World Famous Open Mike

Open MikeThis is your world famious Open Mike, which may or may not actually be world famous.

Feel free to use this space to vent, rant, share a story and/or ask a question of the hivemind.


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Inb4 Argie!

Study about intelligence and faith. It appears those with strong faith are not so smart. Don't blame me, blame the link


August 13, 2013 @ 8:59 AM



That analysis concludes what we all suspected. The report says it best:

"Overall, Zuckerman, Silberman, and Hall conclude that, according to their meta-analysis, there is little doubt a significant negative correlation exists (i.e. people who are more religious score worse on varying measures of intelligence)."

August 13, 2013 @ 9:04 AM

Al The Royal Pain

This weekend we play our first city gig!

What? Great music from the 90s to present
Where? Duffy's Tavern, 1238 Bloor St. West
When? 9pm
Why? Because I said so
How? Something emits energy in the form of a vibration. Areas of high and low pressure move outwards creating a form of longitudinal wave (a wave which vibrates in the direction of travel). The amplitude (volume) and frequency (pitch) of the sound wave depends on what the source is and the amount of energy supplied outwards. When that source is The Royal Pains, you get a high energy mix of danceable and singable music to rock to.

If any of you are free that night, come on out. I would love to meet you in person.

August 13, 2013 @ 9:16 AM


It seems Irvine is a very religious person.

August 13, 2013 @ 9:22 AM


How's the Dean Blundell Show sounding this week?

Is anyone listening?

August 13, 2013 @ 9:25 AM


I can't describe how much I dislike Adam Sandler movies...words fail me

August 13, 2013 @ 9:37 AM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike


I enjoyed both Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore.

August 13, 2013 @ 9:39 AM


The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates...only because I was dragged to them

August 13, 2013 @ 9:44 AM


The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates...only because I was dragged to them

August 13, 2013 @ 9:44 AM

Ben Vidal

@ Irvine: Don't worry. Argie will dismiss the findings, and present findings by a church that religious people are more stable and happy. (which of course won't be a biased report)

Then again this is a report presented by elitist scientists(another word that is synonymous with educated) those bastards!!

I think the best part of the article was the following about the Terman cohort of the gifted:

"What makes these results remarkable is not just that these gifted folks were less religious, something that is seen among elite scientists as well, but that 60 percent of the Termites reported receiving “very strict” or “considerable” religious training while 33 percent received little training. Thus, almost all of the gifted Termites grew up to be less religious."

@ Bo: The show has been terrible this week. Apparently it's just going to be an all talk format moving forward.

@ Al the Royal Pain: Are you playing any gigs soon in the west end? i.e., Oakville/Burlington/Hamilton Waterloo area?

@ All: Whatever happened to Mike from Lowville. He seems to have disappeared. Also Jason get your OJ. I enjoyed how disgruntled he was about music.

August 13, 2013 @ 9:47 AM

Al The Royal Pain

@Ben Vidal

Hopefully we'll get a gig or two in the Mississauga area (our drummer is from there) but nothing has been booked yet.

August 13, 2013 @ 9:51 AM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

@Ben Vidal

You're right, Mike from Lowville and OJ Boy comment much less frequent than they used to, but they're still occasionally checking in.

Here's OJ Boy on July 29:

Here's Mike from Lowville on July 19:

August 13, 2013 @ 9:52 AM

Ben Vidal

@ Wayner: There was an interesting pic showing Adam Sandler movies. All the ones that are terrible, not funny, produced just for the sake of producing a movie bring in the big $$$ at the box office.

Anything Adam Sandler has done that has even a remotely smart plot line brings in almost no $$$.

In fact as Adam Sandler movies have gotten even worse, less funny and altogether moronic they actually bring in record $ amounts.

Sad really.

August 13, 2013 @ 9:53 AM

Al The Royal Pain

Adam Sandler is mostly miss these days, but I'd argue that he's made some really solid movies (Funny People is one of my all-time favourites). Check out my ranking of his films (that I've seen)on Letterboxd:

August 13, 2013 @ 9:56 AM

4x4 Time

Saw this on a bumper sticker this weekend and thought it was pretty much dead on.

The secret of enjoying a good wine.

1. Open the bottle to allow it to breathe.

2. If it does not look like it's breathing, give it mouth to mouth.

August 13, 2013 @ 9:58 AM

Nigel Trousershrapnel

Originally Posted in the Wrong Place:

Glad everyone's here. I understand I can get a diagnosis for whatever ails me on this website.
Symptoms include:
Agitation, hallucinations, fever, fast heart rate, overactive reflexes, vomiting, diarrhea, loss of coordination; headache, trouble concentrating, memory problems, weakness, feeling unsteady, seizure, shallow breathing, blood in the stool, colitis, dysphagia, acquired esophageal stenosis, gastric ulcer, gingivitis, irritable bowel syndrome, and lower abdominal pain, anal leakage, and someone's been leaving a bag of poop in front of the door of my apartment every day for the last two weeks.
I know that you prefer a video to assist you in your diagnosis, but any footage I was able to produce would certainly put you off your feed for a day or two.
Your consistantly sympathetic assessment of the mayor's, shall we say issues, has brought me here today and I think you'll agree that more than the old, " he has a problem and I hope he gets the help he needs", is required here. I do enjoy the odd beer and I only smoke after sex, which has me down to about two packs a day.
It is rather urgent as I have my first date with a lady I met on Christian Mingles, later this week. I appreciate any advice the team can provide.

August 13, 2013 @ 10:18 AM


@ Al the Royal Pain

Viewed your listing and realized that I've seen more Adam Sandler movies than I thought...i think they've just become backgound noise in my life

What about Bedtime Stories?

August 13, 2013 @ 10:35 AM

Al The Royal Pain


Haven't seen that one and really have no desire to see it...same goes with "Click". These days I'm more interested in Sandler's more serious movies as his comedies and family films are getting a little tedious. Having said that...if it's going to be on TV or available on Netflix, and I'm bored, I might watch it.

