Pluto Demoted

Forget what you have learned. Forget what they rammed down your throat in primary school about there being nine planets in our dinky little solar system. Forget My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pies. You can replace that with My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nothing. Pluto has been demoted.

Astronomers today declared that Pluto is being reclassified in a new category of "dwarf planets" and has lost it's status as a "classical" planet. Eight is enough, apparently.

Admit it, Pluto was always your favourite. It was the furthest from the sun, by far the smallest and it inspired the name of a popular Disney character. They can rewrite the text books if they want, but when it comes to my solar system, there's no room for scientific fact. I want my Pluto.