More Observations By FRUSTRATED AT 50

guest blogLast week, a reader who calls himself herself FRUSTRATED AT 50 wrote a guest blog about his her difficulties finding a job. Last I checked there were 45 comments on that entry, which either means FRUSTRATED AT 50 struck a chord or he's she's paying his her friends to comment.

FRUSTRATED AT 50 has written a second entry, and this one is about you damn kids!!! (shakes fist). Enjoy.

Has anyone noticed how rude people in our society have become? Why are older people not treated by the younger generation with the dignity and respect they deserve? From what I can see, young people treat eveyone equally =- there is no longer any distinction between those that are older , and those their own age, parents included, They seem to really make no distinction based on age - how sad!

Growing up, we were taught to revere and respect those older than us . In our world, there does not only seem to be a lack of respect for those older, but, for authority figures in general . Is that the fault of how we are raising these kids, is it the world in which these kids are living , is it the fractured families and high divorce rates? what is it? the influence of the media ? the music ? are the old ways of treating others, no longer applicable in todays world?

How about driving on our roads these days? When was the last time you were needing to merge into another lane, only to have other cars speed up , deliberately, just not to let you in!? And how about when someone does let you in , what happened to the wave of thanks ....now , no wave , no thank you.

What ever happened to "please" and "thank you" - a thing of the past too ? And " you are welcome" has been replaced by" no problem" = what is that???

Holding doors open for the person ahead of you or behind you = is that a thing of the past ? I have had the door, slammed right in my face , by the person ahead of me, clearly oblivious to their ignorance.

And how about addressing adults or people in authority as Mr. or Mrs. Ms. - everyone is on a first name basis with everyone, regardless of age .....teachers, parents, receptionists, everyone is addressed , as if they know you personally, regardless of whether they do or do not.

What about parking in a busy parking lot? What happened to whoever got there first, deserves the spot - how many times have people aggressively grabbed the spot you were so patiently and courteously waiting for?

And how about movie theaters and people having their cell phones ringing or worse, their blackberry screens lighting up all over the theatre , like a Christmas tree? And what about the people in the theatres that are commenting on everything that appears on the screen throughout the movie?

And what about your neigbors who cannot be bothered to walk their dogs and instead put them out in their backyards, while all the neigbors need to listen to this dog bark incessantly and disturb all the neigbors around for miles? Until these dog owners decide that they now are good and ready to let the dog back in the house and restore peace to the neighbourhood .

How about the neigbors who decide to start their lawn-mowing/snowblowing at 6 am on a Sunday morning? How about consideration - does it still exist? and it is usually those same people who encourage their children to play on their driveways with basketballs at 6 am on a Sunday morning!

And let's talk about a well advertised super sale in a store where there are hundreds of shoppers vying for the same item only to get trampled .........again with no apologies ? It seems as if our society and the people in it, no longer expect decent behaviour. It seems anything goes.

How about granchildren that are so self consumed that when their grandparents call them on their cell phones, and leave messages, those calls are not even returned - do people in their 80's now need to text their grandchildren to get their attention? how sad is that! What about going out of your way to visit those same grandparents that they cannot be bothered to call back = drop by and say hello - that too, is unheard of!!

And don' t get me talking about the age of screening your callers, letting your answering machine pick up your calls and no longer needing to actually take the calls - what happened to the days of not knowing who was calling and actually picking up the phone and being surprised and delighted by the call? are those days done too???

What else ? let' s see = how about snapping your fingers at a waiter to get their attention - I am sure that has been happening forever, but truly, it is the height of rudeness.

What about this new thing of when you are wrong and have hurt another person that it seems not to phase some folks? Have we become so desensitized in our world that we no longer care about the next guy?

Should we go back to my favourite topic of job hunting in today's work world? Where you show up for the interview earlier than scheduled, hoping to make a good impression, and find yourself having to wait at least a half hour beyond your scheduled time - payback for you being early - presumably!!

How about when you leave voice messages for people and it takes them days and sometimes a week to call back, claiming they are so busy and did not have a minute - are they the only ones that are busy?? - presumably!!

I hate that term = " busy " - it is , as far as I can see, the translation for= "cannot be bothered "- translation - you don't matter to me.