What I really liked about Sandler's earlier stuff was that his comedy wasn't mean. There was heart to his stories. His character (the stereotypical Sandler character) is deeply flawed, not very bright, often had a temper but also a soft spot for the misfits or the elderly and the only meanness was directed at the elite or the bully. I think It started with Billy Madison, but it was perfected with Happy Gilmore. Everything after that started getting a little repetitive.

August 13, 2013 @ 11:13 AM

Al The Royal Pain

@Nigel Trousershrapnel

It sounds as if you're suffering from WebMDiarrhea.

August 13, 2013 @ 11:16 AM


Damn...I forgot about Click too

August 13, 2013 @ 11:16 AM

Al The Royal Pain


Don't be so hard on yourself, everyone forget's about "Click". From what I've heard, it's a very forgettable movie.

August 13, 2013 @ 11:25 AM

Nigel Trousershrapnel

@Al The Royal Pain
Not familiar with that particular ailment, but from your previous comments here on this site, I can only assume that you know your Diarrhea better than I. As for the bag of poop on my stoop, I suspect that the scoundrel is Mrs. Jeffers in 16B. A few weeks back as she stood waiting for a bus in front of our building, I mistook her for a prostitute and offered her a beer and some sound advice on better areas to peddle her wares. Two days later....poop in a bag. It may be shear coincidence, but I have my doubts. I will soon have the upper hand, having contracted a security service to install a "poop cam", to monitor all comings and goings outside my flat.

August 13, 2013 @ 11:35 AM


The whole migration toward paywalls by newspapers is just stupid. It shows the lack of vision & resistance to mainstream technology that mainstream media has. With the advent of the tablet, the newspaper could well create a newspaper you download, IN FULL, complete with advertisements. It would require investing some money in mobile development but it could be done. It would allow the standard old fashioned newspaper to be viewed digitally complete with advertisements. Much the same could be done on the web. Much of the cost of a newspaper is to pay for the transportation & the printing costs. In a digital world these don't exist.

People love reading the paper online. That's a fact. But, not much can change when the industry is managed and controlled by a bunch of old white guys. They're resistant to change & they're quakers when it comes to tech. Thats why the vast majority of modern technology was developed by young guys with brilliant ideas.

August 13, 2013 @ 11:39 AM


@AFKAI You seem a bit challenged when it comes to economics, but the newspapers cannot aquire enough online revenue from advertisers to make this feasible. The average newspaper connoisseur tends to branch out to more than their local daily.

Although, in theory if you can get all of a locals subscribers to relocate to the online edition, your thought may carry some validity. How many publications would you be willing to subscribe to?

This seems like some pipedream from a person that is not a stock holder of any kind.

August 13, 2013 @ 12:01 PM

Ryan G

Friends and I rented a very nice, private cottage near Peterborough, about 10 minutes from a tiny town called Apsley.

It was interesting to think about what was actually going on behind the scenes with neighbouring cottages as we enjoyed our stay there. While sitting on the dock sunning ourselves, talking and drinking many many beers, you could feel the gaze of the other nearby cottage owners, just checking us out to make sure we weren't gonna burn the place down. It was subtle, but it was there.

One woman actually swam from her cottage about 300 yards away, and gently probed us. Twas a little strange, but understandable I suppose. So she swam up to our dock and said a friendly hello,and asked a few questions. I said all the right things of course, but for a second, what I really wanted to do is wait for her to get close and then yell maniacally: "You're all a bunch of fuckin' slaves!", and proceed to poke her vigorously with a canoe paddle to get her away from our dock. As a final touch, I'd pull down my trunks for a look at some choice Ryan G junk, just as a parting gift.

Wonder how long it would have been before a pickup truck chock full of rednecks showed up.

August 13, 2013 @ 12:03 PM


Canada's truly richest citizen, Sir Li Ka-shing, is a educational drop-out. How rich? His 31 Billion dollars could buy the 2nd to 5th richest Canadians on Maclean's Great Canadian Countdown.

August 13, 2013 @ 12:25 PM


Canada's truly richest citizen, Sir Li Ka-shing, is [an] educational drop-out. How rich? His 31 Billion dollars could buy the 2nd to 5th richest Canadians on Maclean's Great Canadian Countdown.
(He can also afford to hire his own spell-checker.)

August 13, 2013 @ 12:26 PM

4x4 Time

We had a BBQ on Sunday with some family and friends, and I was surprised that several people in their late 20’s early 30’s had never had a meal off a charcoal BBQ. Do you think this is pretty common?

August 13, 2013 @ 12:36 PM


@Ryan G
"One woman actually swam from her cottage about 300 yards away, and gently probed us."

Wow. Sounds kinky. What lake was this again?

August 13, 2013 @ 12:37 PM



And you're clearly challeneged when it comes to technology. You can get all pissy but I'm simply pointing out the obvious. Paywalls, for the most part, are not working. Are you one of those relics of the past who is going to "fight the internet"? It didn't work for music & movies, why do you think it is going to work for media? (and cable it up next)

As for subscribing to the newspaper I have & did for years (to several). I no longer have the interest in subscribing to a newspaper. For starters, I prefer reading on my iPad but more importantly the content of most newspaper is dribble. You think I'm going to pay for the content in the Star? Or the Globe? Or the National Post? Or, LOL, The Sun? I'm willing to pay for online radio, buy my music but I will NOT purchase "modern news" which is mostly conjecture. Sorry slickster.

Oh and in case you missed it, my opinion is shared by millions across this country. Undoubtably you're on of those rabid right wing "free market types". Well the MARKET wants online media. It's YOUR job to figure out how to make it profitable. If not, you go bankrupt. Clearly you're simply unable to understand how the free market works. You are the weakest link.

