Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
We Burn Down Oshawa First...
Published by Toronto Mike on January 11, 2011 @ 20:51 in Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
John Hastings is a Toronto Comedian and he's doing his very first headlining appearance as a stand-up comedian at the Downtown Yuk Yuks on January 12th to the 16th.
I told him if he wanted a plug he had to write an essay on what he loves and/or hates about Toronto. Here's what he sent me.
I John Hastings love Toronto but like any great love affair a tiny hate sprinkle keeps my love for this city of large towers and bizarrely performing sports teams interesting. I hate the fact that nobody defends this city to the outside criticism that gets thrown at “Big Smoke” on a second by second basis by the people who do not live here. I am a comedian, which is a job that I have, and one of the tasks of that job is to go to every ridiculously tiny town and listen to someone who considers lack of teeth to be a point of pride bash my adoptive home.
Now these naysayers of my apartments location never mention massive traffic, a mayor who looks like a baby with his period or the extreme amount of taxes we face (the taxes in this town are so extreme I as a comedian who does not own a couch is aware that the taxes are outlandish). These summer teeth dolts mention things that do not make any sense when you think about the context in which the complaint is delivered. For example last while in Highland Hamlet Ontario (Not the real name of the town, the change was to protect the innocent it was to protect but due to the fact that I cannot remember the precise name of the town) and while there a man who was chewing tobacco and smoking a cigarette at the same time came up and asked how do I live in Toronto there seems to be nothing going on there. He said this as a resident of a town that did not have a grocery store and what was my response to this attack on my home. I stood there and nodded and said I know what I mean. I should have slapped the cigarette out his mouth and said listen up you hick in my town we burned police cars just because it was weekend in June but no as I previously stated I stood there, I starred, and said I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I have no idea what causes this lack of defensive attitude in our people but we need to take a stand and explain to the rest of the country that we Toronto are the big dog in the yard and stop biting our ears of we are going to start biting back. Now how do we send this message? We burn down Oshawa first off I never trust a town that has three Wal-Marts that you can see from the highway yet no houses. As well nobody I am sure will miss it and finally I will roll into Blyth Ontario only to here somebody on snow-mobile say “Be complimentary that joker is from Toronto and last time I made fun of that big stupid tower Tie Domi showed up at my house and punched my dog”. For more gems like this come watch me yell at Yuk Yuks this week the 12th to the 17th 224 Richmond street all shows are at 8 and then 8 and 10:30 on Friday and Saturday.
Lunar Eclipse Over the CN Tower
Published by Toronto Mike on December 23, 2010 @ 23:12 in Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
On December 21, 2010, two celestial events coincided; a complete lunar eclipse and an annual Winter Solstice. Here's my favourite shot of the lunar eclipse over the CN Tower here in Toronto.
[via byronjyu's Flickr account]
Don Cherry's Speech at Rob Ford's Ceremony
Published by Toronto Mike on December 7, 2010 @ 19:30 in Rob Ford Watch, Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
I should preface this entry by saying I've always been a big Don Cherry fan. Hey look! Almost seven years ago, I wrote a whole entry about how much I like the guy. Following the first period during Hockey Night in Canada I don't go anywhere until after Coach's Corner.
But really, Mississaugan Don Cherry is a hockey commentator. What's he doing introducing Rob Ford at the inaugural meeting of the new city council? It's ridiculous of Rob Ford to invite him and Cherry's remarks are downright embarrassing.
Here's what Don Cherry said, as transcribed by the Toronto Star.
“Well, actually, I’m wearing pinko for all the pinkos out there that ride bicycles and everything, I thought I’d get it in. (laughs, claps, oohs) What’d ya expect, Ron MacLean here, to come here?
“I am befuddled because I thought I was just doing a good thing coming down with Rob and I was gonna do this here and it was going to be nice and the whole deal. I’m being ripped to shreds by the left-wing pinko newspapers out there — it’s unbelievable. One guy called me a jerk in a pink suit so I thought I’d wear that for him too today. (applause)
“In those articles I was made fun of because I go to church, I’m easy to do it that way, and I was called maudlin for the troops, because I honour the troops. This is the kind of (inaudible) you’re going to be facing Rob with these left-wing pinkos. They scrape the bottom of the barrel.
“Again, why I was asked (to speak) and I asked (Councillor) Doug (Ford) why, and they said we need a famous good-looking guy and I said I’m your man right off the bat.
“I was asked why a landslide. I was in their corner right from the start. Doug phoned me that morning and I told him you’ll get a landslide and why? Because Rob is honest, he’s truthful, he’s like Julian Fantino — what you see is what you get. He’s no phony. And I could go on right now all the millions and millions and thousands of dollars he’s gonna save and everything.
“But I’d just like to tell a little story that was in the Sun, I think it was in the back pages, just a little thing and (City of Toronto ombudsman) Fiona Crean for 18 months has been trying to get something done with City Hall.
“I think some of you know the story. There was a little old lady and all of a sudden she gets banged on the door and two guys were there and said ‘We’re cutting your tree down’ — you know this is a little thing but this is to me a big thing — ‘We’re cutting your tree down.” And she says ‘Well, I don’t want it, that’s my favourite tree, a 100-year-old’ – ‘No, it’s down. Cut it down.’ And then they send her a bill for $5,000 for cutting it down and for 18 months her son and Fiona were ‘City Hall, City Hall, please help us’, 30, 40 calls, unbelievable, nothing, laughed at.
“Rob’s in the mayor (job) one day, an apology comes and a $5,000 cheque and that’s why I say he’s going to be the greatest mayor this city has ever seen, as far as I’m concerned, and put that in your pipe you left-wing kooks. Thank you very much.”