I guess what I am trying to get at, is that, it would appear in my opinion, that being well mannered and polite is no longer the norm in the world we are living in. It seems that everyone acts independently, often with no regard for those around us.

When I started asking friends and family , for their thoughts on this topic, they overwhelmingly agreed that decency and care for others seems really to have gone by the wayside.

Your thoughts ? Your experiences? Your beefs? Do share !!!


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Comments (49 - click here to join in!)

Teena in Toronto

As someone who will be 50 next summer ...

I hate when someone calls me "Ms. Lastname" or "ma'am" ... my name is "Teena" and I'm okay that you use it.

I always give a wave when someone lets me in in traffic. I agree it's rude when people don't.

Cell phones in theatres is RUDE. Last year a fella in front of me was texting during the movie. I asked him to stop and he got offended. I said, "Dude, you're at a movie!!"

As for screening my calls, you've made the decision to call me. I can made the decision not to answer. I didn't ask you to call me.

I find service in a lot of restaurants slack and if you have to snap your fingers (which I would never do anyway) to get your server's attention, you do what you've got to do. Customer service in general seems to be lacking a lot today.

November 28, 2011 @ 9:37 AM

dale

I'm over 50 also & I COULD NOT AGREE more on all of your opinions.

One of my beefs in people constantly on cell phones, Ipods, etc. while shopping or even walking on the street. I saw a woman last weekend walk into a display at a store & knocked items off while texting. I saw she was going to hit it but didn't say anything. I should have but knew she wouldn't get hurt - except her pride.

November 28, 2011 @ 9:38 AM

Mississauga Phil

I'm only 30, but I agree with a lot of what was said here.

@Frustrated - for whatever it's worth, I'm raising my son (currently 4) to say please and thank you, and to appreciate his grandparents (without whom I would not have been able to support him through the first few rough years), and all the other common courtesies you mentioned, that don't seem to be too common anymore.

November 28, 2011 @ 9:52 AM

J9

Seems to me you got up on the wrong side of the bed. Yes, many people (of all ages) are rude, pushy, aggressive. Yes we all have pet peeves. Yes, we could all learn to be more courteous, patient, etc., etc.

Young people get a bad rap. They are not all insensitive, unpolite jerks. They are, however, a reflection of the way they are being raised. Look to the parents, and role models. And be a positive role model yourself.

When you are dealing with cashiers, and people in the front line of customer service, do you greet them with a "good day"? Smile? Or do you let your bad mood extend to all of your communications?

You get what you give. If you want politeness, give it. If you want the door held for you, hold it for the person behind you. You teach by example. Pay it forward. Smile. I don't care how old you are - you get the respect that you give.

November 28, 2011 @ 10:12 AM

Wayner

Frustrated... your previous post about job-hunting was insightful and rang true for a lot of us.

However, this post is simply whining. It is the "over 50's" ("baby-boomers") who are/were responsible for the youth and the world we live in today. So if you want to assign blame you have no further to look than your own backyard. As J9 said "You get what you give"

November 28, 2011 @ 11:01 AM

IMHO

Frustrated at 50 needs to get laid.

November 28, 2011 @ 11:19 AM

elvis

I teach my daughter to be polite because it's what right and not because of what you should expect in return.

While 50 makes some great points, she comes across as someone who needs to look at the glass half full.

November 28, 2011 @ 11:27 AM

Ryan G

How about this one for a new low?

My wife was walking home the other day and some scumbag on a bicycle rode by and spat directly on her.

She came home, obviously upset, and I jumped in the car to go look for (and pummel) this dirty son of a bitch.

No luck, but you can imagine how enraged I was. What kind of person would do this? How would this guy feel if I did that to his girlfriend, or mother?

I have my theories as to why this happened, but that's a whole other discussion.

November 28, 2011 @ 11:37 AM

The_Voice

I think people are still surprisingly courteous. At a grocery store, I had one item in my hand to purchase, and chose a line I had no problem waiting in. The gentleman in front of me, unloading a rather large grocery cart simply told me to go right ahead of him. It made my day, and I thanked him considerably (he was being practical - he was still unloading by the time I was heading to the exit).

