Keaton once said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well, I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is an Evangelical Christian.

Heaven help us...

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I hear there's a Rapture scheduled for May 21, 2011. Christian radio host Harold Camping says May 21 will be the date of the Rapture and the day of judgment "beyond the shadow of a doubt". Who am I to argue with Harold Camping?

If this Saturday is the Rapture, and only 200 million people will be raptured, I'm betting I'll be left behind. That's going to suck five months from now when the world ends.

I have two questions for everybody: Is there a Rapture this Saturday and are you one of God's elect people?

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I don't own an iPhone, but I do own an iPod Touch. I enjoy several free apps, including Seesmic, Facebook, Scramble and the TD Bank app. I'm addicted to that damn Scramble game, but I digress...

The Roman Catholic Church has approved an iPhone app called Confession. It's only $1.99 and it bills itself as "the perfect aid for every penitent."

Sinners, unite!

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The Associated Press is featuring an article about Marie Exley. Marie seems normal enough, she's a 32-year-old Army veteran from Colorado Springs, except for one thing... She believes the end of the world will begin May 21, 2011.

To get the word out, they're using billboards and bus stop benches, traveling caravans of RVs and volunteers passing out pamphlets on street corners. Cities from Bridgeport, Conn., to Little Rock, Ark., now have billboards with the ominous message, and mission groups are traveling through Latin America and Africa to spread the news outside the U.S.

"A lot of people might think, 'The end's coming, let's go party,'" said Exley, a veteran of two deployments in Iraq. "But we're commanded by God to warn people. I wish I could just be like everybody else, but it's so much better to know that when the end comes, you'll be safe."

In August, Exley left her home in Colorado Springs, Colo., to work with Oakland, Calif.-based Family Radio Worldwide, the independent Christian ministry whose leader, Harold Camping, has calculated the May 21 date based on his reading of the Bible.

This entry isn't to bash religion or to promote atheism, it's simply to point out the fine line between faith and crazy. A large group of people believe on May 21 they'll be taken up to heaven, while everyone else will remain on earth for a period of torment, concluding with the end of time. If you heard that from a homeless guy downtown, you'd label him crazy. I don't see the difference between the homeless guy downtown and folks like Marie Exley.

She's crazy. And when May 21 comes and goes and Harold Camping's cult is still with us, they'll make up a different date.

People will believe and do some crazy shit in the name of God.

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This video is making the rounds. It's creationism propaganda for children captured on camera.

The whole notion of the bible being treated as "the history book of the universe" is pretty disgusting. It reminds me of the Creation Museum we all laughed at last summer and For the Bible Tells Me So, a great documentary about how religious leaders use the bible to promote hate.

Way back in 2004, I read a statistic that continues to blow my mind. 37% of Americans wanted the teaching of 'evolutionism' replaced outright by this silliness they call creationism.

It baffles me that in 2010 this kind of nonsense continues. I just feel for these poor kids who have been brain washed at such a innocent and malleable age. There oughta be a law...

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As many as 100,000 may die from the earthquake in Haiti. Haiti's infrastructure was poor before this natural disaster, the tragic consequence of poverty and corruption, and now there is both chaos and devastation.

The world must help Haiti, even if they did make a deal with the devil. Literally. Just ask Rev. Pat Robertson.

If God is so great with all that omnipotence and such, you'd think he'd find a loophole in this deal Haiti struck with Satan. Luckily for Haiti, Pat Robertson is here to pick up the pieces. Bless his ignorant and insensitive heart.

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St. Matthew-in-the-city is a progressive Anglican church in Auckland, New Zealand. They recently created some controversy by erecting the following billboard.

The Vicar of St Matthew-in-the-City, Glynn Cardy, said the billboard was "attacked by a knife-wielding Christian fanatic". That was actually the fourth attack on the billboard in two days.

Archdeacon Cardy earlier said the billboard was designed to let people outside the church realise that many Christians and church leaders did not believe in the literal virgin birth, and did not believe that was the true meaning of Christmas.

"We're out to critique the idea of a male god impregnating Mary and the literalism of the virgin birth.

"The topic is ... something the church has talked about for centuries, but what is new is that we have the audacity to laugh at something quite so ridiculous as a male god sending sperm down to impregnate Mary," he said.

At the risk of becoming rather unpopular during this Christmas season, I've got to ask. Does anyone actually believe that Mary miraculously conceived Jesus while remaining a virgin?

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This handy flowchart will help you determine what religion you should follow.

[via Holy Taco]

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If you ever find yourself in Petersburg, Kentucky, you've got to check out the Creation Museum. Thanks to the Creation Museum, I just learnt that our Earth is only 6000 years old and man and dinosaurs once coexisted.

Although that contradicts absolutely everything science has taught us, it must be true if it's in a museum. If you're under the false assumption Earth is approximately 4.5 billion years old, and that the dinosaurs became extinct 65.5 million years before human beings arose, get your ass to Kentucky and "prepare to believe."

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There's buzz today about a Pew Research Center survey that suggests the more often Americans go to church, the more likely they are to support the torture of suspected terrorists. I'd file this one under D for "Duh!".

As others have pointed out, the concept of Hell is pretty much based on the threat of torture. Religious people are bred to accept torture as a way of life.... errr, I mean, death.

Growing up, my grandmother used to say "bless us and save us from the fires of Hell". That's some scary shit for a kid to hear. The entire concept of Hell is so frightful and hateful it's the absolute last thing I'd want to put in my kids' minds. To Hell with Hell!

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