August 13, 2013 @ 12:40 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

@4x4 Time

I can tell you I BBQ'd dinner on Saturday night and both lunch and dinner on Sunday and it was all propane.

In fact, I haven't BBQ'd with charcoal in about 15 years.

August 13, 2013 @ 12:41 PM

Ben Vidal

@ 4X4: I would say that your experience is 50/50. Propane is too easy for most lazy a holes that age.

August 13, 2013 @ 12:41 PM


@AFKAI (11:39)
The lack of (regular business) online ad placements with newspapers is a long and sad story.
There is also a lost art to the editing of an actual print edition. Twice, this summer, I've noted when the Globe and Mail places its daily puzzle solutions ahead of their actual same-day puzzles. The last time the solutions were upon a left-side page; puzzles to be completed placed immediately across on the adjoining right-side page.
Now consider all of the thousands of journalism students across Canada. Young or Old, White or all Others, Men or Women, Immigrants or Outsourced/Imported Workers or Cdn-born: don't expect a capable transition to the digital marketplace.

August 13, 2013 @ 12:45 PM


@Afkai I may not be as apt in the technology field as you profess to be, but as a realist I can tell you, if the newspaper stops being delivered to the local houses, that paper will not exist online.

With that said I do not purchase the daily delivery service as it does not suit my needs. I prefer to read numerous dailies online. (yes I know that I am assisting their demise).

You seem to feel that your opinion(s) are the fair representation of the Canadian public, but if you look very close, you for the most part cannot even garner support of this obscure community on most topics.

August 13, 2013 @ 1:05 PM

Ryan G


It was Lake Chandos. Unfortunately however the woman was about as old as the Lake.

August 13, 2013 @ 1:11 PM

Lyle Lanley

Anne Mroczkowski is gone from Global. She was let go.

August 13, 2013 @ 1:14 PM


I use propane, charcoal and a smoker.

As a matter of convenience I tend to use the propane grill more often. But I did mange to use the charcoal grill twice this summer.

Still struggling with grilling fish...any helpful hints?

August 13, 2013 @ 1:17 PM

4x4 Time

I am in agreement with @Afkai – Paywalls for current local newspapers is short sighted, and I think will not be supported by mass consumers. There are way too many options to get whatever news you want to read for free.

Media outlets need to be more creative to compete for consumers or readers and figure out a way to make money doing it. Just like brick and mortar retailers have to compete with convenient, safe and competitive online retail sites.

August 13, 2013 @ 1:21 PM


@ Wayer - re: grilling fish, you may have tried these two tips, but for what they're worth:

I've found that the key to grilling salmon is to make sure the fillet are dried off as much as possible before hand. To much moisture helps the heat to bond the fish to the grill.

Also oil down your grill a few times (I just use paper towel and olive oil) use tongs to grip the oil soaked paper towel. Oil it once, let it continue to heat, oil it again - repeat a few times and it should build up a pretty good non-stick surface.

August 13, 2013 @ 1:32 PM


@Corey: Good tip on the oil. You might want to try veg or peanut or grapeseed oil. They all have a fairly high smoke point, and very little or no flavor. They'll stick around (no pun intended) on the grill longer than the olive oil.

August 13, 2013 @ 1:43 PM

4X4 Time

@Wayner – Lot’s of ways to grill fish, and you may have tried these as Corey said.

Direct on the grill fish cuts – Use a thicker piece of fish, try for at least an inch (Sword, Tuna, Halibut, Salmon) and get your BBQ as hot as you can. Grill for about 3 minutes or so, flip for another 2 minutes and then cook off the heat for about 5 minutes. Make sure you oil the grill well with grapeseed or canola oil before you put on the fish.

Planked Fish – Soak the planks (Cedar or Alder are popular for fish) for a couple of hours. Use a high heat and put the plank on the BBQ for a few minutes with salt and pepper, and let it smoke up for a couple of minutes. Then put the fish on the plank, close the BBQ and cook for about 10 minutes. Good for salmon or any thick cut white fish

Whole fish – Easy to do with a nonstick fish basket you can buy just about anywhere

Steamed Fish – If you are using thinner cuts of fish (Tilapia etc), just season them and wrap them up in foil with some white wine or other liquid and throw it on for 10 minutes or so.

Good luck…

August 13, 2013 @ 1:46 PM


I had to deal with Quicken customer support today concerning some business software I use on my computer.

I was on the phone with a gentleman from India for more than 30 minutes. They couldn't have been more pleasant and helpful during our conversation. I was frantic because I was worried I was going to lose 10 years worth of data. But they talked me down from the ledge and restored my faith in humanity.
They even offered me 20% off on some new software.

August 13, 2013 @ 2:28 PM


e: Paywalls

@CQ: The news industry may be comprised of many cultures, age ranges, etc but it's RUN BY OLD MEN. Those old men are called management & they lack the vision & flexibility to embrace the new world order.

The consumer wants digital media. It's up to news media to give it to them. You can blame news media for not investing in technology to make a profilt. How is it that Google can make so much money AND even pay bloggers (like Toronto Mike). How is it that a pleothra of social media sites, ALL who employee technical people making good incomes manage to make a profit? Why is it that all this old media seems unable to profit?

The answer is simple. It's a lack of vision & understanding of new media. Buried in a box on a hard drive I have a convo with a former MD of CFNY in the 90s. I asked him why they were not using streaming audio. The answer was that they didn't see it adding any value to the station. Later, 102.1 became one of the Top 10 most streamed radio stations in the world. Or how come you couldn't text the DJ until recently and if you did it often cost you 50 cents? Print media is exactly the same. For example, take The Star. They made a very nice app for iPad yet no thought was given to including advertising IN the articles. Wha? You can't find a way to replicate the newspaper in digital form on a tablet? I can download a book that's a replica of the paper copy. Why not a newspaper? It might mean some pain hiring people to develop things but the cost would be offset by laying off all the union printing guys.