As for screening calls: I'd always hated talking on the phone. I try to avoid calling people, and have never been "surprised and delighted" by a phone call.

That said, I will never screen a call from family or someone I know. I'm mainly screening unknown phone calls. Also, I prefer texting because I like to give people a chance to respond when they have a chance - not when they're in the middle of eating, not when they're struggling to leave the washroom or the shower, not when they're getting dressed, etc.

November 28, 2011 @ 11:48 AM

Irvine

Indeed, F@50, there is a great deal of rude, boorish behavior in the world. It's ironic to have you whining about it because it's YOUR generation that created this world.

How about Rob Ford? He's a fine example of an impatient, arrogant asshole with little regard for others. Who do you think voted him in dude? It was more likely a 50 year old than it was a 25 year old. I wonder what would happen if the 25 year old voted? Oh wait, I know, they might elect someone like Naheed Nenshi who just happens to be a polite, cultured guy. Hmmmm.

But now comes the part where "Irvine" blasts you and enrages this forum. Let me tell you why dude. YOU deserve it. Wanna know why?

It was YOUR generation that buried this country in debt. You voted for governments that amassed HUGE deficits & debts. All the while you had an elevated sense of entitlement. You demanded wider roads. You expected the public purse to pay for your low cost tuition so you could get a good job.

AND, it was you that took their kids shopping or sat them in front of a TV instead of being their parents. You were just too busy. Too busy working to get MORE shit to pile up in your house. And your actions taught your kids that life is all about materialism.

And then what happened? You got old & bitter. And then you realize the country was buried in debt. And your answer? You demanded the government cut back on things. And you wanted lower taxes forcing cutbacks to things like education or child care. But when they tried to cut back your benefits you get while you "snow bird" in Florida, you freaked out. All the while some 23 year old kid is saddled with 12 years of student loan payments. OH, and if you went out and bought 3 cars & can't pay for them, YOU can go bankrupt. That same kid can't.

So don't go pissing all over the rest of the world and it's faults slick. Start taking a look at your own. It's YOUR generation that's all about having it YOUR way.

YOU raised your kids and told them "Look out for number 1". YOU taught your kids that "success" is material gain & wealth. YOU taught your kids you were entitled to more more & more. YOU wanted to give your kids a "better life" which really meant getting more stuff. YOU built a society where recreational shopping is now considered a "past time".

YOU think the world revolves around you. That's CLEAR as a bell in this post. Maybe that's why everyone seems like an asshole to you slick.

I'm not a biblical guy but "yee reap what yee sow" comes to mind.

PS: AND it is YOU that are angry because you can't get a job. BUT..I can bet you 10 bucks that it was you that wasn't going to hire that "weird kid with the fishhook in his nose". Now that kid with the fishhook in his nose runs the show. I guess he had a long memory.

November 28, 2011 @ 12:44 PM

AUTHOR OF THIS ARTICLE

My intent of this article was to point out the prevalence of rudeness in our world - it transcends age, race , culture, education, status in ,life and crosses into every sector. At NO TIME IS ANYONE TO THINK THAT MY ARTICLE IS GEARED TOWARDS YOUNG PEOPLE. Again the lack of caring towards others in the world is not specific to any one age group and at no time was this article geared for any specific group , but rather to the world at large.

November 28, 2011 @ 12:56 PM

elvis

@IMHO - add Irvine to that list.

November 28, 2011 @ 12:57 PM

Mississauga Phil

I'm loathe to admit it, but Irv does have a point about the "boomers".

While I agree that courtesy and respect are missing form a lot of places is society, the boomers have been running the show while our society has declined and now it's left to my generation to clean it up.

@Irv, as per usual, you do come off as condecending while making a valid point. I agree with your sentiment, but not with your delivery....

November 28, 2011 @ 12:58 PM

AUTHOR OF THIS ARTICLE

irvine - fyi = I have been in the position many times through the years to hire staff and have hired some wonderful people , both young and older that do not fit the mold and dance to their own beat - they turned out to be my best hires, by far. So don't rush to judgement about where I stand on stuff - especially if we don't see things the same way - everyone is entitled to their opinions...thankfully, we still live in a democracy

November 28, 2011 @ 1:00 PM

Don (Irvine) Cherry

I like this guy!

