For Jason's Mom

guestblogI received an email from Jason N. earlier today. Here it is...

Hi Mike

I hope you're doing well.

First I want to say that I really enjoy your blog, aside of Daily Dose of Imagery, it's the only Toronto blog I go to everyday. Keep up the good work.

I know that there are times when people have submitted guest entries in the past and I was wondering if I could do the same. I just wanted to get something off my chest I thought I could use your platform... If what I've written doesn't work or fit in with your blog, that's fine -  I'll understand.

10 and half weeks ago, my mom passed away. I took the time to write something short about how I feel and wondered if it would fly on Toronto Mike. If you do post it can you leave my last name off?

The entry is below:

This Monday will be 11 weeks since my mother took her last breath. Despite the fact that her battle with cancer lasted 7 years, it still feels so shocking and the sting is still strong. My mom was a great person and I will always miss her. I’ve been having a tough time the past few days and thought I would vent my feelings to the city of Toronto.

I don’t believe in heaven, and I don’t believe I will ever see my mother again. She’s dead and her existence is gone. I will continue to love her forever, but there is no evidence for me to believe pretty stories of seeing my mom again. I am lucky that I got to spend more than 31 years with one of the most special people I’ve ever known.

I will end with a Quote by the great Carl Sagan:

I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking. The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides. [Carl Sagan, 1996 in his article In the Valley of the Shadow Parade Magazine Also, Billions and Billions p. 215]

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Comments (10 - click here to join in!)

Wandering Penguin

Wonderful. Thank you both for this.

November 4, 2011 @ 3:49 PM


Jason, take comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering.

Nice guest blog...

November 4, 2011 @ 3:55 PM

Ryan G

Hear, hear.

November 4, 2011 @ 5:01 PM


I know the feeling. My Mom died of cancer as well in 1987 and I still miss her, but don't believe I'll ever see her again either. My mom was only battling cancer for less than one year. Well, maybe it was longer, but she didn't know she had it until July 1986. Go habs.

November 4, 2011 @ 5:11 PM


Nicely done - refreshingly authentic.

November 4, 2011 @ 5:17 PM

Toronto Mike Verified as the defacto Toronto Mike


Refreshingly authentic is a good way to put it.

Jason just misses his mom, and realizes he won't ever see her again. There's really no need for us to deceive ourselves with "pretty stories". We know that we'll live and we know that we'll die, the in between is ours to embrace.

Well done, Jason. I sympathize with you.

November 4, 2011 @ 5:27 PM


I'm sorry for your loss, Jason.

November 4, 2011 @ 8:43 PM


Jason---I can relate on 2 levels. Canver is a bitch---I lost my husband to it 7 years ago at the far too young age of 54. There is still a corner of me that is royally pissed every day that it happened. I lost my Mother this past April--not to cancer thankfully, but to old age---she was 92. Even having her for 56 years does not lessen the loss. This should just remind us to hold our loved ones close.
As far as seeing them again--I truly hope so--I would like to hug them one more time.
Take care.

November 5, 2011 @ 10:38 AM


Jason: I am sorry for your loss and can truly understand how you are feeling right now. You will never forget your mom and all that special times with her but it will get better. Don't mean to sound trite with that statement. The first year will be the hardest. Treasure the memories. And I agree with Jen - I truly hope I do see our loved ones again.

November 5, 2011 @ 8:29 PM

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