I'm not a proficient programmer but I can code (I'm a forensic/security/data analyst). Why can't a newspaper create an app & have a digital paper copy delivered to your iPad daily? FREE? Hey, why haven't restaurants gone to using tablets so patrons can order food (faster and more efficiently). Why can't I see where my city bus is using GPS and a basic app hooked into a back end database?

Why? Because all these industries are too often owned by dudes who just don't get technology. Media dudes live in the past. Go to any media forum and that is what you will see. And dear GOD if you dare challenge that "1974 mentality". You will be labelled a "troll" and "jealous and bitter" because hey, you didn't choose to go work in a dying, 20th century industry.

August 13, 2013 @ 2:41 PM


@AFKAI; a long winded speech that covered nothing new. I am not labelling you a troll, but maybe someone who over thinks miniscule points. But look at the bright side with the advent of the keyboard, you no longer have to search for that elusive woman.

August 13, 2013 @ 2:59 PM


@AFKAI (14:41)
A pox upon all their houses - I say. But, between all of the interconnected 'identities', I'll take the old (first-world and here) men every time.
The average 'white male geezer' may think he's still living in 1974, but he'll also have that core professional's tunnel vision to achieving an objective at his very best. If nothing else.
I'm not as old (or much involved), but I'm old enough to have followed the computer field's long-term overall devolution of programming's group think bloat and dumb-downed indirection.

August 13, 2013 @ 3:20 PM


I used to work for an even more short-sighted old media company. Such a shit show.

The entire company's leadership was incapable of understanding a digital strategy or web design, yet all had opinions on it and wouldn't tolerate dissent. The executive editor was a pompous fop constantly demanding asinine and eye-bleedingly atrocious changes for the main news site, yet didn't actually ever use the web himself. Same douche would make statements like, "we make more money on print ads, we should just shut down the entire IT department".

The company only stays in existence by selling off its physical assets. It once was great, but when the founder passed away, his heirs apparently all shared half a brain. Much like the Eaton family.

August 13, 2013 @ 4:01 PM



So the decline of the old guard of media is "miniscule" is it? LOL, well how about that. Oh, I'm married brother, but good try *wink*. Now as for me being a troll, I'm not a troll at all. I WAS a troll in the past. If you're going to attempt to troll me using lame stuff like "now I have a keyboard I can get a wife" you need to try harder. WAY harder dude. Ya know, death threats, etc. Make em good though because it's good to tell my red team. PS. Make sure you use Windows or Mac too OK. Makes the Javascript easier


That former boss is really going to get run over by the technology freight train when the "Internet Generation" becomes the target demo for their product. What's geeky to Gen X or the Baby Boomers is status quo to them. Shit, they teach fucking CISCO in schools now. These kids are wired & they can't remember a time when there wasn't an internet. I read an article a while ago that online radio listening was actually HIGHER than over the air after a certain time in the day. The CBC had an article last month showing that 25% of 25 & under's had "cut the cable cord". Look at the moderator of this forum. The job he has didn't exist 10 years ago. If print media thinks that generation is going to have the local newspaper delivered at 6 AM, they're out of their mind. The world will be 24/7 & it will be entirely on-demand..and that's what younger people want.

A lot of those who are computer illiterate can't fathom how wired this generation is. And it's only going to get more so. Link below tells you that 2.5 million Pandora activations have happened in automobiles in the USA in just HALF a year. That's a number that traditional media players can't even fathom. Yet, print media thinks that everyone is going to keep getting the Star delivered & read it on the GO Train.

When this Internet generation becomes the "target demo" the fucking SHIT will hit the fan.

August 13, 2013 @ 5:47 PM


Well, tomorrow at 2:00 I'm having a meeting, a conference call with some people in the States. It's just to make sure I can get everything to work with Jaws. Anyway, voice recognition is not perfect at all. They say it is close about 80% perfect, but I don't think so, probably 60% perfect at most. Anyway, for voice recognition, I just delete the whole thing that is already typed and type it myself. Editing what's there is just as slow as typing the whole thing.

August 13, 2013 @ 6:07 PM


@afaki, Cisco was actually an option for me in grade 10, in 1997.

August 13, 2013 @ 6:18 PM


"Now as for me being a troll, I'm not a troll at all. I WAS a troll in the past."

Yeah guys! Irvine hasn't been a troll, for gosh, at least two weeks now. Cut him some slack!

July 31, 2013 / 21:09

LOL, actually you're wrong Corey. As I explained before, I simply enjoy trolling you. I say anything and everything solely to piss you off.

August 13, 2013 @ 6:37 PM


The Toronto Star's 'Paywall Programming in Action':
Um, just clear your older Firefox browser history. And another 10 free articles countdown. Just as with the Toronto Sun's 20 free articles before a monthly paywall countdown.
(I haven't tried any other browsers. Some articles counted, some apparently didn't.)
When I did hit 0 - after clearing their pop-up window, it automatically redirected the my browser tab back to their main webpage. So I never did get to read the last article - until I reloaded it later on.

August 13, 2013 @ 6:47 PM


@afaki ***yawn*** you sure seem to have yourself convinced. As they say in your "Super Mario" world, I pwnage you.

August 13, 2013 @ 7:13 PM


CQ: It's not bad programming... it's just a gentle nag to get you to pay. There's not really anything they could do to lock it down 100% without being aggravating to their paying customers.

August 13, 2013 @ 7:26 PM


@Corey. And you haven't been a troll in oh, 2 hours. You fail to realize I don't troll this site. I troll YOU lol. And proof of my success is you spent time seeking out a quote I made 2 weeks ago.