November 28, 2011 @ 1:11 PM

Steve

FRUSTRATED AT 50? Sounds more like FRUSTRATED AT 150! Good lord my friend, lighten up.

Yes, parts of the world suck really, really bad. I hate some of the things people do just as much as you, but I'll tell you something. I've only been around for 32 years, but I think I'm reasonably smart and observant. and one of the things i've observed in my travels is that there are pricks in every generation. Being a prick isn't an age thing, it's a being a prick thing. I was raised to be respectful, but I was also taught that you don't necessarily have to respect somebody who doesn't respect you even if he is old. Respect is earned by one's actions, not by the numbers on one's birth certificate. The world could always do with more kindness and civility, but to pin it all on technology and young people is ridiculous. Like I kind of said before, there have been jerks since the dawn of time and there always will be. And as loaded with suck as it is, we just have to deal with it. All you can do is be the best person you can be. If you want kindness, be kind. It won't always work, but what does? Don't let it stop you. Treat people the way you want to be treated and it'll work out more often than it won't.

And a note on call screening. I do that, and I make no apologies for it. Telephones give me headaches, so rather than a delightful surprise, phone calls are a form of torture for me. Your delightful phone call is the death of the rest of my day because I'm in pain. So when it comes down to a choice between answering the phone or being able to live my life, the phone loses out many more times than it wins.

November 28, 2011 @ 1:18 PM

Irvine

@Mississauga Phil: Why shouldn't I be condescending? The author of this article IS just that. They place blame on everyone but themselves

@Author of this article: Look, you just don't seem to get it, do you.

It's YOUR generation (the Boomers) that are the architects of this world. You created AND nourished a place where the primary focus was on material acquisition & "me". Well when people are taught it's all about "me" guess what happens?

And this directly applies into your rant about how you can't get a job at 50. YOUR generation wanted "more for less". So business outsourced things. It went offshore to find cheaper stuff so you could get more for less. And then? They decided that it was better to hire a 35 year old that could work 55 hours a week for 2/3's of your salary. That saved the company money & allowed you to buy your widget for a lower price so you can have more money left to get more stuff.

F@50. Did it ever occur to you that you're just naturally negative? From what I read in your writing YOU see the bad side of everything.

You don't see the positive side of people, you see the negative. Did it EVER occur to you THAT MIGHT BE WHY YOU HAVE SO MUCH TROUBLE GETTING A JOB?

Here's your assignment F@50. I want you to go out and be nice to people. Smile and say good morning to everyone you interact with. If you see someone on the street smile at them. Guess what will happen? THOSE people will smile back at you. Imagine

Again, you reap what you sow.

November 28, 2011 @ 1:24 PM

bdiddy

hmmmm, yes i agree that manners/values have gone out the window, but those who are over 50 are the parents or grand Parents of those not well mannored.
I'm close to 40 with 2 kids under 7 and i am making sure that i instill these values.
Don't let up, don't be buddy- buddy with your kids or they will walk all over you and have no respect for elders.
parent your kids as you were parented in the 70's 80's and these values should come back.
Video games and TV's are not parents, you are! spend time with your kids.

November 28, 2011 @ 1:41 PM

AUTHOR OF THIS ARTICLE

STEVE - READ MY COMMENT ABOVE - as indicated it is a systemic problem not an age thing -

the owner of this blog torontomike wrote the note above about those damn kids - IT WAS NOT ME !!!there was never any time that I was looking to blame the young, just wanted to write about a systemic problem in our world - see my reply above,

November 28, 2011 @ 1:52 PM

andrew

I'm in my early 20's & was brought up in a family whereby you respect your elders & live a life & treat all other how you want to be treated - regardless of they treat you.

Life is too short & if we can all live our lives to the best we can, that is a positive for all of us.

I do agree with some of the author's points, but too NEGATIVE overall. Do you have any positives??

November 28, 2011 @ 2:33 PM

Ryan G

"I'll tell you who stole those lunches. It was that damn sasquatch that's who."

