @ 11:13 PM

Lorne

Damn, I did miss one. Can someone please insult someone else for "wasting $5 on overpriced $tarbucks quote unquote coffee". If the responder to that will please criticize the milk, cream, sugar and/or flavorings habits of the OP as drinking their coffee "wrong", we should be done.

I think we can save the K-cup trolls for another day.

March 5, 2014 @ 11:16 PM

caygeon

Have not set foot in a Horton's for over twenty years and same goes for McDonalds and every other type of fast food outlet that is out there. To quote a politician that we all know. I get everything I need at home.

March 6, 2014 @ 7:17 AM

Rob

I had an energy drink this morning. Punch away.

March 6, 2014 @ 7:43 AM

Jason from Sudbury

I don't drink coffee. Always have a green Monster Energy every morning. That's my morning coffee lol.

March 6, 2014 @ 4:46 PM

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