@ycagwyw. That pwn didnt work either but here's a tip how you could do it

- download Kali Linux
- find vulnerabilities in this site
- hack this site, find the IP of mine that you can geo-locate
- Hope I'm not running Octopus tunnelling
- Set out to find me. Hope I'm not running Octopus tunnelling
- locate me
- use NMAP to set off my CISCO ASA
- Find my house
- drive by on a Harley Fatboy
- shoot out the windows with a prohibited weapon acquired in the Downtown Eastside

Do that and we'll talk about pwning. Otherwise, go back to the old age home & yell at a few clouds. OH and STOP being a troll.

CQ: Works on every browser. Seems like a pretty lame ass way to block people. Or maybe they don't want too?

August 13, 2013 @ 8:57 PM


@Irvine -

Are you ever going to get your story straight, even in your own head? One moment you're just a "persona" created to annoy people, one moment you're claiming you USED to be a troll, and the next you're claiming you only troll me. I can't keep up. It looks like since you've returned, you've continued in your trend of winning friends and influencing people, eh slick? LOL! Maybe you should stick to your exciting world of writing letters to transit magazines. Now what's your quaint term again...

August 13, 2013 @ 10:23 PM



Winning friends & influencing people? LOL. Am I trying to get buddy buddy with Argie? Or maybe I'm trying to cozy up with Mike?

Funny how not a single comment was directed toward you on this "Open Mike" yet you had to comment & challenge me. Even when I wasn't POSTING on this blog you had this fixation with me. Anyone & everyone that doesn't agree with you who isn't a regular is me. STALKER. I've been write printing you of late & I've made some interesting comparisons. I think you might be a stalker.

Writing letters to transit magazines. LOL what? I've been accused of many things but never that.

Seriously Corey, do you drink?

August 13, 2013 @ 10:48 PM


@Nigel Trousershrapnel

That girl on Christian Mingles..that's me.

August 13, 2013 @ 10:59 PM


@ Irvine -

Let me spell it out for you - the "winning friends" comment was sarcasm, since you're ability to accumulate enemies is astonishing.

@ Everyone else -
After reading over my exchanges with Irvine, I realize I've helped to contribute to the general tailspin these Open Mikes have been in, and I apologize.

This Open Mike, even when you remove any of my comments directed to Irvine, is sort of a joyless experience, where the few bright spots are eclipsed by long, boring harangues about how stupid people are if they can't see how paywalls are a bad idea.

I used to think Irvine was just an egotistical douche, and I didn't hesitate to point that out whenever the opportunity presented itself. But when someone makes veiled threats about committing illegal acts (hacking this site, possession of illegal weapons) it becomes obvious we're dealing with a fragile, unbalanced person. That's where I draw the line.

From here on out, I'm going to ignore Irvine, and hopefully the quality of the Open Mike's will return.

August 14, 2013 @ 7:06 AM

Ben Vidal


Facebook. I generally use Facebook to creep all of the girls that I used to go to high school with. I like to know that the ones that were too hot to give me a second thought in high school now look like Drag Queens or should be going on America's biggest loser. I also like to keep my prospects open so that when the majority are divorced in the next 5 years I've got an in. I digress though.

The rant is as follows. I have now realized that most people on Facebook are witless fools. Facebook has also become one big circle jerk. All the people with newborns or young kids post about 3 million photo's a day. It's at the point where I think I know more about their kids than I do my brother and sister by the time I've finished a quick check of Facebook. Then comes the worst part. The like's and comments.

See you can't post a picture on Facebook or make a statement without people liking it or commenting on it. Why? Because if someone doesn't like your post or comment it means your a loser! So what do people do? They comment and like everyone elses pictures, that way everyone else will like their photo's and comment on their asinine posts. There was one person I turned off all updates from, because she had posted 85 pictures one day of her two young kids. Now those 85 pictures weren't from a family trip or a weekend at a wet park. Those 85 pictures were from THAT ONE @#$@ing DAY!!! What was worse people liked and commented on all photo's. BARF

Then comes the useless status's that are posted simply for the fact that they want people to ask them whats wrong or say oh no.

Excerpt from this week "Woke up to a flat tire... Great way to start the work week " or the all time favorite "'m going to have a baby Niece in December!!! Yes! Can't wait to meet her, and buy her first pair of figure skates!!" Who the eff cares if you are going to have a niece. In my mind nobody, but apparently that was enough to illicit 4 comments and 32 likes. One person I know who liked that status has no form of relation to this person other than the fact they work with her and know none of her family.

Lastly are the ugly people. I'm sorry that's not fair lets refer to them as attractive-anorexic. It's not as judgmental. Anyways not everyone in the world is a Brad Pitt or Jennifer Anniston( insert any actress or actor you think is attractive). So when attractive annorexic people or overweight heffers post pictures, I can't for the life of me understand why people use some of the comments they do. Words like stunning, breathtaking, gorgeous, beautiful, statuesque. I know that my eyesight isn't off, because I've downed a 12 pack of beer before, logged on and tried to see if suddenly things have gotten better for some of these pictures. I can tell you that they have not and it would most likely require 12 more beers before I might be able to consider one of them attractive.

So my question is do people comment on how beautiful or good looking these ugly and fat people are so that when they post a picture the others will say the same thing?

Is this not ruining the use of words like beautiful, gorgeous and stunning to the point where they don't mean anything?

Anyone else agree or disagree?

August 14, 2013 @ 8:55 AM


@ Corey you have actually added to the quality of the recent Open Mike's. I do believe that you hit the nail on the head when you state that Irvine is a fragile and unbalanced person. I do however get a laugh when he starts with his threats as it reminds me of grade school playground antics such as "my dad can beat up your dad" arguments when the kid posing those threats knows that he cannot beat the other.
It is sad that unlike most people that formed friendships during their formative years, Irvine fell in love with his keyboard and never did learn social skills. Once he gets back on his meds I am sure he will be fine.

August 14, 2013 @ 8:58 AM

Mississauga Phil

@ Ben - You hit the nail on the head there man. Facebook has become unbearable.