November 28, 2011 @ 2:42 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike

I'm going to jump in here...

Firstly, respect for others (not just respect for elders) is something I value and I teach my kids every day. They're only 9 and 7, but in my very biased opinion they're courteous, polite and good people. I teach them to treat others the way they'd like to be treated, it's that simple.

I think everyone can tell which text is mine and which belongs to FRUSTRATED AT 50. I wrote "this one is about you damn kids!!! (shakes fist)", obviously, because when FRUSTRATED AT 50 opened with the "young people don't respect their elders" rant, it reminded me of Andy Rooney and I just pictured FRUSTRATED AT 50 shaking her fist when she said it. Of course, at the time I thought FRUSTRATED AT 50 was a guy, so I envisioned this guy:

And finally, and I hate to say this, Irvine makes sense here. It's too bad he's been such an ass for so long, because he's not completely full of shit. Oh well...

November 28, 2011 @ 2:52 PM

Mississauga Phil

@ Irv - In this instance you may be justified in being condecending, the problem is you are that way all the time..it's akin to the boy who cried wolf...when you're a condecending prick all the time, you're good points get lost in a sea of Ani-Irv due to all the times you were a prick when you didn't need to be.

November 28, 2011 @ 3:47 PM

Maida

I have not really experienced much in the way of rudeness from anyone. Sometimes on the bus, however, I see these kids talking and using foul language all the time. Sometimes they are loud and annoying. But I have seen some kids who are really sweet and polite.

I do not have a cell phone so I also cannot understand the need of anyone needing to be on their cell phones or blackberries continuously. I also hate when I am out with anyone and their cell phone rings and they have to take the call and then you're sitting there and waiting. For me people can call me at home and leave a message.

I do return people's calls at my earliest convenience so I like the same respect from others too. Some of my friends call at least the same or next day but there are a couple who take a week or so.

Other than that I try to be polite and friendly to others and find that people for the most part are polite and say please and thank you. But there are those who tend to be rude. Guess you have to be lucky.

Good points made in all. I do hope that you do experience politeness from time to time. We should all try to be positive and hopefully others will follow suit.

November 28, 2011 @ 4:10 PM

Irvine

@Toronto Mike: You know Mike, even if you raise your kids properly they've got all kinds of external "forces" that could corrupt them. How do you explain Rob Ford to them? They watch the news and see the "leader" of Toronto acting like an asshole, mocking and speaking down to others.

I challenge you all to do this. Pay close attention to the world around you. Focus on every detail much like an artist would on his work. Then you will understand WHY we are where we are. What you'll see is sensory overload especially with regards to consumerism. Buy this, get that, look this way, do this, etc, etc, etc.

And our new digital world is to blame. We are fed a constant stream of information complete with constant imagery. If we're not on our dual monitor computes we're looking at our phone or our monster big screen TV. And everything, even TV shows, move incredibly rapidly. It's digital chaos man. And THIS makes us impatient.

Ask yourself this and be honest. How many of you can still not look at your iPhone or Android for an hour? How many of you can sit and read a book, uninterrupted for an hour? How many of you demand that things be open at all hours simply as a convenience?

Every so often work pulls me into the BC interior and it's then I realize how wound up modern life makes all of us. Once out in the isolation of Kicking Horse Pass or Rogers Pass, you realize what you've become. Just you and your vehicle, nothing on the radio but CBC. Your iPhone says "no signal" and it takes a while to stop looking at it. I spent 4 days stranded in the Rockies last winter behind a wall of avalanches that had closed the road. During that time I came to the realization that our world is fast. Crazy fast & we just never slow down. And, I realized that computers & the internet are a major cause. It's information overload man, tweets, FB, streams, constant news, texting, etc .

Yet in those remote places, where the 'Net, media & external influences don't exist humanity returns to you. And you realize the cranky, bitter & impatient world isn't the fault of corporations or marketing or some evil force. It's our own fault. We can't let it go. We become so incredibly self absorbed we forget that's around us.

If you want to understand what I mean, book a trip to a lodge on Great Bear Lake or hell, go stay in Field BC for a week (no phones, 250 people). Purposely disconnect yourself from the Grid.