Us left-wing kooks sure got the message, Don. And way to label bike riders "pinkos" you Neanderthal. Please do us all a favour and stick to talking hockey and supporting the troops.
But really, we can't blame Don Cherry for being Don Cherry. He never should have been making such a speech at the inaugural meeting of the new city council. He never should have been invited by our new mayor, Rob Ford. That's the true embarrassment here.
And on that note, I invite you all to revisit my recent "The Leafs vs. Rob Ford: Which is The Greater Embarrassment For Toronto?" entry. Voting is still open.
The Leafs vs. Rob Ford: Which is The Greater Embarrassment For Toronto? Vote Here
Published by Toronto Mike on December 3, 2010 @ 11:40 in Rob Ford Watch, Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
Yesterday I ranted about the Leafs and Rob Ford. As a proud Torontonian, both embarrass me. I'm just not sure which embarrasses me more.
Please take a moment out of your busy Friday to cast a vote below. Simply leave a comment telling me which is the greater embarrassment for Toronto: the Maple Leafs or Rob Ford.
For those of you who read but never comment, this is your chance. Don't worry, your email address isn't published on the site and I'm totally fine with you using an alias.
Rob Ford Can't Kill Transit City
Published by Toronto Mike on December 2, 2010 @ 19:27 in Rob Ford Watch, Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
Rob Ford surprised nobody with grandiose statements made on day one as Mayor. He announced that he's canceling the Transit City LRT construction plan so the city can concentrate on building subways. Sure, we've already spent millions of dollars and new subway lines might not be finished until 2020, but Rob Ford's stopping wars.
Transit City is over, ladies and gentlemen... the war on the car stops today.
This was day one. It's going to be a very interesting time, and I'm just wondering how long it will be until this idiot implodes or our city explodes. I still can't believe we voted this guy in when everyone I know who likes him lives in the 905.
But wait, can Rob Ford actually do what he says he's done? Can he kill Transit City on his own? Nope.
But Ford's proclamation on Wednesday does not seal the fate of the transit plan, which was seven years in the making.
Ford acknowledged that in order for him to fulfil his promise of putting an end to Transit City, he would need council's support.
"Everyone's going to have a discussion on that, but I'm the mayor of the city, I have to lead by example, and that's exactly what I'm doing," he said.
When asked how he would persuade council to support him, Ford said: "That's up to the councillors."
Rob Ford can say Transit City is dead, but it's going to council and he's only got one vote out of 45. One of 45... just keep repeating that to yourself - it helps.
Meanwhile, I'm wondering exactly how much gravy was on that train Rob Ford kept yakking about. Ontario Transportation Minister Kathleen Wynne has said that $137 million has already been spent on the project, and an additional $1.3 billion committed in Transit City-related contracts. That's a lot of gravy!
How many of you with home addresses in the 416 sincerely believe Rob Ford is the best man to lead this city?
Warning: Rob Ford Wants to Be Prime Minister
Published by Toronto Mike on November 18, 2010 @ 11:52 in Rob Ford Watch, Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
Ryan from Rogers TV sent me this video of Rob Ford predicting he'll one day be mayor of Toronto. This video is from 2006.
I'm a little concerned, because he also states he wants to be Prime Minister. Uh oh...
One Cold Halloween
Published by Toronto Mike on October 30, 2010 @ 09:42 in Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
I guess I've been lucky. My first born is now 8-years old, making this my 7th Halloween going around the neighbourhood taking him trick-or-treating. I've always taken note of how seasonably warm each of these nights were, and been grateful.
They're calling for a high of 7°C tomorrow, but it'll dip to 2°C by the evening. That's friggin' cold.
Oh well... this is Halloween.
How Toronto Voted for Mayor
Published by Toronto Mike on October 28, 2010 @ 16:48 in Rob Ford Watch, Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
From the National Post, here's how Toronto voted in the mayoral election, broken down by ward.
The suburbs wanted Rob Ford, downtown wanted Smitherman.
Rob Ford is Peter Griffin #VoteTO
Published by Toronto Mike on October 24, 2010 @ 16:56 in Rob Ford Watch, Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
Back in March, I wrote "Rob Ford For Mayor? Not On My Watch...". With election day tomorrow, it's clear from the polls that Rob Ford hasn't gone away. As frighteningly inconceivable as it may seem to me, It's quite possible that he could be our next mayor. That's a scary thought.
I like what Accordion Guy wrote today about tomorrow's Toronto mayoral election. Rob Ford is Peter Griffin.
Family Guy is centred around the my-God-are-you-really-that-stupid antics of Peter Griffin, who somehow manages to come out on top despite his best efforts. Should Rob Ford become mayor, City Council is likely to become the same thing.
Ford’s campaign mantra is to “stop the gravy train” – to stop wasteful spending at City Hall. Hey, I’m all for cutting waste, but what he proposes to cut are either for show (things like free subway and zoo passes for City Council members) or useful and vital city infrastructure. To Ford, it seems that the Mayor’s number one job is to make things cheap.
Accordion Guy also mentioned Eye Weekly's summary of Rob Ford.
Wait, you say the mayoral frontrunner is an uncouth, simple-minded loudmouth with a notoriously bad temper and a penchant for saying absolutely the wrong thing? And he wants to rip up streetcar tracks, slash city spending and dismantle service infrastructure? And to top it all off, he has a demonstrated inability to get anyone on council to work with him? Where do we sign up? Seriously, though: the best-case scenario with Ford is that he can’t accomplish anything. Worst-case, he ruins the city entirely.
Let's not ruin our city entirely. Don't vote for Rob Ford tomorrow.
2015 Pan Am Games Logo
Published by Toronto Mike on September 29, 2010 @ 16:55 in Toronto News ~ Toronto Focus
I know you don't care, but we're hosting the 2015 Pan Am Games. We have also now have a logo.
What do you think?