When I took my son to MarineLand, I had a few friends of mine say "where are the pics on Facebook"

My response was that I don't need my 5-year old's picture all over the's just asking for trouble. If you want to see the pictures, come for a visit and I'll show you them. Just like friends used to do.

August 14, 2013 @ 9:12 AM


@ Ben -

Yup, completely agree about FB. I've actually got a couple people I filter out because of their banal, incessant posts. "Great workout today! So sore, but it's worth it!", or "Michael's soccer team won 3-0! So proud of my little man!"

People who use photos of their kids as their profile pic really irritate me too. Guess what - are you so in to living vicariously through your children that you forget you have your own identity?

I actually find Facebook useful for sharing pics, especially for family and friends who live far away, but unlike most of the lazy asses who think everyone is going to care, I set the share settings to only those friends who are going to be interested in the specific pictures.

August 14, 2013 @ 9:31 AM



You're expecting too much from Facebook, or have the wrong people added, but then that's no surprise since,

I generally use Facebook to creep all of the girls that I used to go to high school with. I like to know that the ones that were too hot to give me a second thought in high school now look like Drag Queens or should be going on America's biggest loser. I also like to keep my prospects open so that when the majority are divorced in the next 5 years I've got an in.
August 14, 2013 @ 9:34 AM

Ben Vidal

@ Markosaar: That was a joke. funny how two other posters got that, but you didn't.

August 14, 2013 @ 9:38 AM


@ Ben
Effing brilliant post. We must have the facebook friends. I made sure to write "facebook" because there's no way in hell I would have these people as my real friends.

I reached the boiling point with one "friend" after updated his status with a picture of his teenage son posing with his new Jaguar. The caption read something like "Look at Tyler's Jag - he now has his own Jag to match his older brother's Jag."

Sure, its fun to see how moronic people can be but in good conscience I had to remove him as a friend.

August 14, 2013 @ 9:38 AM

Mississauga Phil

@ Argie - Silliest Facebook post of my week:

A former co-worker (in his late 30's) decides to write on the wall of his girlfriend (in her early 20's, which should tell you all you need to know about this guy). "you are the love of my life, i don't know how I survived without you"

Isn't that a sentiment that should be shared in private??

It's basically him whipping his dick out for all of Facebook to see, which kinda seems to be what most people do on Facebook these days.

August 14, 2013 @ 10:12 AM

Mississauga Phil

@ Corey - While I agree that most facebook posts are complete horseshit, I don't have a problem with a parent bragging about their kid winning a soccer game.....

Now, if said parent accompanied the post with 100 pics of "little man" running up and down the field...that's a different story.

August 14, 2013 @ 10:15 AM


Sorry, I was being overly flippant and edited it down too far.

But I guess my point still stands ... it's the people, and how you use it. I really hesitate to dismiss "most people [as] witless fools".

There are maybe two or three people out of the 300 or so on my list that aggravate me, but I haven't outright removed because of social awkwardness.

Just perusing my feed right now I see all sorts of things interesting to me:

-Baltic issues (
-an update from, my favourite store for shaving supplies
-people reminiscing about the blackout ten years ago
-brother updating to say my nephew is off for his last day of daycare ever
-articles about the Putin's homophobic laws (
-ice cube trays for making speed-chess pieces :)
-stuff about the Charlatan's drummer passing away
-some maps putting things into context (
...and a video of a penguin being tickled. Damnit.

Yeah there's some noise I don't care about, but it's simple enough to scroll past. I generally dislike people's posts about their food or diets the most, but even then every once in a while I see something really eye-catching or new-to-me that I'd like to make for myself.

I agree someone posting 85 photos a day is stupid, specifically if it's not all in one post, but other than that, I find it's easy enough to just ignore it.

August 14, 2013 @ 10:43 AM


Here’s my beef with Facebook, or rather, its users. Stop sharing bullshit on Facebook that is the equivalent of spam forwards in email. What the hell, people? There is NO reason that I should have to sort through my feed with groans of disgust and annoyance on my blog’s feed. I use this Facebook account to get away from all of that bullshit. Enough is enough!

Yes, I hate cancer. No, I don’t want that kid to die. Sure, I believe in God. No, I don’t think that men should be allowed to rape women and get away with it. Of course I am horrified by the death of a cop at the hands of a bad guy. What I don’t like and don’t want to do is LIKE that status just because some horrible karmic fate may befall me if I don’t. When did chain letters come to Facebook? More importantly why the fuck are you perpetuating it!?

Every time I think that I can tolerate my Facebook feed idiots prevail and I want to throw my computer out the window. As a society where does the need come from to cause guilt and force people’s hands? More over why does ANYONE cave to this and play along. Where are all the people standing up and saying, “WHAT THE HELL?” No, instead there are THOUSANDS of likes and comments on a post about a beautiful girl with cancer with the heading “Like if you want her to live”. Well, of course I want the poor kid to live but my ‘liking’ her picture is not going to save her life.

Am I missing something? Is there a dollar donated for every ‘like’? In that case I’ll like the shit out of it. Until such a time though that my ‘liking’ magically saves the day…get out of my face. Until your Facebook rants actually lead to ANY kind of action, like I don’t know, fundraising, volunteering your time, becoming active in community outreach, or any other ACTION…stop being holier than thou about your involvement in the “fight” against (fill in the blank).

The joys of the Internet are that you can voice your opinions and vent your frustrations. I appreciate your patience while I lose my shit on Facebook. I promise that I won’t mind if you call me out on any annoying Facebook behavior. I try to be respectful of people’s timelines/feeds. If you haven’t added me yet on Facebook or liked my page, please do so now. I promise you won’t be getting any annoying crap from me.

August 14, 2013 @ 11:02 AM


When it comes to facebook, what really annoys me are the parents with their one-of-a-kind kid. Their entire life revolves around this one kid they and their spouse managed to conceive. Every effing ice cream cone, soccer game, amusement ride I have to see a picture. That kind of shit is for grandparents and maybe aunts and uncles (even that's a hit and miss thing at best).