We've created our ADHD fast food always on world. We are the architects of our own demise. We can no longer appreciate the most basic things. We are a society that is bored; one built around recreational shopping. A world where straight teeth in your mouth are more important than the words that come out of it.

Blame yourself. And then go sit on top of a mountain without a computer, phone, TV, etc and you'll get it.

November 28, 2011 @ 4:19 PM

Mississauga Phil

See Irv, that's how you make a VERY GOOD point without comming off as a prick....That sounds like a slice of heaven to me.

November 28, 2011 @ 4:29 PM

Keith

Another great observation by this author. She seems to tap into the experiences and frustrations we "past due" people have. I try to move from judgement to acceptance of the new world order...or "new normal" but it can be a stretch!

November 28, 2011 @ 4:32 PM

Jason Patterson

I enjoyed reading this piece, and I enjoyed reading Irvine's dead-on rebuttal even more.

I did not, however, enjoy reading the author back-pedal on her own words within the comments.

If you read the first paragraph of the initial rant, it is clearly talking about her perceived distinctions between young and old. She writes,

"Why are older people not treated by the younger generation with the dignity and respect they deserve?"

That right there is a statement about two groups - young -vs- old

"From what I can see, young people treat eveyone equally =- there is no longer any distinction between those that are older , and those their own age, parents included,"

Saying there is 'no distinction' would appear to mean you think there should be a distinction, and that all young people should respect all old people seeingly, in your eyes, regardless of the situation-

Yet in the comments section, the author then chooses to write,

"At NO TIME IS ANYONE TO THINK THAT MY ARTICLE IS GEARED TOWARDS YOUNG PEOPLE."

Wow, you really need to get into politics, Ms./Ma'am/Mrs. because that is a total 180.

If you're going to write an article and share it with this young and rude online generation, please be ready to stand behind the words that you have written.

I think you are asking people to be more decent and loving towards one another, which is fine... but to pretend your article was not about young -vs- old is nothing more than someone who doesn't want to stand behind their words when challenged.

November 28, 2011 @ 4:48 PM

dale

@Maida

Agree 100%.

Cell phones are for EMERGENCIES only & that's only reason I got one.


November 28, 2011 @ 4:52 PM

AUTHOR OF THIS ARTICLE

Again =this article was not written to pit one group against the other - it is simply my observations and my opinion as you are all entitled to yours equally.

November 28, 2011 @ 5:06 PM

Cheryl

Agree. Who needsd a cellphone anyway? We didn't have them years ago so why do people have them. Just leave a message and if it's important, I'll call them back. Go Habs.

November 28, 2011 @ 6:30 PM

Jason Patterson

Such a politician!

November 28, 2011 @ 6:56 PM

A friend

Today, we are all part of the cell phone generation: young and old(er). Obsessed with connecting all of the time, we have forgotten what it means to really connect. We all sit in front of each other, texting, SMSing, on our IPhones and Blackberries. Always trying to keep up, but not really keep in touch.

November 28, 2011 @ 9:00 PM

yoda's girl

I think the discussion here is great...

I think that the author makes some really good points - as does Irvine - I'd love to see them on a talk show!

It may be a bit unfortunate for @50 to have started the article with the age think and for Mike to rev it up with his comment, because I don't think that's where the rant was really meant to go.

It is amazing how our society has changed over the past few years. It has become meaner and more self absorbed. Raising mean kids isn't the burden of one generation -I see lots of 20 something parents calling their kids little shits and dropping the f word in conversation with them,, and letting them get away with murder in stores and restaurants - where will it stop - what kind of kids will these be?

I like Irvine's points about our culture - the media bombards us with meanies- Donald trump in the apprentice - the foul mouthed rude english chef who berates people, TV cops who rough up "alleged" criminals. its what we are taught - and we accept this training for ourselves and our children by clicking on the the show every week - we buy mean games for our children when killing people is nothing - women are portrayed as "ho's in almost every music videos - why would we respect any of these?
You are right @50 it is not just a generational thing.

