Armed With A Caulking Gun

The Dead PoolThey say you should learn something new everyday. I can honestly say I learned something new this morning. I learned that if you're ever looking to bypass security in order to gain access to an impregnable area, bringing along a caulking gun "seals" the deal.

This morning I was chatting with a colleague at the office when we heard a rap on the glass door that separates our work space from the public foyer. This particular door acts as a side entry for employees only and requires a security pass. I glanced up to see who was knocking and witnessed two of the scariest looking dudes I'd ever laid eyes on. They were wearing fairly ratty clothing and one resembled a street thug while the other bore an uncanny resemblance to unabomber Ted Kaczynski. My colleague, who I'll simply refer to as Scott, noticed that the thugly looking gentleman was holding a caulking gun. The mere sight of this caulking gun indicated to Scott that these two potential vagrants must be authorized. I mean, they had a caulking gun for heaven's sake. Nobody would be carrying a caulking gun if they didn't intend to use it, right?

Scott held the door open for these two and when they told him they were there to seal a window, they were simply let in to go about their business. They were able to roam freely amongst highly confidential information and expensive hardware. No security passes were necessary because they had a $10 caulking gun. The lesson here is that if you're carrying a caulking gun, you can be granted access to pretty much anywhere. Fort Knox, the Pentagon, backstage at the MTV Video Music Awards...bring along a caulking gun and you're in like flint.


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