You can always spot these parents with their kid at any public place. They always seem to be shooting a thousand pictures of that kid with their $2000 Nikon.

Here's an idea: try to have a second and maybe a third just so you change things up a bit and not focus your entire life on that one sure-to-be spoiled brat kid.

August 14, 2013 @ 11:08 AM


@Corey and @ycagwyw

Actually BOTH of you are the REASON why Open Mike. None of my comments were inflammatory nor were any directed at you UNTIL you attacked ME. In fact, I seem to have pretty civil conversations with other people.

As for the ludicrous claim I threatened to "hack" this site, oh please lol. I told @ycagwyw how to pwn me slick. I said he'd have to hack this site to get my IP. You DID read that, right? Good work on twisting words. What's next, I have a beer & it's actually me chasing the dragon in an alley in the DTES.

Now, my "illegal weapons"? I'd be careful making bold statements which accuse me of possessing illegal firearms in a public forum. Owning a handgun in Canada is not illegal provided you complete the proper licensing and education. The RPAL allows you to own a RESTRICTED weapon. A RESTRICTED weapon is different than a PROHIBITED weapon (fully automatic assault rifle, etc). There are also ATT (authorization to transport) and, on rare occasions, ATC (authorizations to carry). ATC is quite rare in Canada but granted to civilians on occasions (like a Brinks truck guard). Offhand i think there are about 3500 issued in Canada (holstered and concealed).

BTW, how am I responsible for the decline of Open Mike? It was a shit show when I wasn't here.

August 14, 2013 @ 11:10 AM

Mississauga Phil

@ Argie - I hear you. I love the hell outta my son, he is the most important thing in the word to me (as he should be). But that doesn't mean he is the most important thing in the world to everyone else......quite the contrary.

And yes, these parents spoil the hell out of their little princes and princesses,and then the kids start school and wonders why everyone else doesn't cater to their every whim like mom and dad do.

My folks always treated me well, I have great parents. But, Dad always made sure I understood that no one else in the world loves you like mom and dad, and you're going to be disappointed if you expect otherwise.

August 14, 2013 @ 11:43 AM

Nigel Trousershrapnel

Not surprised by your claim re: Christian Mingles. Obviously a site used by covert operatives from the radicalized left, however your picture was stunning, breathtaking, gorgeous, beautiful and statuesque. Although I recognize and respect your man-love for me, "we" could never happen. I could never match your intellect, your wit and dare I say it, your sassy-ness. Perhaps you could friend me on facebook, but strictly in a platonic sense (no nudie shots!).

Now on a totally un-related subject, my "poop camera", was installed yesterday. The security service suggested a stealth camera might be a suitable option, but I insisted on model that would be quite evident to the perpetrators to act as an admonition against further fecal offences. It's wifi capabilities allowed me to monitor the hall from comfort of my computer nook and last night, my began surveillance in ernest. Unfortunately, I had the premier episode of season four of Glee playing on the other monitor, the one where Rachel offends her dance teacher. A rather pedestrian story-line at best, but it was enough to send me to sleep for the rest of the evening. I awoke in the early hours of this morning to a blank monitor, then hurried out the hall to see what had unfolded as I slept. There was no bag of poop to be found until may gaze fell upon the "poop camera".
......the horror.....the horror.....
Well played Mrs. Jeffers... well played!
You have however, raised the stakes in a game that I was born to play.

August 14, 2013 @ 11:53 AM



Oh...and how about the fights that start from comments that you believe to be innocent or funny taken out of context by another "friend" unfamiliar with a certain issue...

A year ago I just stopped visiting Facebook for all the reasons mentioned above. My account is still active...I just don't sign-on.

I found this to be the best solution to the problem rather than losing or alienating some friends.

August 14, 2013 @ 11:55 AM


I deleted (or suspended since it never really deletes)because of the reasons that everyone has already listed. I stopped caring about the minutia of other people's lives.

And yes Phil...posting about your kid winning a stupid soccer game is pretty vapid. Kids will win and lose a lot of things in life, they don't need to be shared because in reality, no one else honestly cares. It's an attitude that so many parents have that I just don't follow.

And...this isn't an attack on why the judgement over a late 30s guy dating a woman in her 20s? Is that wrong in some way?

Anyway...Facebook is a great display of how our society thinks that everything they do is special and they need constant praise and reinforcement. I have great kids and they do great things. I don't judge it based on how many people click like.

August 14, 2013 @ 12:00 PM

Mississauga Phil

@ McNulty - Gonna have to disagree on posting about a kids victory, it's harmless and some people do care. To each their own I suppose.

As far as the age gap goes. I guess it's the specific scenario that bugs me. The guy in question is a career bartender, the girl in question started working with us when she was 16, as soon as she hit 19, the guy started creeping on her.

However, it was more the juvenile "need to put this on facebook so everyone knows how in love i am with her body...i mean her...

It reeks of high school, somewhere this dude hasn't been in almost 20 years.

August 14, 2013 @ 12:17 PM



Maybe you should post this article to your FB page. It might catch your photo-happy friend something to think about.

August 14, 2013 @ 12:25 PM



The parents of the one-of-a-kind kid have been around my entire life. While Facebook enables them, it also makes them easier to ignore as that stuff is being inflicted on you less in real life. Ideally. Hopefully.

Another thing I love about Facebook is no longer having to sit through narrated slideshows or photo albums.

August 14, 2013 @ 12:29 PM


I said "my entire life", because I suspect people weren't quite as narcissistic in decades past.

August 14, 2013 @ 12:29 PM


Here's a weird banal ridiculous conversation that I can't address on Facebook because I get ganged up on by all the Arts majors. It happened on someone else's wall today which is why I'm thinking about it.