Try living in Markham where is quite normal to see men blowing their nose onto the street by just blocking one side and blowing - where people just pull into your parking spot where you have been patiently waiting for the other driver to leave, where people will bump into you and practically knock you over to get ahead without a backwards glance. I moved here because it was such a nice neighborly community - not any more!

Before anyone accuses me, as they have the author of not being nice myself - I am a very happy, nice person. I talk to people I smile and I am nice to minimum wage employees and every one else. I still do the Canadian thing of saying sorry even if its not my fault - but I am waaaaayyy in the minority - our culture is changing and it ain't pretty.

The discussions around blaming one generation or the other for the "mess" - who cares - the point is - our society is not that nice any more, and I can tell from this discussion , most people are OK with that, because it was some else's fault -

November 28, 2011 @ 9:17 PM

yoda's girl

I think the discussion here is great...

I think that the author makes some really good points - as does Irvine - I'd love to see them on a talk show!

It may be a bit unfortunate for @50 to have started the article with the age think and for Mike to rev it up with his comment, because I don't think that's where the rant was really meant to go.

It is amazing how our society has changed over the past few years. It has become meaner and more self absorbed. Raising mean kids isn't the burden of one generation -I see lots of 20 something parents calling their kids little shits and dropping the f word in conversation with them,, and letting them get away with murder in stores and restaurants - where will it stop - what kind of kids will these be?

I like Irvine's points about our culture - the media bombards us with meanies- Donald trump in the apprentice - the foul mouthed rude english chef who berates people, TV cops who rough up "alleged" criminals. its what we are taught - and we accept this training for ourselves and our children by clicking on the the show every week - we buy mean games for our children when killing people is nothing - women are portrayed as "ho's in almost every music videos - why would we respect any of these?
You are right @50 it is not just a generational thing.

Try living in Markham where is quite normal to see men blowing their nose onto the street by just blocking one side and blowing - where people just pull into your parking spot where you have been patiently waiting for the other driver to leave, where people will bump into you and practically knock you over to get ahead without a backwards glance. I moved here because it was such a nice neighborly community - not any more!

Before anyone accuses me, as they have the author of not being nice myself - I am a very happy, nice person. I talk to people I smile and I am nice to minimum wage employees and every one else. I still do the Canadian thing of saying sorry even if its not my fault - but I am waaaaayyy in the minority - our culture is changing and it ain't pretty.

The discussions around blaming one generation or the other for the "mess" - who cares - the point is - our society is not that nice any more, and I can tell from this discussion , most people are OK with that, because it was some else's fault -

November 28, 2011 @ 9:18 PM

yod's girl

ooooopps sorry for the double click entry!!

November 28, 2011 @ 9:19 PM

Avrom Shtern

No doubt some young people are rude. But, I have seen others kids give up their seat on busses to seniors.

Go through newspaper and magazine archives of the 1960s, and you will find similar references.

I have heard of these complaints/observations throughout my conscious life. Go through newspaper and magazine archives of the 1960s for example, and you will find similar references.

Seniors saying that youngsters these days are worse than those who had preceded them is a common rejoinder. However, I do not buy it.

Profiling and reading people
are useful to some degree in everyday life. It allows us to make decisions.

But, bad behavior exists in all generations. This issue is beyond today, tomorrow and yesterday.

By the way I have not been paid for this comment.

November 29, 2011 @ 1:29 AM

Irvine

@Yoda's Girl

Much of modern media IS about being nasty. E-Talk, Iron Chef, Survivor, Restaurant Impossible, Cake Wars, etc. We even have Cupcake wars where potential pastry chefs are berated by professionals over a bloody cupcake (a cupcake is just a gay muffin FYI). So we're at the point in our civilization where we have to battle over a cupcake?

And look at media overall. Remember when A&E mean "Arts and Entertainment"? Now A&E plays Storage Wars or better yet, "Lady Hoggers" where two women with boob jobs AND long nails apparently live in Texas and hunt feral pigs. How far to the "angry" have we gone? Well CTS (Christian TV) now plays Little House on the Prairie, Gilligans Island & Beverly Hillbillies. These shows were once just normal TV.

I'm sure we'll have someone pipe up and blame TV but ask yourself this. Is TV the reflector or the director?

And you know what's REALLY twisted? Having advertisements about "Stop Bullying" during a show where some chef is screaming in the face of a subordinate because she cut the carrots wrong. Isn't that screaming angry chef essentially a bully himself?

I see modern TV and film as a reflector of our society (as I do music). The other day I was watching Wuthering Heights with Laurence Olivier (1939). Aside from being a great classic film, it's startling to watch because you realize how different society is. At one time perhaps we would have seen Heathcliffe (Laurence Olivier) as a hero. A well mannered, debonaire, gentleman who wanted to court (or woo) a woman. The woman (Cathy) plays the part of the classic woman.

Now, I recognize TV isn't reality and in the past society tended to hide it's problems versus being public about them. But there is a difference between hiding your faults & having manners & being polite.

Can you imagine Wuthering Heights in 2011? Heathcliffe would be looking to "tap that ho" and Cathy's MO would be "he better have money if he wants my honey". Little House on the Prairie would be "Little Rental Apartment in the 'Hood. Laura wouldn't fight Nellie Olsen, she'd bust a cap in her ass and put a hit out on Willie. Hell, Pa and Ma would be divorced with Pa doing Mr Edwards wife on the side.

Now, society back then was just as messed up as it is now. We had family violence, we had child abuse, we had teen pregnancy, we had drug abuse, we had alcoholism, we had prostitution. All those problems existed.

But what is different is we seem to aspire to be the thugs & bimbo's versus the Heathcliffe & Cathy's of the past. Yet we point fingers at TV for the decay in our society. We blame Walmart for the erosion of good working conditions. We blame greed for us beating the hell out of each other to get a cheap TV. Yet it's US that beats up someone to get that TV at Walmart to go home to watch the Snooki interview on E Talk.

Taylor Swift said it best in her song Mean

You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded
You, pickin' on the weaker man

Well, you can take me down with just one single blow
But you don't know what you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean

November 29, 2011 @ 10:44 AM

Irvine

@Irvine I'm beginning to think that commenting on blogs is your full time occupation.

November 29, 2011 @ 12:11 PM

Shane

Sorry, the above name was Shane, not Irvine.

November 29, 2011 @ 12:12 PM

Anonymous

Sounds like an Andy Rooney wannabe

November 29, 2011 @ 12:25 PM

Quinny

As the saying goes- we will eventually turn into our parents.

November 29, 2011 @ 12:28 PM

Irvine's_mom

Now Irvine, that's enough. Its a school night. Turn off your computer and go to bed. I'll be up to tuck you in ;o

November 29, 2011 @ 12:49 PM

Jacob

Who knew Grampa Simpson was a woman in Toronto?

Ya, all the things are pretty much true, but what use is it writing a 2000 word rant about it? Especially since, with a few minor adjustments, you can read the exact same rant in every decade throughout history?

Grow up.

November 29, 2011 @ 1:17 PM

Mississauga Phil

@ Irv - yeah and TLC stands for The Learning Channel...how is Toddlers & Tiara's or 19 kids about learning???

November 29, 2011 @ 1:18 PM

AUTHOR OF THIS ARTICLE

IRVINE -

I LIKED THE READERS IDEA OF US HAVING A TALK SHOW - HOW ABOUT IT ? A TALK SHOW FOR US TO BRING UP A TOPIC AND BRING IN A PANEL TO DEBATE THE ISSUES? ANY CONTACTS IN THE INDUSTRY SO YOU CAN GET THIS GOING?

November 29, 2011 @ 2:34 PM

MAIDA

Earlier I left my experiences with writer's thoughts but there is lot of truth in how people behave. Some people have been known to be rude but hopefully the majority of people are mature enough to know better or people can learn too from others.

November 29, 2011 @ 6:32 PM

yodasgirl

This a great conversation...so missing in our culture today! What a pleasure
@50 and Irvine - you are great! keep writing!

November 29, 2011 @ 10:43 PM

faye

I so agree! You are right on! I remember standing up for older people or pregnant women on the bus. I love it when children in the US call their parents' friends Miss "Marianne", instead of by their first name. And our respect for teachers...we can go on and on.

November 30, 2011 @ 1:33 PM

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