Grammar nerds hate people using the word "literally" as it's usually 'intended' "figuratively". To me, it always seemed as if people were using it rhetorically as an exaggeration ... or even ... *drumroll* ... ironically. But nope, apparently anyone using the word is an ignorant boor.

The smugness with which my friends were discussing this article (and how the article itself is written) I found extremely off-putting:

August 14, 2013 @ 12:36 PM


Greek mythology says that Narcissus was so in love with his own reflection, he died staring at it. I wonder sometimes, when I read AFKAI daily rants, if we’re not in danger of witnessing a similar fate.

August 14, 2013 @ 12:42 PM


I am LITERALLY laughing out loud at Nigel's posts.

August 14, 2013 @ 12:51 PM

Mississauga Phil

@ ycagwyw - I'm assuming that stands for You Can't Always Get What You Want.

Did you used to post under another name, cause you seem new to me, but also seem to know our buddy Irvine (AFKAI). While I get that he can be irritating sometimes (never personally had an issue with him)and I've seen the Cory/Iv feud play out over the last year or so here, I can't see why you have a horse in this race.

August 14, 2013 @ 12:53 PM

Ben Vidal

@ Markosaar: well I guess you have only people added to your Facebook that would talk about things that interest you. I didn't say all people on FB. I did say most and I stand with most, that list is also growing. You can see by the responses of most people here that there is a tendency to agree with that statement.

Some of the same things you've indicated were in your feed I have also had today. I don't understand how "brother updating to say my nephew is off for his last day of daycare ever" is interesting, thought provoking or even remotely matters. Yes it's big for the kid, but he has no idea of facebook or even cares. For you if it's your brother one would think he would tell you in conversation or text. For all the people who aren't his brother, that's useless spam?

The list of people becoming witless grows each day with a la this gem today "Happy 4th birthday to my beautiful niece and nephew, Abby and Owen! Auntie Jessica is thinking of you both and sending big hugs and kisses from Belgium! Xxoo Happy belated 1st birthday Taylor! Sorry buddy that I missed it via Facebook but I did send you early bday wishes with mommy miss you all and love you Xxoo". WTF how is a 1 year old going to be tramautized by not receiving a facebook happy birthday, he won't ever know or care. SPAM

Parents of one of a kind kids are growing. The constant Facebook photo's is only the beginning. There was a time, when you pulled out a camera and captured a moment that was unique or captured a point in time that was important. You chose more wisely, you put more thought into the photo, you also cared more, because you remember that moment. Today parents take 3 million photo's because they can, hardly matter, and ever fewer could that person remember where and when that was taken or under what occasion.

@ Phil: I don't think it's important every time a kid wins a game. Sure be happy about a championship, or his/her first goal or a tournament. I think the rest of the time it doesn't matter to most. I'm not saying it doesn't matter at all, to you it's important and perhaps your inner circle. It just doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things to others on your facebook.

@ Argie: Most of these one of a kind kid parents are also the types that think their child has no faults at school. Having a mother for a teacher, the stories she shared. How kids in Grade 3 and 4 couldn't read, do regular math or properly function, but their parents thought they were in truth developing a time machine. Parents arguing that their kid wasn't a b student in this subject. Arguing to the point they went to a principal to have a grade 3 mid term report card changed. Talk about more time on your hands than GOD. I can only think they were hanging out with other parents of soon to be narcissistic kids comparing report cards and they couldn't be out done. It's rampant and it's getting worse, kids can't even deal with one iota of criticism now, without going catatonic. Like McNulty said it's the direction society is going where we believe everything we do is special and a constant need for praise and reinforcement.

August 14, 2013 @ 1:58 PM


It's interesting to me. Indicates my nephew is on his way to Kindergarden. Just another milestone towards personhood. I don't get to see my nieces and nephews particularly often so it's nice to be kept aware of these things.

August 14, 2013 @ 2:06 PM


@ mark & Ben
I have a brother-in-law who is one of those annoying one-child parents. I can guarantee one year from now when his kid finishes up with daycare, there will be a f/b status update. I can also guarantee I won't give a shit then.

Oh, and I'm one of those nerds who can't stand people misusing the word "literally". It "figuratively" drives me nuts!!!

August 14, 2013 @ 2:19 PM


@ Irv
Please give me an address so I can send you a mirror.

August 14, 2013 @ 2:23 PM

Mississauga Phil

@ Ben - Meh, I disagree about the sports thing, but it certainly isn't something I'm going to argue over. Agree to disagree.

However, those "my kid does nothing wrong" parents are the worst. My son got into a fight at school earlier this year (well...he's 5 so not really a fight, they pushed each other a bit). I show up for a meeting with the teacher and the parents of the other kid. The teacher lays out what happened (the long and the short is they argued over a toy in class, the kid tripped mine on the way to recess and a shoving started out in the yard). These parents sat there and called the teacher a liar, said there was no way their little Angel tripped anyone. The teacher again reiterated that she saw it with her own eyes....nope! Not their Little Johnny, he would never do that....

August 14, 2013 @ 2:31 PM


@Argie. 1501 Haro Street.

August 14, 2013 @ 2:45 PM


@Argie, I'll happily agree that it's extremely overused, regardless of intentions.

August 14, 2013 @ 2:45 PM


Well, the meeting I had today went okay. It was a conference call. It was about all the keyboard shortcut commands that work with the software and Jaws and being told that the voice recognition reports I get now are just drafts and one of these days there will be some good reports more to perfection with not so many edits. Anyway, getting closer and closer to hockey season which I am looking forward to. The only sport on is baseball. That will be good when that changes.

August 14, 2013 @ 6:15 PM

Mike from Lowville

@Ben Vidal I don't spent much time on the 'puter or watching TV in the Summer, just too darn busy enjoying the outdoors around my house. Like Mike says I check in once and a while. This time I wanted to see what was being said about Freddy P's good buddy, Piss tank Ford.

August 14, 2013 @ 6:20 PM

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